Chapter 33 Amick #2
“It’s very possible Yemi was always supposed to be in a Valtrue, but because Sevryn was in the Abandon, then in Hellveilious, his essence didn’t mingle with our Binding until he stepped foot in the true—maybe not true—but Valories blessed part of Godsden.
Since he didn’t give the Beginning Gods a chance to mix up his Valtrue, they naturally paired. ”
I tilt my head at her words. “As sound as that may be, it’s a tad bit—”
“Very good, Thayla,” V cuts me off to say.
“Oh my gods, I’m right?”
“You are. As soon as Sevryn stepped across the God of Boundaries’ barrier surrounding Hellveilious, his essence traveled through that lingering power, into the Gods Binding.
It sifted through the matches, and then the Binding gave it back.
Their marks appeared because all members of their Valtrue have had powers released. ”
Thayla, Creed, Riven, and I stay silent as we stare at V, but Kyzen grunts, staring off into space.
“Something you’d like to add, Kyzen?” V asks.
He blinks repeatedly and shakes his head. “No, just mulling over that.”
I bounce my gaze between them, noticing how Kyzen’s fingers flex under the water for a moment.
Interesting. He’s not the brother I expect to ever hide things from us.
Thayla covers her mouth as a large yawn breaks free and her eyes are glossed when she opens them once again. Obvious exhaustion settles over her the longer she sits here in the relaxing heat and it’s only a matter of time before she gives in to the call of sleep.
Somehow, with perfect coordination, as if we timed it, my brothers and I stand as one, and each make our way out of the bath. Kyzen grabs a towel and holds it open as Creed lifts Thayla over the side.
“I can do it on my own,” she groans, but the moment he releases her, her knees almost give out.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“Asshole.”
He rolls his eyes and smirks behind her back as Kyzen wraps the towel around her, but I step up and unbutton her pants.
“Not sure I got that much energy left in me, Candyman.”
My brothers snort, and I know she’s teasing me, but I pin her with a meaningful stare. “Even if that was my intention, I’d allow you to do nothing but lie back and enjoy it.”
“That would be my cue to leave you all be. Call for me after your nap, Thayla girl.”
V hoots as he leaves the bathroom and I return her smirk with a coy one of my own. I slip her wet pants and underwear off her legs as Creed unhooks her bra, then proceeds to lift her.
“Did any of you pack a long-sleeved shirt?” I ask as I walk out of the bathroom behind them.
“I did,” Riven grunts and I nod.
“Fetch that and some sleep pants for Thayla. I know for a fact she didn’t pack any pants to sleep in.”
“We’re all painfully aware of that.” I shake my head at him as he skips over to his bag, but when I turn back to face Thayla, I find her frozen in Creed’s arms, glaring at Riven’s back.
I didn’t realize this is the first time she’s seen his scars, or maybe she has and they still shock her. I observe the familiarity—or better yet—understanding mixed in with the fury and sadness racing across her face. I desperately wish she didn’t know that feeling.
He hides them when he thinks about them, but sometimes, I believe, he forgets they’re there. At least he tries to.
Creed leans down, whispering in her ear and grabbing her attention before Riven turns back around and sees her staring.
Kyzen and I share a glance, pretend we didn’t witness anything, then quickly get dressed.
We take over helping her as Creed goes to his bag and pulls out his own clothes. She argues the entire time we pull the shirt over her head and slip her legs in her pants, yet she never stops us or takes over for herself.
She even yawns a sweet thank you as she crawls her way into the middle of the bed.
Riven bellyflops beside her, wraps his arm around her stomach, tugs her until his chest is firmly pressed into her back, then slings his leg and the covers over her.
“Gods, afternoon naps are my favorites. You three wake us when dinner is ready.”
Both Kyzen and Creed go to say something but stop short. A breathtaking smile spreads across Thayla’s face as she tangles her arms with his. She’s the picture of peace against his chaos, with her eyes closed softly and covers tucked under her chin.
She truly matches all of us. Head-on.
Kyzen and Creed settle around them silently as their breathing becomes heavier, but I make my way back to the bathroom.
My heart instantly starts thudding in my chest as my fingers grab the illusion cube and I seal it back. The Binding’s power isn’t nearly as noticeable once it’s locked up, but when it’s not, it’s almost impossible to ignore.
I knew somehow, someway, we’d find it. I was determined not to give up until we did, even though my doubt was growing something fierce.
Now the even harder part starts.
In the closet, I replace the Book of the Gods Binding in my suitcase with the cube, then walk back out to get some space from it. I’ll observe it again later when everyone is back awake, but for now, I’m going to give it one last effort to find answers to the ones I already have but don’t like.
I sit on the edge of the bed and flip the book open right to the pages that give me the most information on how the Beginning Gods release power from the Binding.
Repeatedly, I read the text, finding nothing but what I already know.
