Chapter 26 Thayla
Thayla
My breath shudders.
The heat from the plate spreads throughout my entire body in a comforting wave of warmth.
It’s quickly frozen over by icy shame.
“Get out.”
My command is weak and raspy. I’m surprised he understood me between the rawness that’s hung around since leaving that…room, and the lack of use in two days.
He did, though.
There’s no doubt about it as he tsks at me.
“Nope.” He smirks, pushing off the wall and stalking toward me like I’m not a feral beast that may attack him.
Again.
“You’ve had your two days, and I have something for you.”
My heart spikes in both hope and horror when he sits on my bed and moves the plate of cookies away from me.
I sit still, mapping out every feature on his face as he pulls his backpack off his shoulders.
The sound of something shattering has me flinching and breaking out of my stare. Light bursts between us, and I squint my eyes against the sudden brightness.
“Nifty little thing, isn’t it? I took two of Vullie’s vials of luminescence and shoved them both in this tube. Crack the two vials together and they create this bright-ass glowing thing. Not to pat myself on the back or anything, but I’m pretty sure I’m the smartest person I know.”
My mouth twitches—almost a smile, almost a sob.
“Now where are your shoes?”
He hops off the bed and heads to my closet, leaving me sitting here in stunned disbelief.
Is he…is this…
“Ah, no worries. Found them.” He bounds back out, with two mismatched running shoes.
I stare at the hand he stretches toward me.
The air stalls in my lungs as he sighs and swoops me off the bed. My body freezes in his arms, unable to move, to react, anything.
My heart thunders in my chest as he walks us out of my back door and panic stampedes through my blood.
“Riven, put me down.” I breathe.
There’s no way he hears me over his singing, and my skin twitches from the pins and needles shooting through my body.
The tree line approaches fast. My fear gets to me faster.
“Put me down.”
Everything falls deadly silent around us as he allows me to throw myself out of his hold. My hands go to my hips as I bend over to breathe and shake myself out.
Then I pace.
Valories…I need to go back inside.
He takes a step to his right, blocking me from getting around him.
Then to the left. Right again. Left again.
He repeatedly gets in my way until I’m snatching at my roots.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I fall still, eyes widening. “I didn’t mean to yell.”
His lips curl into a mischievous smirk that I don’t know if I want to kiss or punch.
Neither.
You can’t do either.
“Yeah, you one hundred percent did.”
“I’m going back inside now.”
I grit my teeth as he gets in my way once again.
“We’re going for a run.”
Chill bumps break out across my skin and my head’s shaking before I completely process his words.
“Absolutely not.”
“Absolutely yes.”
“I’m not—”
He steps closer as his voice drops low.
“We’re going to have a race.” My forehead wrinkles and his smile grows wider.
What the fuck?
He says, “We’re going to have a race,” like it’s the most normal thing in the realm.
Like I didn’t just spend two days trying to remember how to breathe.
Like I didn’t—
No.
Don’t think about that.
“Through the woods to the end of the Veilatara meadow. If you win, we come back here and you can lock yourself away again. Enjoy all those cookies by yourself.”
I should’ve known it was a trap.
Creed doesn’t even wake up this early.
A flicker of something rolls across my chest and I battle to shut it down.
Don’t let the knot unravel.
Don’t let them break through.
My soul has been putting me through a war. One I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to fight.
I don’t want them to feel me.
And I sure as fuck don’t want to risk feeling their emotions.
He gives me that smile. The one that means warning, but of what degree, he’s the only one who ever knows.
Gods. Why does he have to smile at me like that?
He steps a little closer, not touching me, not crowding, but close enough that the hum of his power prickles across my skin, raising goose bumps.
No. Not the tingles. Not now.
He holds his hand out, letting my shoes dangle from his fingers.
“What do you say?”
I stare at them, then at him again.
Figure out the trap, Thayla.
“Why are you doing this?”
His smile shifts from mischief to an understanding that crushes me. My chest hurts so bad, it’s breathtaking in the worst possible way.
“Fear is consuming. Once it gets its jaws in you, it’s hard to break out of its hold, but it’s heavy. It weighs thousands of pounds. Rage runs faster than fear, angel.”
It weighs more than that.
It makes every breath feel like you’re trying to suck a smidge of air through a small crack in stone.
Walking hurts. Showering is impossible.
You can’t close your eyes for too long.
I’m not even sure if I feel rage right now. If I do, it’s different than any I’ve ever experienced before. It’s consuming in a way that makes me…hate myself, not everyone else. Yet, I want to protect myself.
