Kyzen
I never knew I could despise time so much.
Every day for longer than I can remember, it’s been a part of me. Literally. The past twenty-four hours, though, have been the longest, most dreadful hours of my life.
How the hell does everyone just go about their days at this rate?
I’m going to lose my ever-loving mind.
I pace around this stupid-ass bedroom for the millionth time, but no new ideas or schemes to escape this place come to me. The absence of Thayla’s soul isn’t helping.
That’s what’s been getting to us the most.
Not feeling her. Not talking to her. Not truly knowing if she’s okay.
Our strokes down her sliver of soul slam to a stop and hit a fucking metaphorical wall from either this restraint on our power or whatever kind of fucking block is around this room.
All we have is Calista’s word that she really starshot her to the Court and left her be. That hasn’t satisfied us and it isn’t going to.
Amick told us to stop bringing Thayla up. The mention of her name makes her eye twitch and we all know what that means.
So now we’re completely in the dark about what’s going on.
We finally caved a couple of hours ago and ventured back into our assigned bedrooms to shower and change out of our armor. We’re eventually going to have to give in and eat the food being brought to us as well.
It wasn’t only Thayla who fiddled with her breakfast before Amick’s trial. We all did and going twenty-four-plus hours without eating is just leaving us all even pissier.
“Tell me the fucking truth.”
I hang my head as Creed’s shout reaches me through my cracked door. He’s been pushing Riven to tell him everything he’s done to him since we were children.
Riven isn’t giving in. It’s fucking pleasing him beyond belief seeing Creed get this riled up.
Their heads whip toward me as I step out of my room.
Their features are completely fucking opposite.
Riven’s smiling. Creed’s scowling. Amick’s…well, nothing. He’s back in his little corner, staring off into nothing.
“A little fucking help,” Creed grunts, shoving his hand out toward Riven.
I sigh and shake my head. “Just tell him. This is ridiculous and you’re only doing it to distract yourself.”
“I am not only doing it for that reason. That’s just a bonus.”
“You are fucking maddening. How long have the two of you known that he’s spent his life keeping me from being nothing but a damn killing contraption?”
My crossed arms flop to my sides. “We’ve always known he was harmonizing your emotions.”
“Yeah, Kyzen, my emotions. We’re talking about my literal power. The very thing inside of me that is designed to kill. I mean, if he hadn’t been harmonizing it all these years, would I have just walked around killing everyone and everything I touched?”
“You’re really having a crisis over this.”
I charge forward—so much fucking slower than normal—and jump in front of Creed before he can wrap his hand around Riven’s throat.
“He’s having a crisis over this because it’s not every day your biggest fear is confirmed. Creed’s always been fearful that he’s nothing more than a murdering monster and you, Riven, taunting him about the fact that your power stayed wrapped around his to soothe that desire confirms that fear.
“He wants to know what or who he would’ve become without you. You’re refusing to give him that satisfaction because you don’t forgive him for what he did. You—”
“What I did? What the hell did I do that he can’t forgive me for?” Creed asks.
Amick turns, facing all of us as he links his hands behind his back.
“Shut the fuck up, Amick,” Riven warns.
“I don’t believe I will. He doesn’t forgive you for killing his pet. You killed the one thing he loved, and the only thing he believed loved him in return.”
“You stupid motherfucker.”
Creed and I latch onto Riven’s arms, holding him back as he tries to charge Amick.
Amick’s ass raises a fucking daring brow.
Valories, get us the hell out of here.
“Get off of me.”
Riven slings the two of us off and places his hands on his hips as his chest heaves. He glares daggers at Amick, who doesn’t budge at all.
“That Spyvie you used to take care of,” Creed whispers. “You don’t forgive me for killing him.”
“Should I? He was an innocent fucking creature.”
“I didn’t know any better! I did what you told Father you were going to do. I didn’t know how much you cared.”
“Of course you didn’t. You didn’t give a fuck about anyone but yourself and the praise you got from Daddy dearest. I lied and disobeyed what he told me to do, and you just stomped your high and mighty ass up and took care of it. You’ve never once fucking apologized.”
Creed rears back like Riven really did hit him. Shame, guilt, realization, a damn multitude of things race across his face as if he’s trying to sift through his memories to confirm if that’s true.
“Let’s take a breath. Being stuck in—”
“No. You know what, fuck no. I don’t want to hear your mediating taurnshit, Kyzen. You always do this. Always step in. Placate. Calm the tension before you get all stabby-happy.”
