Chapter 15 #2
I can’t help it; the quiet pleading in his voice makes me turn around, but I know fury and pain are etched all over my face. When I’m this upset there is no hiding what I’m feeling, so I don’t even try to spare him from seeing it.
“Don, none of this makes sense. I don’t understand what is going on, and I’m so confused.
I told you how hard it is for me to share my feelings and trust people.
I want to believe you because you said you felt the same way and that felt so real.
But if all of this is true, my whole life has been a lie.
How am I supposed to trust anything…anyone? ”
My voice has a broken edge, and the dam holding my tears back threatens to break.
I know that once that happens, talking will no longer be an option, so I hold onto what’s left of my sanity.
I’m not a pretty crier; I sob and hyperventilate to the point no words can escape me.
And now is definitely not the time for that.
Don takes a deep breath as if steeling himself against the pain he sees within me.
“Baby, no, you can. What I said earlier was completely true. You are a part of me, and now I know why. We really were meant to find each other. I know we just met, but you know you can still trust me. You can feel I’m not lying to you.
I don’t know what happened to you, but I really need you to believe that we are here to help you.
We can show you, ok? Can you just give me a little more time? ”
His words are so sincere that I find myself wavering.
I desperately want to put my faith in him, because he is right.
I can sense that he’s telling me the truth, that I really can trust him, but my mind is refusing to fully give into that idea.
I have never felt this strongly for anyone in my entire life, and no matter how crazy it sounds I just can’t walk away.
There is also apart of me that just really needs to know what is happening.
Squaring my shoulders, I meet his eyes and give a small nod.
The tension leaves his face, and for some reason that makes me calm further.
Don clears his throat. “We’re gonna need to go outside for this I think. Brent, lead us out.”
Outside in the backyard they all stand around me, but, thankfully, I don’t feel overwhelmed—yet. Don steps closer to me, not touching, but close enough that I can feel the warmth of his body.
“Deep breaths, ok?”
Still not trusting my voice, I nod again. He then turns to Aiden.
“Can you shift? You’re probably going to be the one to scare her the least.”
Aiden rolls his eyes and takes a few steps away from us, quickly removing his clothes.
I begin to protest. Why is he taking his clothes off?
But before I can make a sound, or even begin to process what Don had actually said, I feel it.
A hum of energy fills the air around us, a soothing vibration, and Aiden transforms into the largest and most beautiful wolf I have ever seen.
He is massive; he towers over me. His proud wolven head lifts, assessing me with his piercing gaze, and his tall erect ears perk forward listening intently.
He is beautiful, and I want to weave my fingers into his coat.
It looks so soft, and it’s the darkest and richest brown.
His coat actually matches his hair color when he is a man.
That is such a strange thing to say, when he is a man.
Is he still? Is he aware of who we are when he‘s in this form? Can he communicate like this?
I’m too stunned to speak, but as I stare into Aiden’s eyes, something stirs deep inside myself.
An energy builds, and it causes the others to look at me like they can feel it too, but it disappears as if it isn’t ready to be felt.
My brows crease at the loss, trying to pull it back, but instead what I find is Aiden’s voice in my mind, clear as day.
See? It is possible for you to have claws.
I startle a little, and finally find some words to speak out loud. I turn my eyes to Donovan.“So, you’re saying I’m like him?”
My lack of hysterics must have eased the guys further; I can feel them all relaxing, still on alert, but the tension is fading.
I’m not even sure why I’m not freaking out.
Have I reached my limit? Or am I not reacting because a part of me recognizes what they have been saying and what I’m seeing is the truth?
“Similar, yes. Until you actually turn, we have no idea what your beast actually is, but we all felt her. Just now, and when you were in that trance earlier.”
“You should have turned at a much younger age. You should never have been kept in the dark. It’s incredibly dangerous for you and for our people to have one of us not know what they are,” Brent states quietly, almost as if he is being careful not to spook me.
Don and Camden nod in agreement and a gentle huff from Aiden lets me know he also agrees. Don tentatively reaches for my hand, and his hesitancy clenches my heart. I don’t want to hurt him, and it feels wrong to see him question if I will allow his touch.
