Chapter 14 Amick #3
“I know all of those obvious facts. I’m not trying to pull them into our relationship. They already have their own relationship with Thayla. I want them to see it for what it is already.”
His face flinches. “You said she had your blessing to pursue a relationship if she wanted. She hasn’t expressed that any further, so why are you pushing it? Why has your opinion on this changed so dramatically since the first conversation we had about us being with her?”
I sigh out loud for the first time in a long time. The noise has Kyzen’s face contorting.
“When the topic of this first came up, no, I didn’t want them in a relationship with her, but I was also missing a lot of facts and overlooking crucial details.”
I sit in my chair and wave my hand toward Thayla’s for him. He looks at it as though it’s going to bite him, then back at me again for clarification.
My blank stare is answer enough.
“It’s easy for me to work out the logical side of things, but it’s taken me time to see the emotional.
I’m honestly shocked you haven’t put it together yet on your own.
Or maybe you have and you’re avoiding it because you’re still coping with the fact that the woman you’re falling in love with has feelings for multiple men. All of whom are your brothers.”
He grits his teeth and turns his head from me. His hands grip the armrest of her chair so hard, his veins are protruding.
“It’s not just easy to accept, Amick.”
“Is it me you’re having difficulty accepting?”
“No. I accepted our arrangement easily. It’s Creed and Riven.”
“It’s not that it’s easy for me. I struggle with it as well, especially when I see them hold back from her and it hurts her.”
“Yeah, exactly. So why does it feel like you’re getting ready to lecture me into some understanding of why we should be okay with this right this second?”
“Because who else will they ever have? Who in this realm will ever accept them?”
His laboring chest falls still. The long exhale he releases whistles through his lips as every feature in his face falls.
“I’m not saying that as an insult toward them.
I’m saying it from what we’ve already seen and experienced.
We, the two of us, are more easily accepted.
You more than me, but they never are. Prior to knowing about her soul—well, aside from Creed—she matched each of us in a different way.
She didn’t know who we were and still doesn’t know the hell we lived, yet she’s never treated us or them differently.
“We all already fall into a natural dynamic that works. You, at times, go right along with Riven’s flirty nature toward her, then you catch yourself.
Same with Creed. I notice the soft smile you shoot him when he does something small and innocent for her, then again, you stop as if you’re mentally telling yourself he shouldn’t be doing that, or you shouldn’t be okay with him doing it.
“Despite how our brothers act other times, you see the way they watch her. You see how she watches them, cares for them in her own way. Her soul, I believe, has minimal to do with it. It may alter some things, but I don’t truly believe it affects how we feel until it’s completely tied as yours is now. ”
He raises a brow. “Did Creed tell you about that?”
“No. I’ve witnessed the shift, though, ever since it happened.
Your emotions for her grew exponentially after it happened.
Yes, sex can create an emotional connection, but not as instantaneous as I’m witnessing happen to you.
Regardless, what I’m getting at is, their emotions for her now, without her soul being tied irrevocably to theirs, aren’t causing their feelings for her.
“That’s happening naturally because of the way she sees them and treats them. The only difference between them and us is we accepted it a lot faster than they have. If you want to blame it on her soul, then that’s fine as well.
“Consider that entirely for a moment, though. They hold a piece of her very being inside of them. They have a responsibility to protect it just as we do. You believe and expect them to do that without ever feeling something for the woman it belongs to?”
He runs his hand down his face, shaking his head. “No, I don’t. I hear and understand all the points you’re making, but it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around it. The way they act pisses me off. Then they turn around and act just as jealous and protective as us. It’s fucking confusing.”
“Confusing for all of us, but I think you’re putting too much focus on them. Have you not noticed the difference in Thayla since her soul completely attached to yours?”
A small smile slips through the fingers that he has resting on his lips.
“Of course I have.”
“How do you think she’ll feel once all her pieces are finally whole again?”
His eyes whip to mine as though reality has finally struck him. “You don’t think she’ll feel complete or totally happy until her soul is sealed to us all?”
“No, I don’t. Again, though, I don’t believe it’s only her soul’s doing.
