Chapter 9 #2
“We make introductions, but there’s never any pressure or demand made of either the patron or the angel.
It’s probably no different from introductions made in the sports world when you’re coming up.
Coaches introduce skilled players to agents and scouts, I assume?
I mean, I could be completely off base, but it seems plausible. ”
I nodded. He was right. My juniors coach introduced me to people who introduced me to other people, and I ended up in Headland Cove. Even the coach and general manager of the Breakers had made introductions.
“Halo House isn’t pimping anyone out here, Cash.
We make introductions, and it allows people who have resources to help those who don’t.
There’s never an expectation of quid pro quo.
Whatever relationship develops between the angel and their patron is something they both control.
Same with any pairing you’d find outside of Halo House. ”
Hope flared. I hated it. It sucked. Most people thought hope was this beautiful thing because they’d never had it given and yanked away over and over and over again. And if they had, and they still found hope to be beautiful…? Well, they were fucking stupid.
I should know. I was one of them. I continually let hope knock me on my fucking ass. And I was ready to risk the lesson again because a few virtual strangers had given me the same answer using different words.
“Cash…life burned you. Badly. Life has a way of using up the talented, beautiful people of this world and leaving them alone. Empty and broken, with nowhere to turn. It plays out in the headlines. In reels, stories, and magazines. We see it day after day. If I can be the wall and Halo House the moat to keep the monsters at bay, I will do it. I will pay any price to stand between those the world targets with cruelty so that the talented, beautiful individuals who cross our threshold have the time and space to fight the battles they need to fight. But even then they will go to war rejuvenated, knowing they are not alone.”
“I don’t want to be alone or empty or broken anymore,” I whispered, burying my head in my hands to hide the tears spilling down my cheeks.
Phoenix’s chair scraped against the patio stones beneath us. Then a throat cleared and a voice, not the soft lyrical sound of Phoenix’s but the low rumble that drew me like a magnet, said, “Then take my hand, close your eyes, and leap. I will catch you, Cash. I will catch you.”
I turned my head in my hands, and Thad came into view. His sexy, beautiful, tear-stained face filled my field of vision, blocking out the world. “How…how do we make this work?”
“What specifically are you asking to make work?” Thad asked.
“We’ve kissed, which is fine if you’re my patron, apparently. You, Phoenix, Aaron, and Maxie all told me these relationships are voluntary and patrons don’t own angels. Fine. I want you. You want me. Fabulous. But you’re not just offering to be my patron.”
“No. I’m offering to be your doctor.”
“Right.” I took a deep breath. “If I agree to this surgery and—holy fuck do I want to agree—then you’re also going to be my doctor… So, tell me, Doc… How the fuck is that supposed to work? How do we navigate wanting each other, you paying for my surgery, and being my doctor?”
“The patron and doctor can coexist without issue. We’ve done it previously. It’s the attraction we both feel that’s the problem. If we do this…I’m your doctor first. I have to be. Anything else will need to be pushed away.”
“Pushed away?” I asked.
Thad’s eyes raked over my face, and the hand that had landed on my knee when he sat in the chair Phoenix had vacated squeezed, fingers biting into my quad. With a deep inhale, he said, “It means what happened in Davina’s office can’t happen again. I shouldn’t have let it happen the first time.”
“You didn’t let anything happen. I went after what I wanted. And I want you, Doc.”
“You’re right, Cash. You did. But so did I. I kissed you back. I participated. And as your doctor, I’m responsible for making sure it doesn’t happen again while you’re my patient. No matter how much I might want you under me, I will not pursue the attraction I feel for you.”
“And we can’t—”
“This isn’t an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, Cash. It’s real life. So, no. If you choose me as your doctor, I won’t compromise your care to get you in my bed.”
“And if I don’t choose you as my doctor?”
Thad’s face twisted in a multitude of ways—some comical, some pissed the hell off, a few even seemed hopeful—but he said, “Then I’ll help you find the most qualified surgeon available who I trust to do your surgery.”