“Let’s go back inside and we can talk some more. We promise to answer any of your questions to the best of our ability, and if we don’t know the answers, I know people who do.”
“Ok.” I take his hand, his fingers gently weaving through mine. That touch gives me confidence to ask what I have been silently wondering since I saw Aiden change.
“Wait, what do you turn into, Don? Do you all change into wolves?”
“Baby, I don’t want to scare you. You’ve been through so much in less than an hour.”
That makes me frown, and I attempt to take my hand out of his, but he doesn’t loosen his hold.
“You said you would be honest with me.”I feel my teeth bare at him and see in the reflection of his dark blue eyes that mine are still violet, glowing even brighter than they were earlier.
He swipes his other hand over his face, still refusing to let mine go. He looks at Brent and Aiden.
“If he goes after her you’re gonna have to block me. Cam, you get her out of here if I do.”
That makes me go still.
“Why would you come after me?”
Camden moves first, stepping closer to me. Don gives my hand a squeeze before he stalks away from me. I can see his back muscles ripple under his tight cotton shirt.
“Because he wants you; his beast sees you as his. And right now, your emotions are all over the place, and he’s barely keeping himself in check.”
Energy builds and flows around Don, his eyes stare into mine and glow a haunting shade of blue. He quickly removes his clothes. His voice deepens to a harsh growl.
“Don’t run.”
And then he changes into a monstrous horse, at least 18 hands high at his shoulder and built like the largest of draft breeds.
There is just so much of him, I don’t even know where to look first. His eyes, the same deep blue with flecks of dark green, contrast sharply with the rest of his face.
His coat is as dark as a night with no moon.
his mane, full of wild waves, drapes along his massively muscled neck.
A large Roman nose ends in flared nostrils.
But his mouth is all wrong, lips pulled back much further than a normal horse, as if his jaw would open and swallow prey, not grass.
Razor sharp canines protrude past his lower and upper jaws.
God, what kind of mythical creature is he?
He paws the ground with his massive four toed hoof, which is more claw-like, as if preparing himself to charge.
He snorts and paces, his eyes never leaving me.
And as if in answer, what had shied away inside me earlier perks up again.
A desperate whine escapes my mouth, and my body bows.
Whatever is inside me desperately tries to break free at the sight of him. Not to run from him but to him.
His head rears up as he hears my whine of pain, of longing. My hand involuntarily reaches out to him.
Mate, my mate…
I hear chants in my head, over and over. As if he can hear it too, his control snaps, and he charges toward me, his hooves thundering over the soft grass. He is coming for me.
Cam breaks my eye contact, scooping me up as if to run, but my body has a mind of its own, and Istruggle against him, desperately trying to get to Donovan.
“Cam, let her go. She’s going to hurt herself trying to get to him. He’s in control, I can feel it.”Brent shouts and Cam immediately puts me down, backing away quickly as Ilunge forward.
We reach each other at the same moment. Don bows his mighty head down towards me.
My arms attempt to circle his neck, but don’t come close to reaching.
I surely would dangle off the ground if he decided to lift his head higher.
He towers over me, but he cradles me close to his body, nudging me closer with his chin resting along my back.
Deep chuffs leave his mouth as if trying to soothe me, sensing the turmoil that rages within me.
I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.
His deep voice whispers in my mind. It’s like a warm, comforting blanket.
I don’t understand anything that has happened, and I can’t explain why I feel this overwhelming need to be with him.
I just know, and as I press my body against his, a small door inside my soul quietly unlocks and releases a little bit of myself that has been hidden away.
A small, quiet song spills out of me. I didn’t know I could sing, let alone know the words, but I know the feelings it provokes.
The words of this song are about coming home.
Don’s body shudders against me, muscles rippling.
Astonishment and wonder trickle through that link in my head and know it’s from him.
As my song builds, songs of beasts join me.
A stallion’s trumpet, a roar, a loud screech of a bird of prey, and a howl all join in.
All the while, Don’s beast stands here with me, soaking in the haunting melody, bracing me against his chest with his large head.
The song slowly fades, leaving a feeling of hope and of loss.
As the final note stills on my tongue, my world goes dark, and I collapse at Don’s feet.