Chapter 2 Thayla
Thayla
They’re the sons of the God of Obliteration.
Impossible.
My eyes fight the darkness attempting to cloud my vision, and I sway as everything within me revolts. Each of them makes a move toward me, but I hold my hands out, shaking my head furiously to make them stop.
Gods, the true power they have.
The power they have over me.
I stagger into the back of the couch, laying my hand on my erratic heart. This is a reality I can’t grasp. A truth I’m not sure I can face.
They’re the sons of the most ruthless Beginning God. The same one who’s responsible for the creation of the Abandon, the Dark Gods who live there, and the silent war dividing this godly region.
Valories only know what else.
It’s not just the Binding on the side of the Abandon that’s made them as strong as they are. The strength and power he possesses flow through their veins.
Fear pulses through every drop of blood in my body.
My mind and heart war with one another.
The bleeding organ in my chest begs me to focus on the positives. They were worried that the pieces of my soul inside them are the key to keeping me alive.
That means they care.
I’ll be okay. They’ll never let me die.
Really? They’re already dealing with an evil, meddling god—their father. Now you’ve dragged in another. You’ll become too much, and they’ll decide you’re not worth the effort…
No one wants to babysit a grown woman forever.
No.
They’ve already accepted a god’s toying with me. Hell, maybe it’s their father. Maybe it’s just one impossibly powerful, evil god.
Also, two of them have professed they want to deepen our relationship. That’s a dream come true, and it’ll strengthen us. Our support for one another will only grow and become more meaningful.
Uh, not necessarily. That declaration came before the soul revelation. The only one of them to express they’re okay keeping your soul is the one who calls you his little burden…
Fuck…what if I am a burden to them?
The whispers in my mind shout over any other helpful reasoning my heart tries to show me.
A real relationship is impossible now.
The power dynamic tilts too far in their favor. I’ve lived with men who knew they were stronger and never let me forget it.
I can’t imagine multiplying that with godly men.
My strange, unruly abilities don’t compare to theirs, and they hold my soul. This truth adds to the power they already have over me.
And…this is still new.
I haven’t seen their worst. What if their worst mirrors their father’s? At any moment, they could decide, fuck the slow release—we want what’s ours.
They could return to the Abandon, and he’d welcome them with open arms if they swore loyalty.
Then I’d either be dragged along…or forced to stand against them.
It’d be four against one.
“Thayla.” Amick’s quiet tone has me nearly jumping out of my skin.
My ragged breaths echo through our living room, but the otherwise silence coming from them breaks through my panic.
There’s no stopping the tremors wreaking havoc on me right now, but I suppress my desire to run. I force myself to focus on him.
None of them have moved from the positions they were in, but the body language of each of them has changed.
My breathing levels out the longer I observe them.
Amick stands tall, posture perfect, chin tilted, and face void of emotion. Except for his eyes.
Those citrine crystal candies ask me something I can’t quite wrap my mind around. Any other time, I’d never have to decipher anything when it comes to him. Right now, though, his message isn’t coming through clearly.
Kyzen’s shoulders are slumped, and his hands are flexing in his pockets. His smile, if I can even call it that, is sad. There’s an acceptance surrounding him that I don’t understand.
I don’t believe Creed is looking at me but through me. He’s so still. There’s no tugging, no sensation spreading through my heart other than my own panic. Deep inside, though, I sense he’s searching my soul. For what, I don’t know.
Riven…I’ve never seen him so clear. He’s shaking in his skin just as I am, yet it’d seem neither of his two sides is lending him a helping hand. Burgundy and blue glare back at me, not swirling but colliding nonetheless. They’re begging me to react so he can be set free. One way or another.
Their fear is as obvious as my own.
The way they froze at the door speaks louder now than it did then. That was true terror. No part of them would ever think about returning to that place, no matter any power promised.
Shit…the things my Valtrue’s been through.
I can’t imagine the reality of that.
Gods, what was I thinking?
The worst…as you always do.
They’ve had every chance to show me cruelty and never have. Even now, with their truth lingering in the air, they wait patiently as I freak the fuck out.
My secrets were accepted with so much more grace.
The way they’re reacting, what they’re waiting for becomes crystal clear, and guilt slices me in half.
