Chapter 15 #2
He took a deep breath and looked away, staring at something over my shoulder. After another deep breath, he looked back at me. He said, “But…none of those things tell us whether you’ll play hockey again. And I’m worried that you’ll pin your hopes on these early wins and be disappointed later.”
“But you agree it’s a step.”
“Yes, it’s a step. A small one.” He sighed. “But a step.”
“In the right direction.”
“Yes.”
“Then why can’t you let me be fucking happy about it?”
“I can.”
“You’re doing a shitty job of showing it.”
He dragged a hand over his head. “Because I know athletes, Cash. And I’m coming to know you pretty well too.”
I raised my eyebrows. “You’ve known me for a couple of months.”
“Long enough to know you’re already turning this into something it isn’t.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you’re sitting there thinking that because your knee tolerated a straight-leg raise, you’ll be skating by spring. Hell, I’m worried you’re thinking you’ll be taking shots on goal in the next six months.”
I didn’t answer. Because he was right. That was exactly what I’d been thinking. Not playing. I wasn’t that delusional. But skating? Feeling the ice under my blades again? Proving my body hadn’t forgotten everything it knew? Maybe even standing in the net in my gear.
“Cash.”
“I didn’t say anything about spring.”
“You didn’t have to.”
I dropped back and stared at the ceiling. “You said I had a shot.”
“I said that if every stage goes as well as the surgery, you may have a small chance. We are still in the first stage.”
“One I’m fucking crushing.”
“Yes, you are doing very well.”
“Cautiously encouraged,” I mocked.
“Yes.”
I turned my head toward him. “Can you stop being my surgeon for five minutes and admit this is good?”
He went silent.
Not the silence he used when he wanted me to think about something. This was different. I’d caught him without an answer, which happened so rarely I almost forgot why I’d asked.
Because I needed this from him.
I didn’t need a promise. I knew he couldn’t give me one. I needed him to look at what my knee had done and believe, even for a minute, that I might get back everything I’d lost.
“I am so proud of you. And so happy,” he finally admitted. “But I’m also scared.”
Some of the fight drained out of me. “Of what?”
“Giving you hope my medical judgment can’t support. Of destroying any shot I have with the most interesting, sexy, sassy brat I’ve ever met.”
“That’s my hope. Not yours. And…let me set your mind at ease…I’m not letting this shitty-ass knee of mine ruin my shot at a sexy, silver fox Daddy type I want to ride my ass.”
“I appreciate the setting at ease, but my words can feed your hope.”
I laughed and said, “So can your face when you think I’m not looking.”
He glanced away. His lips rolled into his mouth, and he chewed them. I closed my fingers around his wrist before he could stand. “Hey…Dr. Vale?”
His eyes slid back to mine, his brows doing the communicating.
“I know this doesn’t mean I’m getting back on the ice.” I smiled sadly because as much as I didn’t want to believe the words I uttered, I did.
His gaze returned to mine fully, his handsome face turning to mine. “Do you?”
“Yes.” I loosened my grip, but I didn’t let Thad go.
“The reduced swelling after the progressions…all it means is my knee did what we asked it to do. It doesn’t mean it will handle skating or the rapid succession of movement I’d need to do in the net or the physicality of the sport.
I know this. Do I like it? No. Do I hope it’s more than that?
Yes. But for today, the knee handling what we asked has to be enough. ”
“For today?”
“Yes, Doc, for today. I can be happy about today’s progress. I’ll push and hope for more tomorrow.”
I felt his pulse beneath my fingertips.
Thad’s eyes dropped to my hand around his wrist, and the air between us changed. Our gazes met through the dark fringe of his lashes as he looked up at me. The heat in his eyes pierced my soul and set my insides on fire.
When he looked at me like that, he was Thad, my sexy, silver fox Daddy.
He was the man who’d slept by my bed in a torture device of a chair the first night and then moved his expensive lounger to sleep in my room.
Even after he moved to his bedroom, he woke himself every few hours during my first week in his house to make sure I was breathing.
The man who knew I hated scrambled eggs and could not be bribed into eating them.
Not even—or rather, most especially not—with hot sauce.
The man who’d heard me singing badly in the shower and watched me swear at every goddamn thing I dropped and couldn’t pick up.
The man who wanted me.
“For today,” he agreed.
I released him and pointed at the brace. “Now strap me back into the medieval torture device so I can take a shower.”
“You showered yesterday.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re being ridiculous, Doc. People usually shower every day.”
“You aren’t people. You’re a pain in my ass.”
“It’s a nice ass too, but I’d prefer it if you were a pain in mine.”
He tightened the lower strap harder than necessary, and I laughed. “That’s not a denial, Doc.”
“You’re still my patient.”
The laughter died in my throat.
“Yeah, I know,” I whispered.
He finished securing the brace and checked the fit. When he looked up, I was still watching him.
Not Dr. Vale.
Thad.
“That’s why I said you like it,” I continued. “Not that you get to touch it.”
His gaze dropped before he could stop it.
The gray sweatpants I wore left little to the imagination, but my ass wasn’t the part of me reacting to the way he looked at me.
“Shower,” he ordered as he pushed himself to his feet.
“Yes, Dr. Vale.”
“And use the bench.”
“Yes, Dr. Vale.”
“And keep the brace on until you’re seated.”
“Yes, Dr. Vale.”
“Cover the incisions even though they’re closed.”
“Yes, Dr. Vale.”
“Call me if—”
“If I fall, get dizzy, suddenly forget how showers work, or require a handsome naked physician to provide emergency assistance.”
His eyes flashed.
Then the front of his sweatpants shifted.
My gaze dropped before slowly returning to his face.
Well, hello, Thad.
He looked as if he wanted to walk out of the room and lock himself away until I moved out of his house.
He also looked like he wanted to throw me to the ground, crawl on top of me, and show me exactly how much he liked and wanted my ass.
“Bathroom,” he growled.
I let my smile widen. “Cautiously encouraged, Doc?”
There was nothing cautious about what I was encouraging. He turned away before I could enjoy the full answer written across his face. But I saw the smile, and the lust.