545 P.M. • Wild Gate • Sadie’s Journal
What did I expect from the wilderness? Wild comes with the territory. I shouldn’t be surprised that it isn’t a walk in the park…and yet.
I guess there’s a difference between knowing something and experiencing it: you don’t know what it feels like to be on a mountain just from looking at a postcard, in other words.
My body, right now, is screaming for the things it knows.
A soft bed. A gigantic bowl of mac and cheese with a side of mashed potatoes. Air conditioning. Abby sprawled out on my floor, painting her nails and telling me all about her date with Jonathan as the latest Gracie Abrams album plays in the background.
When I look down at my own mismatched nails, something in me settles.
It’s the memory of Thorn’s hands on mine, the way he was so careful and focused…
but it’s also the way I’m surprised to find I actually *like* the randomness of the colors.
It’s so unlike me, honestly. I like neatness and order—and, yes, classic manicures—so it’s comforting to realize I can be okay without things being exactly as I planned.
I like to be in control: to be prepared for every single situation that could possibly come up so I can conquer it with ease…
or so I can know how to avoid anything too risky in the first place.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that, out here? You just can’t know every single thing that will come up. Sometimes it’s as small and inconsequential as a nail polish crisis, and sometimes it’s a girl nearly falling over the edge of a cliff.
I’m really glad Brittany is okay.