Chapter 29 Kyzen
Kyzen
My head tilts back as the water washes over me, and my hands chase the suds down my body. I don’t stop the small laugh that tumbles out of me when I think about why I’m having to take another shower.
For the past few hours, Riven’s sunk into what I call house-trapped fever. He doesn’t want to leave Thayla, but after all the naps he took today, his powers are fully charged. Restless, he’s been bleeding that energy off by fucking with everyone.
We’ve let it slide because he needs it and because his antics keep pulling smiles and laughs from Thayla.
She needs that.
I need that more than I can fucking explain.
A grunt slips from my mouth as I breathe through the spear of fury that claws up inside me. Every time I think about how she looked when we opened that door to reach her, everything in me trembles.
My power was already riding the surface, and the second she came into view, everything slowed.
Her rage, heartbreak…terror were written all over her face. I replayed that moment over and over during the two days she locked herself away from us.
To my brothers, a millisecond passed before they stepped into that room. For me, I swear to fuck it was a millennium.
She couldn’t see us—couldn’t see anything. The lights were too bright, and the shadows clinging to her eyes blinded her. They faded slowly as she did everything she could to protect herself from the hands reaching for her.
I tried to warn them not to get close yet, but they didn’t listen. They had one track in mind.
I’m not satisfied with just the God of Shadows’ death.
I want all their lives.
The Goddess of Illusion for her contribution to that creation.
Everyone who stepped into our house that night and escorted her from me.
Derivius…may be the only exception.
“Uh, I swear to the Valories I’m going to kill your brother.”
My body flinches and turns from the shrill and slam of my bathroom door, but I force it to relax. I breathe through the spike in my pulse.
“Which one, gorgeous? I got a few of them.”
“Which one do you think? Fucking hyperactive psycho.”
“What did he do now?”
My question leaves my lips on a snort, but the breeze of air that whips through the shower silences the sound.
“Well, look for yourself.”
I peer over my shoulder, keeping my body tilted from her, and my mouth gapes. It takes everything in me to bite back my smile.
“Don’t you dare let that laugh slip free. I didn’t feel like washing my hair again, especially not before we leave.”
Yeah, she’s going to have to.
“How did that even happen?”
A laugh belts out of me anyway when she runs her finger across her forehead and a glop of whipped cream smacks my tile. She watches it swirl down the drain with a fierce scowl.
Damn. I thought him accidentally kicking a drink on me was bad.
“Dickhead tried to get a taste of the dessert Creed’s making and Creed of course wouldn’t let him.
So, like the children they are, they started fucking fighting over the spoon.
A big-ass scoop flew through the air and smacked me in the face.
A cream war broke out when I shrieked and threw it back at them. ”
“So they ganged up on you?”
“No, it was just Riven and his fucking giggle. Creed was hollering for us to stop. I ran away when he wrapped Riven up in his power and left Amick there to deal with them.”
For the Valories, I’m not going to have a kitchen by the time I get out.
“Can I shower in here with you since they’re all preoccupied?”
My chuckle and words die on my lips. The hesitation in my answer has her shifting from side to side and I shake myself out of it.
“Yeah, of course.”
She gives me a small smile, and I turn back to face my shower wall when she strips her clothes off.
It’s okay.
You got this.
Figure it out as you go.
Her hand lies against my shoulder blade and I repress the shiver trying its damnedest to break through my skin. As her fingers climb higher, my power pushes out toward her.
I spin her until her back faces me, then position her just out of the reach of the spray of water.
“Tilt your head back and close your eyes.”
“You don’t have to wash my hair for me.”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to.”
She graces me with a tender smile that tears my chest open. I want more than anything in this damn realm to twirl her in my arms until her bare skin is plastered to mine. I’m dying to lay my lips to hers just as Amick did this morning.
I don’t, though.
I haven’t in days. I’m on the verge of dying from desperation.
My thumb traces her forehead, wiping away the caked-up cream she missed. I rinse out any white I see and I do so without laughing out loud.
My smile lingers as I lather her long hair, and she groans as I massage her scalp. That soft sound rolls into a sigh.
“How do you feel about tonight?” she asks.
“I think it’s going to be nice for us all to get out of the house and see some friends. Why?”
“I’m nervous.”
I hum. “I understand that, but you don’t have to say or talk about anything you don’t want to. As soon as you’re ready to go, we go. Easy as that.”