Our Binder’s past life that she still hasn’t been completely open with us about shaped her in many ways.
She has multiple sides to her, all of which need to be taken care of one way or another without judgment or question.
Could she and is she happy with the two of us, yes, I believe so.
But I believe she’d be even happier if every side of her was matched and fulfilled without restraint. ”
He closes his eyes as his head bobs up and down. His hand slips from his forehead and lands on his thigh with a loud slap. The war his mind is going through is scripted in his body language.
“I’ve noticed all of this. I’ve even teased about it, but accepting it as a reality is something different.
I don’t know how to explain that part of me is already on board with this, while the other part isn’t going to be fully on board until they get their shit together.
I got to see some change in them, and I’ll need some time to wrap my head around it. ”
“I understand. I started accepting this after observing the way we all reacted to her meeting our father, then I fully accepted this again after you two had sex so I’ve already got this nuance out of my way. It’s a good thing you’re the God of Time and can rush your nonsense along.”
He snorts, but the sound is cut short by a knock at my open door.
“Rising Chancellor, Mr. Kyzen, I apologize for my interruption, but I was sent to retrieve you. There’s a situation in the Sanctum that requires your mediation, sir.”
Kyzen sits up straighter. “What’s the situation?”
“I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t given any details, only instructions to get you and that I’d find you here.”
“Thank you for informing me. I’ll be there in a moment.”
The Attendant gives him a slight bow and leaves my threshold as he stands.
“Well, duty apparently calls. Let Thayla know I’ll be back as soon as I get whatever this is out of the way.”
“I will and don’t fret over what we talked about too much. They still need to straighten themselves out first. Knowing Creed and Riven, it’ll take longer than necessary.”
“That’s a good point. They’re nothing if not hardheaded.” He chuckles as he strolls out of my office.
I can’t help but feel like the tension in his steps is because of me, but it was a conversation that needed to be had sooner rather than later.
Namely, before he witnesses what the forced proximity in the carriage will inevitably do.
The three of them in a room with no escape from one another will push them closer.
I’m very interested in seeing how it plays out.
I check my sunsetter and note the time I have to get work done before I undoubtedly have to go find Thayla and Yemi.
The pages and notes fly by before my eyes, but my mind continues to drift to her as well as my brothers.
Despite everything I just said to Kyzen, I have my own thoughts and worries, of course. Such as, what if I’m wrong? What if I’ve read too much into what she said, her actions, and her feelings end up being platonic?
What if she and Riven do dive into a relationship and it’s explosive in a negative manner?
What if Creed doesn’t truly feel for her the way my observations would lead me to believe and all he does is hurt her?
Our entire dynamic would be ruined.
What if Kyzen can’t accept this, and that puts her in a position to end everything completely?
Then I’m left without her as well.
My biggest concern, the one I like to think about the least, is what if she realizes she can get everything she wants and needs from them and doesn’t need me at all? And I’m the one pushing for everyone to explore a relationship with her.
Is there something wrong with me for wanting us to share the same woman? Why do the logistics of this arrangement come so naturally to me and not my brothers?
Maybe I am as emotionless as Riven claims…
I jerk myself away from my thoughts and stare at the sunsetter that has sixty seconds until my hour mark is up. I count along with the ticks until I can be released from this room and clear my mind.
After the private conversation V had with me, I have a lot to cover with Thayla and that’s what’s most important right now.
Everything else, we will figure out.
I push out of my chair and leave my office as soon as the final second passes.
My first stop is Lambrit’s table. There’s a very good possibility that she walked past him and made herself comfortable in a conversation rather than searching for the list of text I gave her.
I’m only slightly surprised to find him and Rose alone.
“Hey, Amick,” Rose says cheerfully as though I didn’t see her a little while ago.
“Rose.” I tilt my head. “Have either of you seen Thayla and Yemi? I sent them to gather some texts, and they haven’t returned.”
Lambrit smirks. “No, we haven’t. One or two things have happened. One, they’re lost and still searching or two, Thayla talked Yemi into leaving.”
“Option two would not be wise.”