I opened my mouth, but he held up his hand, stopping me. “Before you ask, Halo House, meaning me, still pays for your treatment from beginning to end.”
“And if I don’t choose you as my patron?”
“You can test me all you want, kid. Nothing changes. If you want the surgery, I operate and Halo House pays.”
“And by Halo House you mean you?”
“Yes.”
I sat with that for a few moments, then asked, “What happens if you tell me to do something, and I say no?”
“What do you mean?”
“Anything. Surgery, rehab, something you want me to do recovery-wise, but I tell you no.”
“At the end of the day, you’re an adult.
If you make medically poor decisions, then I’ll definitely have shit to say.
Probably extremely loudly. Scratch that.
It will definitely be extremely loud. Ask some of my former patients.
” His spewed words might have started exasperated, but they ended on a laugh.
“But if I tell you no…?” I trailed off, looking out over the garden because no way could this heavily landscaped space with the fancy-ass pool be considered a backyard.
“Cash? Did you have a question?”
I nodded. Then nodded again. Then, once more before I asked, “If I tell you no, you don’t pull the money?”
“No.”
Two other questions burned to be asked. Tears I didn’t realize were pooling in my eyes followed the ones that came before. “And you won’t decide it’s not worth continuing? That I’m not worth paying to fix?”
“Cash, no. Never. Halo House won’t kick you out. This house is your home until you decide to live your life elsewhere, and even then, they will always welcome you back with open arms.”
Silence settled over us, then Thad said softly, “There might be medical consequences for ignoring your treatment plan. But…and please hear me when I say this…there will never be financial consequences or housing issues because you disagreed with me.”
“What if I decide I want you more than I want you as my doctor?”
“You asked me that already.”
“Not really. I asked what would happen if I didn’t choose you as my doctor. I want to know what you would do if I decided I wanted you as a doctor, but I wanted you as a man in my bed—in my life—more?”
He swallowed. His Adam’s apple bobbed slowly before he cleared his throat. “Then you choose another surgeon, and I stand proudly beside you as the man you chose, while helping you navigate the weeks and months of recovery.”
“Yeah, I want you, Doc. But I spent a shitload of money trekking around this fucking country, going from doctor to doctor, trying to get one of the idiots to make the introduction. I’m not giving up this chance because you make my dick hard.”
He laughed, boisterous and so fucking beautiful my dick twitched.
“Then I’m your doctor.”
“Yeah, Doc. You are.”
Another pause in the conversation, but this one felt less…weighty. Things were…settled.
“Good. I want you in my bed, Cash, just so we’re clear, but you believed I was the best person to give you a chance. And you deserve that chance. You deserve the best medical care I can give you, Cash. I won’t shortchange you because I can’t keep my hands to myself.”
“How long?”
“How long what?”
I smirked, letting my eyes rake down his big body. “I need a date, Doc.”
A furrowed brow asked what his mouth didn’t.
“For the countdown clock. When will you release me?”
He laughed. “I don’t know, Cash.”
“That’s a shitty answer, Doc.”
Laughter rang through the air around us, his and mine. All this scared the shit out of me. But so did standing in a net while a skater smacked pucks at you as hard as they could.
“What about the other question?” Thad asked, several moments later.
I looked at him, really looked at him. “I want you in my corner,” I whispered around the frog that took up residence in my throat. “It scares the shit out of me, but yeah. I want you however I can get you, Thad.”
He said, “You know you can change your mind, right?”
“About you being my patron?”
“About any of it. Patron or doctor, you can change your mind.”
“But not about wanting you?” I asked with a smirk so he’d know I was joking.
“If and when—”
“When, Doc. When. There is no if.”
“Then yes, that too.”
“Yeah. I know.”
“Good.” He held out his hand to me, palm up, and said, “Then take my hand, Cash. Close your eyes and leap. I promise I’ll catch you.”
My blue eyes locked on his warm brown ones, and I did as he prompted. I closed my eyes, laid my hand in his. His fingers curled through mine, lacing our hands together.
For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel alone in the world.