“You’re more worked up than excited. I thought you’d be over the stars about having the Binding, but you seem…disappointed.”
I sigh as Kyzen climbs to the end of the bed and sits beside me.
“I thought you were sleeping with the others.”
“I was waiting for them to fall asleep. Do I ever nap?”
“No, but I figured today was an exception.”
“Nothing about today would make my body, mind, or power want a nap.”
“Nothing about what happened is your fault. There was nothing you could’ve done differently.”
He snorts, but it isn’t humorous. “Yeah, okay. My time most certainly should’ve slowed down enough that I reached her.”
“You can’t think like that or do that to yourself, Kyzen. I know you know that because if you didn’t, you would’ve said something to her. You would’ve apologized, but you didn’t because you know she’d tell you the same thing or possibly cuss you out.”
He tightens his lips and looks over his shoulder at her. “She didn’t seem to blame us.”
“She doesn’t blame us. She doesn’t blame herself, thankfully. She’s much quicker to do that than place the blame on anyone else. Even when others deserve it.”
“That sounds like there’s a deeper meaning to that statement than just today.”
“There is, but she’s not ready to acknowledge it. She has to, though.”
“What are you talking about?”
I shake my head and cut my eyes over at him. “Are you going to tell me what it is you know but haven’t shared yet?”
He holds my stare before hanging his head. “No. It’s not that it’s anything crazy or anything that will affect us. Just a hunch, really. I don’t want to say anything in case it’s my desire clouding the truth.”
“You do like to romanticize things.”
He chuffs. “I don’t romanticize anything. I attempt to look for the good, something to cherish. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“No, there isn’t. I’m not trying to tease. I think it’s one of your best qualities. You have an incredible ability to pull us out of really dark places.”
“So do you, in your own way. Like planning like a madman for all of us, and that’s why I’m so worried about the way you’re acting right now. I was expecting you to jump into full-on Guider mode, unleash all your knowledge on us, and break our power free. I don’t understand what’s got you so…down.”
I exhale sharply, close the book, and push it to the side.
My gaze cuts behind me to our amazing Binder, who has zero idea how truly amazing she is.
“I couldn’t find a way for myself to release the power from the Binding.”
His mouth falls open as he looks down at the book, then back up at me. “You’ve read that thing a million times. How was there no answer in there, telling you how to get the power out?”
“I didn’t say it didn’t give me an answer. I said I couldn’t find a way for myself.”
His eyebrows draw down as confusion covers his face.
“When she wakes up, and I have to tell her, other than a Beginning God, she’s the only being in the entire realm who can control the Binding.
As long as she’s tied to the Messenger, she’ll always be able to.
How do I tell the being who I care fiercely about, you have to get over your fear and disdain of being a god, the power you have, and do this or don’t and we just hand it over to our father? ”
“Putting everything you said first on pause, do you really think she has a fear of being a god and having power?”
“I do. Every time her power has surfaced on its own, it’s resulted in something negative in her mind. The two times she starshot, she was wrapped in Riven’s power, and it was masking those doubts and fears.”
He exhales, running his hands down his face. I’m sure he’s trying to find something to say that contradicts what I’m saying, but he can’t.
I’ve observed her tirelessly, for countless reasons, and I see her power’s uncooperative nature for what it is.
“She hasn’t tried to use her powers once since we left or starshoot. Then when she was telling us what happened, she said of course it didn’t help with anything, but it wouldn’t have because it sensed she was with an ancient creature, then a god who meant her no harm.”
“Exactly. She only seeks it when she’s in danger, not every day like it’s a piece of her.
She’s yet to have what she considers a truly positive experience with it, and although she hasn’t admitted it, I believe she also fears it’s going to remind us too much of our father. Therefore, she doesn’t try at all.”
“I’m not saying this to harp on you or anything, but you obviously know more about her powers than we do. You said you didn’t want to make assumptions to her after Hellveilious, yet you haven’t tried talking to her about it. You don’t think that would’ve helped to do by now?”
“I did at first, yes. Between my own assumption and V’s guidance, I had decided to ease her into the conversation.
Then I read the Book of the Gods Binding and found out more than I bargained for.
I threw myself into it, trying to find a work-around, another answer, something, because the truth I found is going to do nothing but scare her more.
That’s why I said I don’t know how to tell her. ”
“You tell her gently but firmly. Then you all work on it, support her. She’s going to need it.”
Kyzen jumps practically into me as V waddles out of our closet.
“You scared the hell out of me. How long have you been in there?”
“The whole time.”
“You knew he was in there?”
“No, I didn’t see him when I was in there, but I didn’t really look either.”
“No, you were too distracted with the Binding and its book. Don’t be afraid of the answers you’ve found, Amick. Who better to guide her in this than the God of Knowledge?”
God of Knowledge…
I haven’t truly held that title since my power was stripped from me.
Power my Binder will have to decide if she’s willing to try to release or not.