Chapter 29 Creed #3
“No, we never participated. There are also meeting rooms, torture rooms, and other spaces there that our father would use during his…downtimes. So like I said, it wasn’t unusual when we went there looking for him.
“That day, we walked in like we normally would. Spoke to some of our father’s underlings for a few minutes, then walked to the back. Instead of going into any of the rooms, we went out the door and over to the back of the building next door to wait for Sevryn.
“Minutes passed and he never arrived, but soon enough, our father did.
The air shifted, the streets fell quiet, and his laugh bellowed all around us.
We knew then he knew. We could feel it. He called our names, made the joke about wiser friends, told us to come on around, and explain to him what we thought we were doing.
“Panic gripped me. I was sure, down to my soul, we were escaping him, the Abandon, and we’d never have to look back.
Anger swept through that panic, and I refused to give up that hope.
I starshot my swords to me from my room in our father’s house, where I had left them behind on my bed.
I wanted him to find them and for them to be my parting fuck you when he realized we were gone.
I told my brothers I was getting out of there that day, no matter what had to happen.
No one would stand in my way. They agreed.
We decided we were going to fight our way through.
“We came around the corner of the building, powers at the ready. We didn’t expect to see half of his army behind him. Reality slapped us in our faces instantly, but we were quick with a plan.”
“Don’t say we like that, Creed. We know the truth. This part coming, Thayla, I solely planned and put on their shoulders,” Amick argues.
“No—”
“Tell the story,” he orders, cutting me off, and I grit my teeth.
I refuse to blame him. I did that enough in the beginning.
“Riven was to use his harmony to coax everyone in Seductions and around the area to us, then to use his chaos to cause a fight to break out as our distraction. Kyzen was to slow down our father’s men, and I was to kill as many as I could as quickly as I could.
We didn’t just start a fight, though. A literal war broke out.
“Both sides collided with the force of the stars. The air became tainted with the power of our father’s Gods Veil.
He was releasing power to his men faster than we could do anything about it.
It was becoming very clear, his army was going to and was willing to wipe everyone out.
Innocent people were dropping dead everywhere.
I was taking souls that didn’t deserve that fate.
Anyone who touched me, whether by accident or on purpose, was killed.
We were all lost to the fight. Lost to the power and dark fury coating the air.
“Our father suddenly appeared in front of us, attempting to wrap his power around us, and a switch flipped.
No words had to be spoken. We were going to kill him.
He shoved his power out, and we shoved back.
Derivius appeared right smack in the middle of us and hit our father with a blast that sent him flying.
“My power was already flowing from my fingers, ready to collide with my father’s, and I couldn’t snatch it all the way back in time.
I screamed Derivius’s name, and he whirled around, his power already cast out.
He took the hit of my death straight to his eye.
It sent his own power off course, and it sliced me through mine. It knocked clarity back into me.
“It didn’t slow Derivius down, though. He wrapped us in his power and starshot us to the Godsdawn.
I was shocked frozen as he dropped us in the room with the Gods Veil and told us not to move until he returned.
The reality of what we just did settled over me like a bucket of ice.
The black stain on my brothers’ and my souls had already taken root.
“We were willing to and did sacrifice innocent life, not solely to protect ourselves, but to avenge ourselves. We caused a war that killed hundreds, sent the Beginning Gods into another argument, and made the Godsdawn even more of a target for our father’s ire.”
I’m sure there are moments I’m leaving out, and I haven’t even addressed the aftermath. We each had a different experience during that time, and our feelings about the whole thing vary. I still feel hollow.
Gods, the lives I took that day.
“I…” she trails off. Her fingers wiggle against mine, and my heart crawls up my throat when I think she’s trying to let me go.
She doesn’t, though. She readjusts her grip.
“My heart hurts. It hurts for the four of you. I don’t want to upset any of you for what I’m about to say, but I think I need to say it.
I’m not trying to downplay what happened that day by any means, but I think all of you are taking far more responsibility than is yours to bear alone.
I know I’m supposed to say it was wrong of you to kill innocent people because you knew right from wrong by that age, but at the same time, I’m struggling to understand how the people on the side of the Abandon are innocent.
“Aside from kids, Sevryn, maybe this woman named Mazie, and people who’ve been taken there against their will—if that happens—everyone else is choosing to stay over there with your father and receive power from his Veil.
Some may be worse than others, and maybe those others are who you mean by innocent.
Also, something that sticks out to me and doesn’t make sense is, I’ve felt Riven’s chaos.
It doesn’t incite violence on its own. That emotion has to already be present. ”
“My chaos does incite violence.”
“Then why didn’t it do that the other day? The only people who reacted that way were Gladian’s Valtrue. None of us did.”
My eyebrows rise as I consider that. We didn’t react because we’re used to Riven’s power, but now that I think about it, what she’s saying is true. Yemi, Lambrit, Sevryn, Havar, Rose, hell, even her, they didn’t attack Gladian’s Valtrue when we were holding them back.
