Chapter 18 Kyzen
Kyzen
The flip-flopping pattern between building and breaking tension has me on edge.
My hands continuously find their way to Thayla’s back to control the twitching, or I discreetly place them under my thighs. I don’t want any of them to see me shove them in my pockets and think I can’t control myself.
I can.
I’m just still…struggling.
Especially being here of all places.
The effect this is having on Creed has the tempting voice in my mind telling me to go end them all.
All the gods who steered him wrong when he was younger.
All the souls who taunt him.
When I say the voices of the people I’ve killed haunt me, I know it’s my mind playing tricks on me. The voice that whispers deadly desires in my ear is only a darker part of my consciousness that I don’t like to recognize.
It’s never been clearer to me than right now, he’s meant it every time he’s said the souls talk to him.
“Why haven’t you told us about this?” Amick asks, and Creed glares at him.
“What would you have had me say, Amick? Oh, guys, by the way, I have a large swirling pool of souls. It’s mostly blackened because they’re rotten, but some shades are gray, and some even grow whiter as they earn redemption?”
“Yes. I would’ve preferred you tell me exactly that. I’ve been worried this entire time that they’re somehow trapped inside of you, and the most worrisome concern here lately was they were close to Thayla’s.”
“Thayla’s soul is woven to Creed’s? What about the rest of yours?”
We all spare Doren a glance, then get back to staring at Creed. He won’t look at any of us.
“Creed,” Thayla murmurs as she lays her hand on his forearm.
“They aren’t trapped inside of me or attached to my soul like hers is, but yes, there’s a string of connection from me to every being locked in this place. Can we fucking drop this until we get home?”
Holy shit…
No wonder he seems heavier every time he comes here. His soul, maybe even his power, is probably pushing the absolute shit out of him to do away with the ones disturbing him.
We all have so many questions, but his bark has us all falling quiet. Well, of course, except for one.
“Don’t,” I mumble and shake my head at Amick.
His forehead wrinkles as he stares at me, but he keeps his mouth shut as our wheels bounce up and down.
We’ve barely rolled to a stop before Creed’s shoving from his seat and slinging the carriage doors open.
Thayla doesn’t hesitate to chase after him, but Riven, Amick, and I allow the others to go first.
“Oh my. I’m so nervous. Nero, Sevryn, how are the two of you feeling?”
My lips curl in tight as I bite back a small snort. Riven doesn’t. His chuckle settles in my chest, making it even more difficult to hold mine in.
Doren is exactly as Thayla described him the day he gave her the Binding. He’s socially awkward, but not in the same sense as Amick.
Where my brother doesn’t care to fit into the conversation, Doren seems determined to always have one flowing. Even if his words and questions are a little eccentric.
He may not be able to help it. After so many years of being away from society, he could just be desperate to carry on and relate to people once again.
Regardless, I honestly like the guy. He doesn’t give me any bad feelings, and everything that comes out of his mouth seems genuine. He doesn’t even know his entire Valtrue yet, but he’s already painted them out to be the greatest people in his life.
I honestly hope for his sake that he isn’t about to be crushed.
Nero claps Doren on the shoulder. “Everything’s going to be as it should.”
I’m still not sure what to make of him. It’s not that I get any bad vibes from him, but it isn’t comforting that he works and lives incredibly close to the gods we all dislike.
“Right. So right you are. Sevryn?” Doren asks with an encouraging smile.
Our poor old friend. I’m not sure how he’s going to do with the constant positivity and openness.
He looks both disgusted with Doren’s sincere concern and guilty because he doesn’t have a good enough reason to continue being an asshole toward him.
“Let’s get this over with. I’m ready to get the fuck home.”
“Yes, I am as well. I can’t wait to meet Yemi.”
Sevryn balls his fists at his sides.
“Come on, lover boy. Let’s find your last Valtrue member’s soul.” Riven giggles as he skips ahead to catch up with Thayla and I sigh as I grip Sevryn on the shoulder.
I allow Doren and Nero to follow along before I speak.
“Don’t feed into him. You know he’s doing it on purpose.”
“Yeah, well, this isn’t something to fucking tease about.”
“This is the perfect thing for Riven to pick about. Despite the God of Discovery’s spunk in regard to this predicament, I believe he, and possibly Nero, are reasonable men. Perhaps you should express your feelings and concerns prior to returning to Yemi,” Amick adds.