My lips lie against her forehead for a long moment. No part of me wants to pull away.
Her fingers slowly caress my chest, but I grip her hand and kiss each of her knuckles before lowering it back down. I resume washing the suds out and her body continues to relax as she gives herself over to the sensation.
Her exhale flutters around us when I lean her head back up and move fully behind her. I wring as much water out as I can and place a kiss on her shoulder.
“Good as new. No more cream.”
“Thank you,” she breathes.
My fingers flex against her, holding her facing away from me when she tries to turn in my arms. We both tense the moment she realizes I did that.
I force myself to loosen my grip and clear my voice.
“I’ll be done in just a minute.”
I fully immerse myself under the spray of water and face the wall. My heart thunders in my chest. I know she hasn’t moved out of the shower.
Her gaze is heavy against my spine.
It does unspeakable fucking things to me.
“Kyzen.” Her voice is so low. It’s almost dangerous in its uncertainty.
Fuck.
“Yeah, gorgeous.”
“Why are you being so…weird with me right now?”
“I’m not being weird.”
“You are.”
“I’m not trying to be.”
“Then why won’t you even look at me?”
“I did just look at you. From head to toe.”
Her frustrated groan has me balling my fists at my sides.
“Fine. Then why are you hiding yourself from me? All I’ve seen is your back and your ass.”
“Is my ass not nice to look at?”
She doesn’t feed into me. She doesn’t say anything. The silence slithers across my skin and I can’t help but peer over my shoulder.
Fuck me. And not in the good way.
Her face has fallen and her glare bounces all over me. Her eyebrows draw down in a mixture of confusion and hurt.
“Thayla—”
“Did you not want me to come in here with you?”
“No, that’s not it. You’re more than welcome in here.”
“Then what’s going on? I’m not suddenly a fucking idiot. I can clearly tell when someone doesn’t want to be around me or want me to touch them. You might not be saying shit, but your actions are saying a lot.”
“I swear to the Valories, that’s not the case. All I’ve been thinking about is being around you, touching you, you touching me. I fucking crave it. That has nothing to do with this. I just…I need to finish up.”
Her chest rises and falls as her eyes trace every inch of me she can see. Her soul searches my own. I breathe through all the sensations.
“Turn around.”
I tear my gaze from hers and shake my head.
“Turn around, Kyzen.”
My jaw ticks and I flinch at the desperation in her bellowed command. Each breath she releases is getting more frantic. The emotions that are seeping from her soul are going to kill me.
I was trying not to scare her. Not to make her feel rejected or undesired.
Gods, I desire her, everything about her.
I can’t be the one to put fear in her eyes.
Please don’t fear what you’re about to see.
My chest expands to the point my lungs are about to pop. I barely hear the rushing water over her heavy breaths and my harsh exhales.
Although I’m drenched from the shower, a cold sweat breaks out across my skin as I turn.
Her gasp and the way her eyes shatter pierce me right through the heart.
“No,” she breathes, lifting her shaking fingers to her lips.
I stay as still as I can when she takes an unsteady step toward me.
“No, no, no.”
My soul withers as she reaches toward me and pulls back repeatedly. My throat burns with the need to speak, reassure her, but I don’t. I keep my mouth shut and my hands clenched at my sides until she’s comfortable enough to get close to me again on her own.
“Why…how…are…” She gulps and takes another step closer.
I hold in my twitch and hiss when her finger caresses the first cut across my stomach. There are so many.
Countless little red slices decorate my chest. I really fucking hoped by now they’d be less noticeable.
I wince from her flinch and shriek, then slam my eyes shut. I attempt to control my breathing.
If I slow my heart, it slows the shadows.
“Kyzen…why does it move? Is it alive? Why does it…” she trails off. I don’t know if she’s watching me compose myself or it. “Oh gods. He marked you too.”
A shuddering breath escapes me as she lays her whole palm to my chest. Tremors wreak mayhem across my entire body, and it takes everything in me to stay standing.
Standing still at least.
I want to rip her hand from the infestation on my chest.
I don’t want her anywhere near it.
“He did. He never wanted me to forget that I’m the Killer of Time.”
I didn’t need his mark to remind myself that.
Now, though, every day, I’ll look in the mirror and stare at the sword that pierces through the sunsetter. I’ll watch the line of shadows tick in tune with my heart.
That’s the difference between mine and Riven’s.
Mine ticks along.
Time always moves.
I can’t take it anymore.