Chapter 36 Thayla
Thayla
Begrudgingly, I’ll admit one of my flaws is being na?ve.
Okay, no. Na?ve isn’t the word. I wish it were.
My real shortcoming is purposeful ignorance. And right now is a prime example.
Ever since the guys stood in the living room, told me they loved me, and I them, I’ve been living with my head in the stars. Nothing could touch me, reach me, or pull me out of the love-struck adrenaline I’ve been riding.
Yesterday only fueled it.
I got an absurd amount of satisfaction out of sparring someone other than Creed. Sometimes it’s hard for me to fight him with my all. Not because I think I could seriously hurt him or anything cocky like that, but because he distracts me.
His power distracts me.
They’re mouthwatering.
It doesn’t help when the others are around, cheering me on. They just add to it.
So going one-on-one with Sevryn and getting the better of him multiple times did wonders for my ego and confidence.
Lusia’s story dampened the mood, as it would anyone’s, but the guys and V working through two more of my powers with me helped curb that.
Coming home, choosing a spot in the house for our plant—Lady Snuggleballs—and then getting fucked four ways to the stars by my men, sent me spiraling straight back into blissful ignorance.
That high crashed the second my eyes flew open this morning.
I wish I could rewind to last night when I was lying naked between them, completely relaxed, and take my declaration back.
In my delusional, everything-is-fine haze, I announced, “Tomorrow everything goes back to normal. I’m going back to the Athenaeum and learning some shit.”
Kyzen, Creed, and Riven laughed. Amick sighed softly and said nothing would make him happier.
Yeah, well, reality is collapsing down on me now, and I don’t want to go.
I don’t want to leave the house.
I don’t want to interact with society.
Sure, I don’t have to talk to anyone I don’t want to, but leaving the house increases my chances of running into someone I really don’t want to.
My hands slide up and down my hips, checking the daggers and holsters I know are there. It felt strange putting them on at first, but after pacing the kitchen for the umpteenth time, I’ve gotten used to them.
“I already told you, you don’t have to go anywhere if you aren’t ready to.”
“I said I’m ready, Creed.”
I slam my mouth and my eyes shut. The snap came faster and harsher than I meant for it to. It leaves behind a heavy silence that’s all my fault.
My head hangs with my exhale. I stop my ridiculous rubbing and perch my hands on my hips.
You’re going to a building you’ve been to plenty of times.
Dickhead isn’t even there today.
Amick reassured you, he isn’t even in the Godsdawn today.
He’s in Valveilious bragging about the Power Worthiness Test taking place in four freaking days.
“I didn’t mean to flip that quick.”
“I know.”
I nod and force my gaze to rise so I can meet theirs.
They’ve been hovering and watching my every move since I jumped up from last night’s nightmare. I appreciate their care, really and truly, but they could do me a solid and chill on the intense, observant stares.
“I am ready. I just…need a minute.”
“Would you like to walk instead of starshooting? Some fresh air would be nice,” Kyzen says.
That’ll give me time to get my shit straight instead of instantly appearing.
“That would be great, actually.”
“Then let’s go,” Amick says, holding his hand out for me.
I appreciate the fact he isn’t verbally rushing me, but I can tell by the stress in his frown, he’s worried about me and about being late.
“Do you need to go ahead of us?” I ask as I lace our fingers together.
My shoulders drop a fraction, and the thundering of my heartbeat slows to a more normal speed when he kisses my forehead.
“No. I’m walking beside you the whole time.”
I give the other three tight smiles as he tugs me toward the front door.
Fuck, I haven’t even walked out the front door since Gladian marched me out.
A shiver races down my spine, and I grit my teeth so hard my jaw cramps.
You’re being utterly fucking ridiculous.
Get over it.
Nothing crazy or catastrophic happens as we pass through the threshold, and I mutter an ‘I told you so’ to myself.
A sense of normalcy engulfs me when my gaze lands on Yemi, Lambrit, Rose, and, surprisingly, Sevryn standing there waiting for us.
“About damn time,” Sevryn grunts.
“What do you mean about damn time? We just decided to walk rather than starshoot.”
He huffs at me, then casts his gaze to Kyzen.
Who’s rubbing the back of his neck.
“I was planning ahead. If you wanted to starshoot, I would’ve come and told them the change of plans.”
“So you assumed since last night when I told you I wanted to go to the Athenaeum today, that I’d want to walk, and you sent them letters?”
He shrugs. “I pride myself on knowing you so well, little goddess.”
