Chapter 23
Oshruli and I watched the sun rise. It was like seeing it again for the first time. Though I was a young adult when I’d been exposed and rationally understood that the other elves came back from their outings unscathed, the conditioning we’d received as small children still left me frightened. But Oshruli had me this time and borrowed my confidence that it wouldn’t harm us.
When the sun was more than a mere sliver on the horizon, the colors started to shift and bold shades of orange and pink spread across the sky, turning the clouds a warm shade of gold. Oshruli took off the shadow glass and blinked through the watering of his eyes to see the true colors. Mouth hanging open, his skinny little body relaxed in my arms. But I don’t think it was just the sun that left him in awe. The surface world was full of color compared to the compound. And movement, and sound … and life. There was just so much to see of it from the top of the promontory.
Tree tops of green and the various colors of autumn washed in the shades of sunrise. A small distant lake that reflected the colors in blinding little twinkles. And the wind that occasionally picked up enough to blow our hair around. He occasionally covered his ear tips, as if trying to sort out the vast amount of life and magic flowing around us. There wasn’t nearly as much of it to detect in the tunnels, so far removed from the surface.
“Careful,” I teased, “if you let your jaw dangle open like that a bird might fly in and shit on your tongue.
He jerked in my arms and shut his mouth. “Eugh.” Then he paused. “What’s a bird?”
I sighed, resigned to the fact that I’d be answering these perfectly reasonable questions for a very long time.
There didn’t seem to be many birds in flight. They must all still be warm in their nests, not quite ready to start their day, lucky bastards. I sniffed the air and started walking. “Let’s see what we can find.”
We made our way down to the little lake. I thought I might have smelled duck wafting from that direction. And there were a few to see, though they were in the hands of some hunters.
It looked as though they’d caught what they needed already, maybe having made their start before dawn. They probably caught the birds where they roosted on the ground. No doubt these men had other work to attend to during daylight hours. I shushed Oshruli while we hid among the shadows of the underbrush. He very much wanted a closer look, but I wouldn’t approach.
While we’d never received a warm welcome, we had also never received a violent one. If I were alone, I might have tried talking to them, just to see their reaction.
“I heard the black elf is slipping,” one of them said, plucking rough handfuls of feathers from the dead duck on his knee.
“Yeah, me too. Guard at the tavern said they’d rousted a few highwaymen last week,” said another. He didn’t bother to pluck his kills. They were draped over his shoulder, webbed feet tied together.
“Eh,” said the third man. “The elf goes off from time to time, don’t he? Probably out chasing cunt.”
“He don’t have to chase it,” the first man said. “The way the women talk it falls in his lap. Hazard of the job or somethin’.”
“Maybe you should go play hero,” the third man teased the first. “Get yourself a wife that’ll pluck the duck for ya.”
The first man grumbled and ripped the last handful of feathers off. “It’s good enough to cook tonight. Lets go, we’re wasting daylight.”
The three men left the lakeside, off to whatever labor they needed daylight for.
I led Oshruli to the lake and picked up some of the green and brown flight feathers the hunters had left behind. Oshruli inspected them and asked question after question. After question. And there weren’t even any ducks.
“We will see a bird before long,” I said after a while. But Oshruli was tired. He rubbed his eyes and was increasingly frustrated by the lack of ducks. He pulled his shoes off and laid face down on the ground.
“It’s too bright now, ahba,” he complained.
I undid the top few buttons of my jacket and tucked him in against my chest. It was a snug enough fit that he didn’t slide down at all.
“You can close your eyes,” I said and started at a brisk pace back to the little hideaway. “Rest.”
It didn’t occur to me that I’d left the two horniest people I knew alone together until I was almost back to camp. They’d had a hard time of things, but could I trust that I wouldn’t be walking in on something I didn’t want to see? Again? Only when I reached to check the bond with Oz did I realize that I’d finally blocked it out. The time with Oshruli had been so distracting that I hadn’t struggled with it. But I poked at it anyway to make sure she was ok and detected a frantic tug.
“Ah, shit,” I scowled and hustled to camp.
I slowed my pace when I heard Oz’s voice. “If you let me go, we can go find Lobikno and he will know what to do.”
Lhoris’ answer was muffled.
“Ozanna?” I called.
“Lobikno!” she called back, sounding relieved. “Thank the Mother! Get over here, Lhoris needs you.”
“Eughhh,” I groaned. “No, Oz. That’s your job!”
“Oh, for pity’s sake,” she grumbled. “He’s unwell, you ass!”
“Oh,” I said and started walking towards them. “Lead with that next time.”
I found Lhoris on his knees more or less trying to insert his face through her navel.
“I think I figured out the problem,” she said with a rueful half smile. “He doesn’t know how to do the current thing …” she trailed off, waving her hands over him in a near panic. “He doesn’t know what to do. He won’t let me go.”
I stood there with my hands on my hips staring at them, dumbstruck by what she was saying. “Well, shit.”
“Agreed,” she nodded. “Now please, do something?”
How could he have known? Between the torment of Irnon’s gift, the bond from the miscarriage, the whole near-death experience, and, most importantly, believing he wasn’t the father … how the fuck could he have known that aching pull was his baby calling for him?