“Oh yeah? And what would you advise I say?”
“The truth. Or at the very least, ask them what their intentions are. I get this sense that you look at our Valtrue and assume yours is going to follow the same mold. You may be getting bothered by nothing. What’s the point of that?”
“To prepare myself. What if we get back home and they declare they expect a relationship?”
“Then you simply tell them they get to expect nothing. Just as you shouldn’t. It isn’t any of your decisions, but Yemi’s. She is your Binder, your center, the one who makes you whole.”
Sevryn’s face clouds with something other than the anger he’s shown so far in this little adventure for his Valtrue.
“Has she said something to you already?” I ask.
“Not explicitly. She just jumps down my throat anytime I’ve talked shit about the men we don’t even know, but are going to spend our damn lives with.”
“Aww, well, come on, man. You can’t be doing that shit. Like Amick just said, she’s your Binder. You’re going to keep talking trash and she’s going to wonder what she did to be paired with a bunch of worthless men. You’re going to give her a complex about herself when really, it’s your insecurity.”
“That’s very wise, Kyzen.”
“Thank you.” I smile at Amick, but the gesture fades when I turn back to Sevryn.
“Fuck…you think I’ve already done that, and that’s why she’s been getting so defensive over everything I say?”
“Possibly. Has anything else happened?”
He grunts but doesn’t have time to respond when Thayla yells at us to come on. I didn’t realize they were all gathered together at the stone wall, waiting for us.
By the time we reach them, it becomes clear this isn’t just a wall at all.
Carved into the stone is a door that’s decorated in intricate, chiseled patterns. Familiar power pulses around it, and I eye my brother.
“No harm will come to any of you in here. Just stay where I tell you to and you’ll be fine.”
Thayla glances over her shoulder at us with worry creasing her features as Creed slides the stone seamlessly into the wall.
Amick grips the few inches of slab sticking out as we pass it by, giving it a few pushes and pulls. It glides in and out easily and he hums a quiet, “Interesting.”
His curiosity grows as we make our way into the dimly lit chamber and my unease deepens with every step we take.
Soon enough, we’re all standing in an empty room, facing what looks like a body of water. It stretches so far into the distance, I don’t see an ending.
Torch flames flicker on the surface, dancing with the subtle current, and I scan their placements. Besides them, there are no carvings, decorations, statues, or anything personal in this room. The only thing other than smooth stone is the two archways that I assume lead down hallways.
Creed’s eyes glow white as he stares at the water with pure, unfiltered disgust.
“About time you came to clear the clutter.”
Our group whips around in defensive positions as a man appears in the threshold of one of those arches.
“Zareb,” Creed says as he tilts his head just a bit.
The god doesn’t bristle or budge as we all put our weapons away. He keeps his attention solely on Creed. Much like the High Chancellor, there’s an air of authority and superiority that surrounds him.
Whatever his role is in this place, it’s given him a complex that has him believing he’s above all.
Even Creed.
“The time between your visits has grown longer. Now you’ve brought an entourage with you to fulfill your duty. What’s the meaning of this?”
“Watch the accusation in your tone. I don’t answer to you.”
“Of course not, but you have placed the responsibility on me to keep the souls contained. How do you suppose I continue to do that effectively if you aren’t keeping up your end of our agreement? I’m only one god, restricting thousands of souls. Some of which should’ve moved on long ago.”
“I didn’t place an extra responsibility on you. Only asked that you keep the one you’ve always served. I’ll take care of—”
“Is everything okay, sir?”
“I told you to stay in your chamber,” Zareb barks, but the newly arrived god doesn’t move.
His calculating gaze scans over each of us, and I catch the smallest amount of hope flicker in his eyes.
“Get back to your—”
“What’s your name?”
Thayla’s tone silences the room, and she intently observes the random god. She obviously picked up on his body language as well.
It isn’t only the way he’s standing that’s making discomfort settle in my stomach. He’s dressed much like Zareb is. The gods who are here and are allowed a role to earn their redemption are supposed to be dressed in an identifiable uniform.
Not robes.
“Attendant, ma’am.”
Shock races through each of us and my power shoots out of me at my command. Everyone but my Valtrue freezes.
“What the hell is this, Creed?” I ask.
“I don’t fucking know. He’s allowed help, but no Attendant should be down here. Especially not him. Not only is his soul intact, but it’s pure. Pull your power back so I can find out.”