Chapter 32 Thayla #2
“I have accepted them. I don’t deny that anymore and because of that, one minute my decision is firm.
I want to learn about them and master them.
Then shit hits the fan and I’m like, never mind.
If I gain control over them, I become more of a commodity for evil assholes.
It’s a real mind fuck that I can’t seem to get over.
My indecision is actually ridiculous and really embarrassing. ”
“It isn’t either of those things. You’ve got to give yourself some grace.
You’ve gone thirty years without power, and they aren’t needed now twenty-four seven.
None of us use our power just to use it.
There’s always a purpose behind the command to call them forward.
You’re going to learn those purposes as you go.
Then, once you learn to identify, control, and command it on your own, they’re going to work even more in your favor. ”
Kyzen grips my knee and I give him a tight smile.
Of course he’s right, but I still fear I’ll never know when or what power to use.
I think that’s my biggest mental block.
There are too damn many to worry about.
“Let’s jump on in before I overthink it.”
“Very well. There are notes and explanations for your power of Seduction and Chaos, but I figured since we’ve already extensively practiced your Seduction and you seem to have gained a better understanding of your Chaos, we’d move on to one of the others.
If you have questions on those, though, we can address them as we go. ”
“Hold on a second. I haven’t felt her power of Seduction in quite some time. Maybe we should give it a small go and make sure she still knows what she’s doing.” Riven chuckles and gives me a wink that has my lower belly swirling.
Before I think about it, I call it forward and push it toward him. He instantly grunts, and his hands fly to hide the evidence that I certainly remember how to put that in action.
My moment of both pride and humor instantly evaporates. The smug smirk on my lips completely fades as I realize what I’ve just done.
“Riven, I’m…I should’ve asked first.”
His brows furrow, then smooth out.
“I give you my unyielding permission to use your Seduction on me, little burden.”
“We all give you our explicit permission to use your Seduction on us. At any time,” Amick says.
Creed and Kyzen express their agreement, and I exhale deeply.
I would’ve felt guilty and disgusting if I’d made them uncomfortable.
Ugh. I don’t want to be a negative reminder to them.
Amick clears his throat, dragging my attention back to him.
“Just so you know, you refuel, feed, whatever you feel comfortable calling it, your power of Seduction through sexual acts. Whether that’s from your own or others around you. Chaos—”
“Save that one for when Riven explains to me how he recharges and what his role is.”
“When Riven does what?” Riven asks.
We ignore him and Amick’s lip twitches as he fights back a grin.
“If I’m being completely honest with you, I’m not sure if you can use the methods from one power and fuel them all or they’ll need to be isolated.”
My lips part and I fail to produce any words back to that. I don’t have to when a hoot and a neigh float through the air.
Seismet, with V perched on his head, trots toward us, and I grin at them.
“One means of recharging will fuel them all with enough…feeding, so to speak.”
“Perfect timing, V. Thank you for joining us,” Amick says, but my attention flies to Kyzen.
He’s staring at me—smugly smirking—basically solidifying my assumption.
“Holy shit,” I mouth and he nods.
That day I destroyed my bathroom, I used a shit ton of Chaos.
Then the two of us had a whole bunch of sex.
I couldn’t even tell the next morning I had used a drop of power.
“Have you both joined us to aid or observe?” Creed asks.
“Both as needed,” V answers, ruffling his feathers in Seismet’s face. I take that as Seismet was planning to say something sassy.
I smile and shake my head at them, then focus back on Amick.
“So which of the other five are we starting with?”
“Consequence. You’ve already experienced it, but prior to understanding all that you know now.”
“Makes sense. I feel like I have a pretty basic understanding of it. Plus, it seems straightforward enough.”
“It is, to an extent, and that’s why I wanted to start here.
It’s a power that has its full intention in the name.
It’s a balance between action and outcome, accountability without cruelty.
Although we may not agree with that as observers or even as the ones facing the consequences.
The Ruler Designation stems from the domain of Consequence. ”
“I’m proud to say that I saw that coming a mile away.” I blow Kyzen a kiss and he presses his hand to his heart.
“Riven, show her where this power truly resonates in her body.”
This is one of the few times Riven complies with Amick’s order easily. His teasing smirk and the way he rubs his hands together have me biting back a laugh.