They hoped for the best but prepared for the worst. They’re waiting for the rejection—my rejection.
They’ve readied themselves for my fear.
Of them.
Those fears continue to deepen the longer I study them.
In different ways, they each deflate.
Torturously.
You’re letting your own fears fester, and that’s not fair.
You’re hurting them.
Unlike in my past, where I could find a justifiable reason to push someone away, the madness running through my mind isn’t going to work here. I could sit here and rage that they withheld this important information from me, but that’d make me a hypocrite.
Part of me wants to say Seismet was right from the start. We should’ve opened up to one another. The other part disagrees with that because I know myself. Even at times when I want to dismiss or ignore my flaws.
If they’d dropped this on me within my first month here, you can bet your ass I would’ve stayed as far away from them as possible.
I would’ve run straight to Mellcom…just as I always have.
I would’ve forgiven him instantly because this would’ve frightened me more.
Instead, the silent agreement we all made to keep our secrets close, open up at our own pace, gave me an opportunity to get to know them.
There are too many things, situations that have already shown me who they are. My fears, when I push them to the far stretches of my mind, can’t argue with the fact they’re good men.
Good gods, who spent their childhoods being used and groomed to become monsters. They defied those odds.
Kyzen and Amick may not want to explore a relationship with me anymore after this, but regardless of that, I’m not going anywhere.
I’m not going to run away from them or allow myself to push them away.
“I…” My voice croaks. “I’m not going to abandon you. This situation petrifies me, but…the four of you don’t.”
We all startle as a heavy fist lands on the door. A collective release of breath falls from our chests when no one barges in and the knocking stops.
Silence once again fills the space.
Creed clears his throat, and I turn my attention straight to him. He stares at me, breathing hard as though his trance was broken, but I can’t pull any air into my lungs.
He finally nods, but I don’t know if that means he found what he was looking for or not.
“We can talk about this more later. We’re running out of time. Has Derivius responded to you?”
Riven shakes his head. “No. The fucker is picking a piss-poor time to ignore me.”
Kyzen exhales, shaking his body out as he walks to the back of the couch, grabs my shoes, and hands them to me.
“They’re going to come banging on our door again.”
“Who are they?”
“Kira.” He swallows roughly like the name is made of glass. “He’s brought his guards with him. They’re swarming the house, making sure we come out.”
There’s no escape from this.
“Derivius…”
With unsteady hands, I put my shoes on as I wait for a response and simultaneously listen to the guys work out a plan. It isn’t much of one, seeing as we don’t really have a choice or we prepare for a fight, according to them.
Basically, they declared they’d put me in the middle of them, out of sight, and get ready to face him.
“Listen here, asshole, this isn’t the time to ignore us.”
“My, two of my favorite gods calling me vulgar slurs in the span of a few moments. What could I have done to piss you all off today, little troublling? I’m a little busy.”
I huff and ball my fists.
“Well, get un-freaking busy. Do you seriously think Riven and I would call on you for nothing? The God of Obliteration is here, demanding a meeting with us, so some help would be appreciated.”
The silence that greets me again after waiting for a response has me stomping my foot the rest of the way into my shoe, and every colorful curse I can think of falls from my lips.
“Derivius acknowledged me but has gone quiet again. I told him why we’re trying to reach him.”
“We’ve never had a meeting without him present. This is the first unplanned visit, and I can’t stretch my power to the point of seeing how it’s going to go without completely draining myself.”
“So this isn’t the first time you’ve all seen him since you came here?”
“No. At the start, some sort of agreement was made. Every year until we turned twenty, we had to see him once a year at his temple, the day after the Veiling. It was undoubtedly his way of measuring how much power had been released to us. That stopped, and we’ve only seen him once since then. That was twelve years ago.”
Twelve years…so they were twenty-three.
I’m sure so much has changed in them. I’m far from the girl I was twelve years ago. Eighteen-year-old me was going through all kinds of changes.
Kyzen’s cheeks puff out from the deep breath he releases, then he gives his brothers a tight smile. None of them return it, but they nod in acknowledgment.
Great. This is going to be a petrifying and awkward reunion.
I run my hand down my face as though that’ll wipe away all my fears and replace them with confidence I don’t feel right now.
“What do we do?”