Chapter 4 Amick #2
“We…I’m sorry, Thayla. I won’t speak for them, but I promise to do better about explaining my abilities and how I manipulate time. I’m not used to talking to anyone about it. I allow everyone to think what they want.”
“I didn’t say that to make any of you feel bad.
I figured with Creed’s question, you’ve all been assuming I know more than I do.
I still don’t know anything. At least it feels that way.
This is definitely something I’d greatly appreciate you all opening up about, but I won’t force or guilt you into explaining anything. ”
“You aren’t forcing or guilting. We’re passed the point of keeping things like this from you.”
“Okay then. We’ll add that to the list of things to dive into later.” She gives me a tight grin, but the unconvinced, worrisome wrinkles in her forehead tell me something still isn’t sitting right with her.
“I’d rather just dive into you,” Riven grumbles and she cuts her eyes at him.
I hate to agree with him…again, but so do I.
Not waiting to give him the opportunity to tease her or make any more sexual innuendos that’ll confuse her or annoy me, I jump back into what I was saying.
“With Kyzen’s help, I’ll be able to copy the Book of the Gods Binding in a short time. I both read and write at an accelerated speed.”
Her eyes widen. “Do you remember it all as well like the God of Scripture?”
I purse my lips. “Unfortunately, no. If I had more of my power, then yes, I’d be able to. That was an ability I lost when the Veil stripped us.”
My nostrils twitch at Riven’s chuckling, but I hold in my own smirk when Thayla throws her arm across Creed and hits him right in the stomach.
I am very fond of her defending me.
“As I was saying, two weeks dedicated to research. That’ll include that book but also narrowing down the locations we’re going to search.
He made the comment that the sensation she felt was faint, which leads me to believe the Binding is farther away from us.
The only way we’re going to be able to find it is by sensing it.
“I’ll also be compiling a list of gods who’ve left Godsden, who may know something. In a perfect realm, it’ll only take us two weeks to search, find it, and return it here with a month for me to analyze and release our power. I have, of course, calculated room for error.”
The living room falls quiet as they each accept my plan. There’s more that has to be done and decided on, but those are simple things I can work out as we go.
Such as, we all still need to train since we’re no longer going to the Court. We also have to start focusing on Thayla harnessing her unknown power, teaching her how to starshoot and other things she still doesn’t know.
I’ve always loved a challenge that tests my skills and capabilities.
Thayla Godrun and all that she is presents one of the greatest challenges I’ve ever faced.
It’s invigorating.
As though she knows I’m thinking about her, she blows out a harsh breath and gives me a tight smile.
“We’ve got a lot to think about, do, and come to terms with. What’s the easiest thing to knock off our plate?”
That’s very simple and it’ll put her mind at ease a little not having to make any choices.
My body pivots toward Creed and Riven. “I’d like to formally tell the two of you, Kyzen and I are in a relationship with Thayla. One that will grow intimately. We are her boyfriends.”
“What?” they shout as Thayla scolds, “Amick.”
“Yes?”
“What are you doing? We haven’t discussed this yet and I wanted to be the one to tell them.”
“Wait a fucking minute. This is real? They, the two of them, are your boyfriends now? Since fucking when?”
“No. It’s—”
“No?” Kyzen and I ask, which causes the other two to start spouting more questions.
Thayla covers her ears with her hands and pinches her eyes shut. I seal my lips and stare at her as she regulates her breathing.
“Stop talking.”
My low voice travels through the whole house. Even the crackling of the non-heat-producing, pointless fireplace falls quiet. I wait until she lowers her hands before I speak again.
“Did I say something that upset you?”
Her eyes are as soft, tired almost, as the sigh that falls from her lips.
“It’s not what you said, Amick. It was how.
You and Kyzen just brought this up to me, and we’ve had one thing after another come up ever since.
We haven’t had time to think, much less talk about this proposed relationship.
I also wanted to be the one to talk to Riven and Creed about it.
Alone. I can’t accept this relationship if they’re not okay with it. ”
“For now, let’s put this to the side—”
Riven waves Kyzen off as he cuts in. “So you’re saying if I tell you right now I’m not okay with them being your boyfriends, you’ll end this relationship before it truly begins?”