My mouth went dry when I moved to stand behind Lhoris. “It’s pretty instinctual,” I said, not exactly to Oz or Lhoris, but part of me knew it was a good thing to say. “A lot of elves need someone to syphon their current the first time they try to draw it out.”
You could learn to do more with it, but that was for those with uncommon talents. I hadn’t learned how to do it until there was a pregnancy to tend, which had unfortunately been one of Dulanzo’s little pets ... a community project. She didn’t cry when it was my turn to hold her belly. I didn’t mistreat her, just let her stare at me with her blinking, listless gray eyes …
I stopped breathing for a moment and shoved that thought as far away as I possibly could. This would be important to Lhoris. I couldn’t let the bullshit of my past intrude on one of the few meaningful moments I could share with my little brother. If he was still in the woodlands with the Pernala’s, his foster father would have prepared him for this role. A role I might have realized needed filling sooner if I hadn’t been so intent on keeping away from Oz.
“Lobikno,” Oz said, her wide eyes set on Lhoris. Her shaking fingers combed through his hair in an attempt to soothe him. “Please?”
“Yeah,” I nodded and put my hands over his and nudged his left hand with a little pulse of my magic. It passed through and caught the very edge of his current and pulled it out. He twitched in surprise. I caught my little pulse of energy in my right hand and took a few steps back.
“You just make sure you catch it with the other hand, so you don’t lose more than you need to,” I cautioned. “If there’s two babies in there, she probably can’t keep up with the demand for power.”
“Two,” she winced. “I was okay until you said it, Lobikno. Two? I thought Zelfek was full of shit when he mentioned the possibility.” And then she covered her face in her hands and started to fucking cry, of all the ridiculous things. “Why’d you have to say it?”
I wasn’t fucking ready for any of this. I’d managed to keep myself calm through our earlier talk but to be blindsided by this little complication … and then ... Tears were always followed by beatings. Angry, terrifying tears. My old survival instincts kicked in and I checked the bond to make sure Oz wasn’t angry. She wasn’t. Just sad and scared.
She isn’t going to hurt me.
“All the shit we’ve been through, and the thought of twins is what breaks you?” I asked in an incredulous whisper.
“I’m not broken,” she sobbed. “I’m just a person and I might be carrying twin sibling cousins.”
I blinked at her and scrunched my nose while I thought about that. “Well, when you put it like that ...”
She gestured at me, “See, you get why it’s upsetting.”
My face heated. “It’s not like there’s any incest involved.”
“No, it’s just …” She sputtered. “… incest adjacent.” She moaned in misery.
I pressed my lips together to stifle the giggle that wanted to bubble up. “That’s a little dramatic,” I snorted.
“Don’t laugh at me,” she grumped, but she stopped leaking. “I’ve had a day.”
“Doesn’t appear that cuddling has helped,” I taunted.
She gave me a flat look and went back to stroking Lhoris’ hair. “Is it working?” she asked. “It feels right.”
I didn’t think she would be able to sense it. “Yeah, it’s flowing and he’s catching it on the other side.” I explained. “It goes in a loop, round and around.”
She nodded. “Will he be better soon?”
“I suppose,” I shrugged. “He’s been pretty beat up the last few weeks. Who knows how long he’s been ignoring the call,” I explained. “We will get ahead of it now that we know what’s going on. It’s less of an interruption if we get on a routine with it. Then you can anticipate and plan around it.”
She’s not hurting Lhoris, she won’t hurt me.
“Okay,” she nodded. “I like having a plan.”
“Same,” I agreed. “Look, you know I don’t … I’m not scared of you,” I said knowing exactly how dumb it sounded. “I just can’t shake the conditioning to be scared of this.” I gestured vaguely at Lhoris.
“I know,” she nodded. “I won’t do anything you tell me isn’t okay. Just say the word.”
I groaned in frustration. “Why do you have to be so … nice?” I grumbled and ran my fingers through my hair.
“Oh, that part isn’t optional,” she said, words dry and aloof. Which sounded stupid because of how stuffy she was.
“I liked you better when you were tied up all the time,” I grumbled.
“Wasn’t that more work for you?” she drawled.
I couldn’t argue that.
Lhoris’ hands finally relaxed.
And so did I.
Something warm and wet dripped down the front of my shirt. I peeked in my jacket and found Oshruli drooling.
“I think it’s past his bedtime,” Oz explained. Then her brow furrowed. “How do they keep track of time underground?”
I gave her a flat look and sighed. “I thought I’d get a break from the questions now that he’s asleep.”
Oz rolled her eyes and ran her nails gently over Lhoris’ scalp. “Lhoris, are you feeling better?”
He just hummed against her stomach.
“Use your words,” I grumbled.
He lifted his head. “Yes,” he said in elvish.
Oz’s eyes lit up. “I understood that!”
“Wonderful, we’ve all learned something today.” I moved around to where I could see his face. His pupils were huge considering the light. He must have been in a lot of pain to be high at the lack of it. “Do you think you can move?”
He smacked his lips and blinked slowly. “I think so?”
“Good, I think we all need a rest.”