I grumble at the smug wink he gives me, although it’s flattering that he predicted how I’d react and prepared accordingly.
Amick pulls me along once again, and his minuscule sigh slips free when Lambrit stops us and tugs me in for a hug.
“I’m happy you’re coming back. It’s been too quiet.”
“We both know you like the quietness, Lambrit.” I chuckle.
“If he had to choose between the quiet and your noise, Thayla, he’d choose the noise,” Rose says as she comes in for a hug next. “Matter of fact, I’m pretty sure he’s been struggling to focus without the background sounds.”
“There’s no way.” I snicker.
“Way. He’s been—”
“Okay, enough picking on me. Why don’t you tell her about your huffing and saying I wish the girls were here every hour?”
She grins, rolling her eyes as she pulls away from me and goes into his arms. My heart hums in happiness when he bends down and kisses her like it’s the most natural thing for him to do.
Gods. They’re so cute.
I hope they get married one day.
“I may have done that. A girl can only hear so much about the divisions of the regions before she goes a little crazy.”
“Lambrit, I know you haven’t been putting her through that,” I tease.
“May we walk and talk?” Amick asks.
Why he even asks? I don’t know because he pulls me along before anyone answers.
My smile lingers on my lips as I peer over my shoulder and watch Riven wrap Lambrit up in a hug of his own. My best friend grins and goes with the flow.
It’s hilarious and endearing to me that out of everyone, Riven’s the one he’s become the closest with. I would’ve bet my life on it being Amick or even Kyzen that he tried to build a relationship with first.
Everyone falls into casual conversations, and I try to pay attention to each one being had. It’s a little difficult to follow it all, though.
My gaze travels over the random gods also taking the path toward the Assembly. Some disappear through starshoots once their conversations end. Some keep heading in the direction we are.
I compare those groups to ours.
They’re a handful of gods, living under the same rules, the same skewed history, expectations, limitations, and responsibilities.
Yet, they’re so vastly different.
They speak freely and loudly without a care in the realm that we can hear the things they’re saying. Not once do they peer over their shoulders. Their lack of concern for who could hear anything they say is concerning.
One of them just told his buddy that this morning at the temple, he prayed to the God of Pride and asked him to show him what more he can do before next year’s Veiling Day.
Fucking pointless.
I want to scream at him not to waste his breath anymore.
The gods don’t give a shit about him. About any of them.
Unfortunately, they give a fuck about us, though.
That’s something I’d do just about anything to change.
“Thayla.”
“Huh? Oh, sorry,” I say as I tilt my head up to Amick, then down at how he flexes his fingers against mine.
Creed clears his throat and steps in front of me, dragging my attention away from Amick’s stare.
“I’m dropping Sevryn off and I’ll be at the Athenaeum in a few.”
“Okay,” I mutter as I peer around him slightly when he pulls me into his chest.
Damn, we’re already at the division in the path that they have to take to the Court.
“I’ll see you soon,” I say after he gives me the realm’s quickest kiss.
My lips twitch at the scoff he aims at Sevryn as he kisses Yemi like it’s some grand goodbye.
They take a few steps away, shit-talking each other the whole time, then they disappear through their starshoots. I send Yemi a saucy smile for that very public display of affection and she flips me her middle finger.
“Let me do you one better.”
That’s the only warning Riven gives me before he wraps his arms around me, dips me back, and devours my mouth. One arm wraps around his neck, while the other stretches out because Amick won’t let my hand go.
My laughter breaks our lips apart and he stands back up, fucking smirking like he’s the gods’ gift to me.
“That’s how you kiss your goddess goodbye. I’ll see you soon.”
With that, he boops me on my damn nose and disappears.
He, Kyzen, and Creed told me they had a few things to do this morning, then they’d all meet at Amick’s office. I’m positive, at some point, Amick told all of them they couldn’t smother me today, so they’re finding random things to do until they come join us.
Normally, I’d be fine with the space.
Right now, I’d appreciate being smothered.
The rest of the walk goes by far faster than I’d like. My footsteps slow and my gaze stays plastered on the doors of the healing villas.
First, I see Lusia Nighly. Or at least the girl my mind and nightmare conjured up.
Next, I see me being escorted through those doors.
My eyes blink away both horrific images and I smile tightly at Kyzen as he blocks my view.
“I’ve got to go through some records, then I’ll be right over, okay?”
“Okay. I’m fine, really.”
He doesn’t return my smile, but he cups my cheek. My lids flutter shut as his lips meet mine.
“I love you, little goddess.”
My sigh pours from my mouth.
“I love you.”