“Can you not say boyfriends like that? Matter of fact, can we not use that term at all? It’s…weird and doesn’t fit us.”
“What would you have me call them then? Life givers, soul harbors, pillow partners? Any of those work?”
“Riven—”
“Don’t fucking Riven me, Kyzen.”
“Stop. This is why I wanted to have private conversations first.” Thayla holds her hands up between them and shakes her head. Her shoulders slump and defeat washes through every one of her features as she turns to Riven fully.
“Yes. If you tell me right now you’re not okay with this, then it stops before it starts. I don’t want to hurt you, Creed, or them.”
“Hurt me,” he barks out in a laugh, then scans her from head to toe before moving his gaze to Kyzen. When his eyes land on me, my blood rushes through my body.
Her words were firm and clear despite the disappointment I sensed. She’s not going to do anything that jeopardizes the foundation of our Valtrue. Which I appreciate, but I want a relationship with her more than I care about pleasing or displeasing my brother.
I’m well aware of Riven’s and my rocky relationship, but I’d never do anything to hurt him purposefully. Sometimes the words we say to one another come across differently than we mean, but our eyes, usually, never lie to one another.
I, against my better judgment, let him see that denying me this will hurt us no matter what. If he makes this decision out of spite or for the thrill of causing a commotion for me, I’m not going to forgive or forget it.
He leans down close to her, cupping her ear and his mouth so I can’t hear his words or read his lips.
When he pulls away, I observe the coloring of her face and the way she rubs her fingers together by her sides. She doesn’t move her focus from him the entire time she thinks, so she misses how Kyzen’s hands are shaking in his pockets and Creed’s shifting from side to side.
“I never said that,” she whispers.
He hums as he takes a step back from her and bows dramatically. “Do as you please, little burden. You have my blessing.”
Her body deflates as he disappears through a starshoot and Creed’s grunt draws her exhausted attention.
There’re no words shared between the two of them, just stares before Creed marches to his room.
I conclude that’s his blessing as well.
“One less thing off your plate, as you put it.”
She cuts her eyes at me and I tilt my head at the frown marring her face. She doesn’t seem all that excited for someone with two boyfriends. Or whatever it is she’s going to deem we’re called.
“I’m going to take a nap. Alone.”
I watch in confusion as she heads to her room and tells Kyzen “not now” when he attempts to stop her. The glare he shoots my way deepens my puzzlement.
“I’m missing something.”
“Yeah, yeah, you are, man,” he agrees as he grips my shoulder. “You remember your whole spiel about how my role in this relationship is to make up for your shortcomings?”
“Obviously.”
“Well, that would’ve been the perfect time to implement that. That was a conversation that needed to be handled delicately, not bluntly.”
“I saw no reason to push it off and have her sit in a state of confusion. This is one thing she doesn’t have to worry about now.”
“I get that, but did you not notice the freak-out she had when she found out our truth? She’s scared, confused, and needed time to think about everything. Did you miss that completely?”
“No, I saw every second of it. Why would that change anything in any sort of way? I would’ve been more concerned if she didn’t have that reaction. Are you concerned she views us differently now?”
“Well…yeah, a little.”
“Then that’s your own insecurity you need to work on.
Just because everyone else who knows who we truly are holds a level of fear toward us, doesn’t mean she’s going to.
I’ve learned Thayla as intimately as I possibly can apart from physical intimacy.
Many decisions she makes are calculated, and fear usually stands in her way only momentarily.
“It’s her survival instinct to think like her life is in danger before she thinks clearly.
She’ll come right back around once the excitement has worn off.
She was already exhibiting her normal behavior by defending me.
As soon as she calms down completely, she’ll already know where we stand and that won’t be an issue any longer for her. ”
He stares at me as though he both understands but is also confused. I’m not sure what’s there to still be confused about.
Yes, she had a moment of panic when she found out who we are. As I said, that was expected, but she gathered herself rather quickly. Given everything going on, she bounced back faster than I thought she would.
If she had run, or verbally, possibly physically, reacted negatively, then what I’m saying would be different. She didn’t do any of that. Therefore, any fear that she may not feel the same way she did about us is null in my mind.
“I see what you’re saying, but it also wasn’t just her feelings we needed to consider.”