A chill runs down my spine as Riven’s words sink into my blood. I know he’s lashing out from a place of anger. We all are. We have been for hours now, but that isn’t fair. I haven’t thrown shit in anyone’s face.
“What other choice have I ever been given, Riven?”
He tears his gaze away from my calm tone and blank stare.
“Which one of the three of you was going to step up and stay the glue that held us together? Made sure none of us gave in to our father’s wishes?”
Creed and Amick won’t meet my eyes either.
“That’s what I thought. So can we please take a fucking brea—”
“Knock, knock.”
My head hangs and I pinch the bridge of my nose as our mother’s voice echoes around the room.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
“Aww, look at my boys all together and wearing the clothes I made them,” she coos, ushering in another group of Attendants carrying trays. She doesn’t miss the loud-ass rumble my stomach lets out. “Good, you’re finally hungry. I knew meal six was going to be the one.”
With a flick of her wrist, a table and five chairs appear in the living room. She parks her ass right at the head of the table and motions for us to come on.
A deep huff flows through my nostrils as I stomp over there and pull out the chair beside her. I know if this isn’t the seat I choose, the other three aren’t going to sit.
Fucking assholes.
Especially Riven.
Stabby-happy. What a dick.
My assumption was correct.
Riven snatches a chair from the other side, sliding it until it’s at the opposite end of the table. Creed takes a seat beside me, while Amick moves the other one closest to Calista as far away from her as it can be.
Her lips twitch the smallest amount. Her displeased smile morphs back to its normal, unnerving curve once she places and smooths a napkin in her lap.
With a snap of her fingers, the Attendants move as one, setting plates and drinks in front of each of us. For a moment, the savory smell of roast replaces the horrendous scent of the floral perfume she’s drenched in.
“That will be all. You’re dismissed.”
The Attendants scamper out with nothing more than a bow.
I crack my neck as I pick up my fork. My movement spurs my brothers on.
“Excuse me? What do you all think you’re doing?”
My lids drift shut and I subtly shake my head.
“We’re about to eat,” I say as neutral as possible.
“Not one of you have said your prayers.”
“Excuse me?” I ask.
“You’re not excused. We just sat down.”
I lay my fork down and lace my fingers. My glare burns against my brothers’ faces. I so fucking badly want to say I told you so, or ask if any of them would like to step in.
“Fucking assholes,” I mutter, then face Calista. “We don’t say prayers, and we’re not going to start now. We’d appreciate it if you respected that and allowed us to eat. If it’s going to be a problem, though, we’ll forgo this meal as well.”
“You all can’t keep going without food.” She chuckles.
“We all—some of us longer than others—have survived much longer without eating.”
She frowns at me like that simply can’t be true.
“Very well. You may eat,” she says, and we each pick our forks back up. “Your father isn’t going to be too happy about that at our dinner tomorrow night, though. He takes blessing our food very seriously.”
I damn near choke on my first bite.
“What are you talking about?” I ask after I clear my airways.
Her face is a mix of disgust and maybe a touch of concern. She shakes the glare away and takes a sip of her drink.
“Your father is joining us for dinner tomorrow.”
“We won’t be here for dinner tomorrow.”
“Oh, Riven.” She laughs, waving her hand at him like he’s hilarious. “Silly thing. Of course you will. I did invite Rella as well, but she declined. You understand.”
My eyes plead with my brothers to stay fucking calm. As calm as they can.
I take a few bites of the tasteless food. That’s no insult to whoever the Attendant is who made it. The company has killed my appetite and desire to eat.
“Ah, look at us. All together. Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?”
Creed’s fist bashes against the table and he shrugs my hand off his shoulder.
“You’ve locked us in a damn cage.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. This isn’t a cage. It’s a lovely living space created just for all of you.”
“So you plan on keeping us in here for another day?” I ask.
“Kyzen, my sweet boy.” I lean out of the way as she reaches out to pinch my fucking cheek. Her hand flinches for a moment before she pulls it back. “Yes, I do. And as I said, your father will be joining us tomorrow. I’m so very excited. I can’t wait to have my family back together again.”
“You say again as if we were ever a family,” Amick says, and her fork falters before it reaches her mouth. “We will not be staying another day. We will be leaving and we will see you at our hearing tomorrow.”
She huffs dismissively, humming and closing her eyes as she takes a bite of food.
We sit silently, staring at her as she chews at least thirty times, swallows, takes a sip of drink, pats her fucking lips, then smiles at us.