“Come here, angel. Let me feel you up.”
A snort escapes me as he crawls behind me and spreads his legs on either side of mine. I’ve got half a mind to scoot back until my ass presses firmly into him and see what consequence comes from that.
I don’t as his fingers tickle up my arms and tap in a frantic but playful pattern. He hums as he gets to my collarbone and works his way up my neck.
“Yes, yes. I’m almost there. Hold on for me.”
“Stop it.” I chuckle, but the sound silences when he taps my lips.
“Your wish is my command,” he whispers in my ear and my own hand replaces his.
“It’s in my lips?”
His chest rumbles behind me in silent laughter.
“Your tongue really, but I didn’t think you’d appreciate me shoving my fingers in your mouth. Plus, I was a tad afraid you’d bite.”
The other three match my grin. I most certainly would’ve if he had just shoved his hand through my lips with no warning.
“So, its placement makes sense. I told all of you after what happened in the Court, it felt like my voice was in control.”
“The tongue controls our words. Now let’s try to bring it forward.”
My eyes widen as Amick stands and pulls me up faster than I wrap my mind around actually putting the power to use.
“The thing about Consequence is that you don’t determine the actual consequence.
You warn. It’s a knowing and a release of your power that gives permission to the cause-and-effect cycle.
The outcome is always supposed to be natural law, not moral judgment.
It teaches through results, not fear. Again, though, we may feel fear because we know our actions will have consequences. ”
“I don’t understand that. I kinda chose Mara’s consequence in the Court.”
“You did, but you didn’t understand what you were doing then.
The only time you should ever direct a consequence at someone is when something is done directly to you.
That situation called for it because an offence, technically, had been committed against you.
Then…” he trails off, but clarity dawns on my ass.
“Holy shit. When my consequence had been carried out, natural law kicked in and I faced the consequences from that gargantuan fucker.”
“Yes.”
Fuck. That was an immediate slap in my face.
What if I had done something worse?
That thought makes me shift on my feet.
“What don’t you like about that?” Kyzen asks.
The ever observant one.
“It’s not that I didn’t like that. It makes me a little nervous. Like what happens if I step off that moral high ground and start handing out consequences when people piss me off or do something I don’t agree with?”
He glances at Amick, obviously giving him the opportunity to answer, but my Guider nods for Kyen to continue.
“You won’t, but if you did, then a couple of things would happen. First, your power is going to rebound or resist you. Then—”
“Hold on, rebound? What does that mean?”
He smirks and I narrow my eyes. “There have been times in my life where I’ve been, let’s call it curious, and I’ve attempted to take a peek into the future for the hell of it.
That’s a realmly no-no. My power knows that, I know that, so it rebounds.
Snaps back into me and leaves me with a raging headache. ”
“Okay, so that’s a natural consequence of you doing something you know you shouldn’t?”
“Exactly. Then if you decide to push through that resistance, over time, the power is no longer consequence, it’s judgment and punishment. Your power becomes…”
He trails off, giving me a sad smile and my mind races to finish his sentence, but it isn’t coming to me.
“Corrupt,” Creed grumbles.
Yeah, not what I thought, but I understand that.
“Well, then. So how do I actually use this power then if I’m not deciding or enforcing consequences?”
Amick trolls to the tree line and grabs a stick. When he returns and passes it to me, I stare in utter confusion.
“You don’t bear the responsibility of deciding what someone does or doesn’t deserve. You don’t decide what happens. You decide whether reality is allowed to answer. Draw a line in the grass, right there.”
My eyes track down to where his finger is pointed. He gives me an encouraging push on my lower back and I exhale.
I literally have no clue what a damn line in the grass is about to do.
Regardless, I do as he says. Then I split the blades even more when he tells me to make the line more visible.
“Now what?”
He places his hands on my shoulders and turns me around to face my line.
“You’re not deciding what happens if someone crosses this. You’re only telling reality that this threshold now exists. Focus on that line and call your power forward. When it’s in your grasp, I want you to create a rule for that line.”
“What do you mean a rule?”
“No one is allowed to cross that line.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
Well, okay then.
I gently shrug him off and shake my arms and legs out. My shoulders continue to bounce as I work the energy out of my body, then take a deep breath.