“Also, did the fight continue even after Derivius took you all out? If so, your chaos wasn’t going to stretch across the whole Godsden to get to the Abandon without the Godsden freaking out. As for the black stain on your souls…” She releases a deep breath, and I hold mine.
“I’m not the master of souls, but I imagine that stain came once your mindsets changed.
Your thoughts went from survival to revenge, and you didn’t care who was standing in your way.
It was a selfish decision made in the heat of an emotional and power-induced moment.
You saw an opportunity, didn’t consider those around you, and tried to take it.
Even though it wasn’t right, I can’t say I would’ve done anything different.
“I don’t feel like I’m doing a good job here using my words.
I don’t know if it’s even coming across right.
I’m trying to point out where you may have gone morally wrong but also defend and show you all I don’t think you should be blaming yourselves as fiercely as you are.
We all do shit that sometimes ends differently than how we wanted or even meant for it to end.
We regret it, but it’s important to own it and you all have.
“I just want to make it clear, I don’t view or think of you any differently. I don’t judge you for the decisions you made to try to escape the hell you were raised in. If anything, I kind of wish I had been as brave as you four and tried to escape my own.”
We were already quiet, but we fall even more silent as we let her words settle into our souls.
It takes courage to tell someone you’re close with that you think they did something wrong. She didn’t excuse our actions, though, and she put it in a perspective I’ve never considered before.
We caused the war to break out, but we didn’t cause it to carry on. I didn’t take a soul that day that was completely pure. Not like hers.
That alone helps ease some of the guilt I’ve always carried.
“Well, now I feel like I upset all of you because no one is saying anything.”
“We aren’t upset. Just…thinking. Time for you to go to sleep.”
Riven’s power washes over us and a massive yawn tumbles out of her. She lifts our interlinked hands up and covers her mouth.
“I don’t appreciate you trying to harmonize me so much I fall asleep,” she slurs, and I add to Riven’s power by caressing her soul.
“Shhhh! Nighty, night. Sleep tight.”
She grumbles something incoherently. It takes several minutes, but her body eventually stops twitching when she gives up the fight against his power.
At least two hours pass and we don’t speak, but I know all three of them are still awake, staring at the stars. The heaviness weighing on our minds lingers in the room.
“Did her words help any of you?” Amick asks.
None of us respond at first.
“Did it help you?” Kyzen asks.
“Yes, but I still fear you all blame me. That’s a guilt I don’t know if I’ll ever shake.”
We’ve each carried a guilt on our shoulders from that day.
I’ve hated myself for calling those swords to me. I basically declared there for my brothers you fight by my side or don’t, but I’m not staying any longer. I’ve felt for all these years I put them in an impossible situation.
Amick’s beat himself up for what he told us to do and fuck, we reminded him of that so much when we first got situated in the Godsdawn.
“I don’t blame you. You came up with a plan in a split second to try to get us out. We made the decision to follow it,” Kyzen says.
“I quit blaming you a long time ago. It was never your fault. I should’ve told you that before now,” I say.
Riven sighs loudly. “We each kept pumping our power. That had nothing to do with you. We could’ve stopped after we did what you told us to do.
At the end of the day, it’s on all of us.
Well, fuck, except for Sevryn. Can’t believe his grumbling ass is innocent.
And yeah, I guess the Binder’s words helped. ”
Yeah, they did…
And fuck, I can’t believe he is either.
I’m actually relieved about that.
A buzz races down my spine as power alights through our whole room.
Divine, raw power.
Gasps sound from my brothers and me as we sit up rapidly, command the lights on, and look at one another.
“The Amethyst,” we say as one.
A piercing scream cuts through the room, causing my heart to jump into my throat and my chest pulls tight. All our attention whips to Thayla as the noise abruptly cuts off, but she’s still panicking.
Her arms and legs flay around as she thrashes in her sleep. There’s no screaming, no panting, nothing as her face turns a frightening shade of blue.
Riven and I grip her as Kyzen snatches the covers back.
Clenched in her hand, an Angel Aura Amethyst glows as bright as a star in the sky. Its power pulses all around her.
Riven pats his pockets down, and his eyes grow wide. “Shit, I was sleeping with that. I thought her little hands were trying to feel me up.”
He attempts to peel her fingers from around it, but it has a grip on her as tight as she has on it.
“Come on, Thayla. Wake up,” I say as I caress her soul, beckoning her to me.
It doesn’t work.
“Tug her soul.”
“What?” my brothers shout.
“Not hard. Not like you’re trying to hurt her. Think of yourself running your finger down her cheek. Nice and easy.”
I grit my teeth at the uncertainty on their face, but it washes away quickly enough, and I sense their souls responding to her.
Come on, my endling, breathe.