Fiercely.
I can’t deny that there’s something simmering within me. It’s buried deep down beneath a blanket of numbness I can’t shake. Not on the surface ready to blow up at any moment like normal.
I don’t think it’s rage. I don’t know what it is.
“Lift your foot.”
I hold in my gasp as he kneels before me. My eyes blink, then zero in on the light stick thing he’s produced and placed on the ground beside him.
When I focus on him, that breath leaves my lips anyway.
I can’t fall for the sincerity in his eyes.
“I didn’t say I was doing this.”
“You don’t have a good enough reason not to, so just trust me. You win, you get to go back and hide from us in your room.”
I’m not hiding from them.
I don’t dare say that out loud.
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“What if you win?”
This smile is full of premature victory. It takes over his face, and his eyes trap me in a trance.
He isn’t using his power on me or this game he’s playing.
“You have to show that pretty little face of yours to my brothers. No more hiding unless it’s in one of our rooms.”
Everything trembles, yet my foot slowly slides in.
I bite my lip to hold back a whimper as his fingers grip my calf to keep me steady.
One shoe on.
Gods, are you really considering this?
“What are the rules?”
“There are no rules.”
“No. I want rules.”
“Name them then, little burden.”
“You can’t use your power to beat me.”
“I cross my heart and hope to—”
“Don’t. Don’t finish that sentence.”
His lips flatten and my leg twitches with the desire to pull away from him, but his gentle strokes on my ankle hold me hostage.
“I won’t. I promise not to use my power. What other rules?”
Deep breath.
If you’re going to feed into his crazy shit, make the rules.
“Don’t jump out and scare me. No taunting, teasing, or trying to sneak up on me. I need to hear you wherever you are.”
“Done. Anything else?”
You can’t be serious right now.
Why not?
Realistically…what do I have to lose?
“That’s all.”
“Okay, so those rules and a race ran on legs?”
His hands switch sides, but he doesn’t force my foot to lift from the ground. He waits.
“Yes.”
My foot glides in.
He stands, holding the glowing contraption he made between us. His fingers uncurl from around it as he passes it to me like a peace offering.
“So you can see the whole way. The darker it is, the brighter it glows.”
I exhale slowly and my trembling hand wraps around it. It’s pitch-black dark behind me.
You’ve faced darkness darker than that.
“Do you need a head start?”
My narrowed gaze whips up to him and his taunting little smirk.
“You’re underestimating me.”
“I’m not. Just trying to be gentlemanly.”
I scoff and turn from him. My fingers clench the tubing as I stare into the forbidding darkness. Whether it’s my mind playing more tricks on me or not, I swear little glowing eyes scatter about.
My chest expands as I shake my legs out. There’s nothing in there that can hurt me more than what I’ve already experienced.
Everything vibrates within me as I attempt to replace my nerves with courage. It doesn’t work. My knees wobble together so harshly, it’s taking effort to stay standing.
Just turn back and go inside.
He’ll stop me. He wants to play this little game.
Fuck this game. Your bed is safer and the room smells like cookies.
The air out here is fresh and crisp from the dew.
The moon is really bright tonight.
You’ve barely moved in two days.
Ugh. Fine.
Win then you can run back to your room.
“On my mark…get set…”
“Go,” I breathe.
My feet pound against the ground as soon as the permission slips from my lips.
The crunch of leaves and the cracks of limbs echo around me. The foliage continues to tell me where Riven is with every stride.
A few steps behind, but not far.
The air is already burning my nose and lungs. The familiar pain used to piss me off so bad.
I hate running. I hate working out. I hate training.
Always have and evidently always will.
It’s a necessary evil.
That pisses me off too.
Each pump of my arms has the glow stick illuminating my way, and I map my course with every tree coming up in mind. I dodge and weave through the low-hanging branches or those that’ve already fallen.
A few of the prickly vines leave searing scratches against my calves, and I bite back the hisses that try to escape me.
The ground blurs beneath my feet and everything’s aching. I don’t understand how running toward the meadow is both easier and harder than the first time I did it. We’ve already passed the spot I stopped at and Yemi snuck up on me.
Physically, I’m so much stronger than I was that day.
Mentally…I’m crumbling.
I’m brittle like the twigs I’m crushing beneath my feet.
My back muscles pull tighter with every leap and stride. Phantom pain throbs across my skin and I shudder.
It’s not real.
It feels real.
It feels too real.
If I slow down, the lashes will catch me again.
No.