Chapter 14
Lobikno and I didn’t speak for the rest of the journey to the fortress. Keeping with non-verbal communication really had helped prevent tempers from flaring. So did maintaining a certain amount of space between us. It allowed me to rationalize that Lobikno was my ally and not an obstacle. Though I worried about how effective he would be after his panic by the spring. He’d never had an episode out of the blue, that I was aware of, and I couldn’t help but consider him a liability.
We easily avoided the outer patrols by virtue of having occasionally worked them, aware of the weaknesses, and came upon the fortress gates before dawn. It was my first glimpse of them since the first thaw signaled the coming of spring. A surge of unpleasant memories bubbled to the surface of my thoughts, leaving a heavy knot in the pit of my stomach. An unwelcome addition to the weeks long throbbing pain in my chest. The woodland people had done an excellent job of healing my mental wounds, but there would always be things that brought the old pain to mind. Particularly after five years of refreshing those memories and gaining new ones.
The lashings the adult males received when the general came with her entourage of clergy to remind us of our place. The beatings the adult males then doled out to remind the boys of their place. Cruelty trickled down, passing the pain and suffering along drop by bloody drop. And the only escape was a vicious climb up that miserable chain or death.
I hated that place and what it did to us. Not everyone embraced the cycle, but the ones that did—with a song in their heart—were murderers, rapists, and merciless sadists.
And they have my Ozanna!!cried my inner animal.
And with that, the burning in my chest turned into a writhing beast. Something vicious and foul with gnashing teeth and tearing claws. It ripped at my insides and left me breathless for a moment.
Then came the thump-thump of Emma’s blessing. The sullen little monster recoiled and withdrew its claws … for now.
I tore my gaze from the gates and glanced at Lobikno. There was dull weariness there in his eyes—haunted by his own memories, no doubt.
“We should get some sleep,” he murmured and retreated farther into the shadows of the pre-dawn forest. “No good now.”
The sound of his voice grated my nerves, but the small, barely rational part of me knew he was correct. We needed food and rest before setting out to destroy our older brother. Rushing in would not bring Ozanna to safety.
We camped in the forest, well beyond the patrols. There moss grew thick and dense beneath oversized fern fronds, carpeting the ground for as far as the eye could see. If not for the chill, we could have slept comfortably without our bedrolls.
Once settled a reasonable, safe distance from one another, I resituated the scrap of Ozanna’s kerchief to lay closer to my face and pulled my silver chain out from under my shirt. All the ornaments and beads on it carried subtle magic charms, created years ago by my adoptive father. There was a cloudy green crystal that, while it didn’t render me invisible, would keep anyone perceiving me from realizing that they did. Lobikno was too far away to benefit from the effect, but there wasn’t much I could do about that. I activated the charm with a touch of my will and waited for sleep.
The burning, writhing thing in my chest settled too. It curled around my heart and slumbered, reluctantly accepting the necessary rest after it’s chastising. Irnon’s gift had not been an easy companion, but once Lobikno explained what it was, I was able to … not reason with it, but redirect it with the help of Emma’s blessing.
Dealing with the conflicting energies was exhausting in every sense, but at least that meant sleep came easily.
We rose at dusk,ate and warmed up our cold, stiff bodies before approaching the gate.
The bitter, angry creature within me made its churning presence known, but stayed its claws. I found myself energized. The promise of an end to this nightmare propelled me forward. There was no doubt or hesitation in my step, because Irnon’s gift had disposed of them. It approved of my plan, which naturally meant what I was about to do was immoral. It also whispered promises of power, a boon to my natural abilities if I allowed it to sate its bloodlust. While I didn’t trust that it could follow through on those promises, I hoped it might at least provide a placebo effect.
So, I let Lobikno lead the way to the clearing outside of the gate. His plan for a duel was better than anything I’d considered, the only flaw being which of us would issue the challenge. He wouldn’t be swayed on the matter, so I hadn’t tried. I just had to hope he could forgive me.
With the moment upon us, the vicious little monster in my chest twisted and bared its teeth, urging me to let go of my restraint, to draw my sword and cut down everyone between me and my mate. I found myself stalking Lobikno instead of following him.
The sentries at the gate watched our approach, waiting for us to get close enough to identify. They went for their weapons when they realized who we were, and the moment Lobikno took a breath to call out, I snaked my arm around his throat and cut off his air.
“Tell Dulanzo that Lhoris is here to challenge him!” I blurted before Lobikno could shake his surprise and slip from my grasp. I released him and met his gaze when he spun to face me, mayhem burning in his eyes. I shrugged. “I never agreed to anything, brother. I’ll soften him up for you if I don’t win.”
Lobikno shoved me, spat on the ground, and proceeded to curse me up and down in three different languages. Once he’d said his fill, he walked away, chest heaving. He stopped a dozen yards away and turned his face up to the fading sky and started a breathing exercise I’d once taught him. Long slow breaths in, long slow breaths out with pauses between.
The clawing monster in my chest railed at the thought, so close to our goal, and tried to take my mind. It felt like a smoldering coal behind my eyes, but Emma’s power thump-thumped once more and the pain receded. I rolled my shoulders back and tried to relax the tense set of them. It took some time for the breathing to combat the discomfort driving me to recklessness, but the fire behind my eyes gradually settled to something I could think around.
With Irnon’s gift quelled, it was just a matter of waiting for Dulanzo to respond to my challenge.