Chapter 7
Letter to Cassie Griffin, care of Relic Records
September 14, 2005
Dear Cassie Griffin,
I don’t know if you will ever see this letter—probably you won’t!—but I had to write it anyhow.
My name is Amy O’Brien.
I am fifteen, and I look like you.
I have been overweight/obese/fluffy/chunky/fat for my whole life, and I have spent my whole life trying to change the way I look.
My pediatrician put me on my first diet when I was eight years old.
My mom took me to Weight Watchers when I was eleven.
I’ve done low-carb diets and low-fat diets and pineapple and cabbage soup diets, and nothing ever worked (at least not for long).
I never saw anyone who looked like me on a stage or on TV (unless it was a Jenny Craig commercial or The Biggest Loser).
I will never forget the night in 2003 when I was babysitting and I was so excited to see you on Saturday Night Live, because I already loved your songs, and I felt like the lyrics were speaking to me, or could be about someone like me.
I know that sounds confusing but that is how I felt.
You looked like me and you were on that stage, on TV, and you weren’t there as a “before”
on a weight-loss show or commercial.
You weren’t a problem to solve or something that had to change.
You were the star.
You were singing, and you sounded so beautiful, and you looked so fierce and so powerful, like you knew that was where you belonged.
I never forgot it.
You made me feel like I could be someone, and do something big with my life, even if I never lost weight.
You made me think about all the time and energy I was spending on diets, and counting calories and tracking my fat grams, and measuring my portions, and whether I couldn’t spend that time doing something I love as much as you must love music (I don’t know what that thing is yet—I’m not as good at anything as you are at singing or playing the piano!—but I am trying to find it).
You changed my life, and I wanted to say “thank you.”
And I hope someday you’ll make another album, and I’ll get to see you singing again.
Sincerely,
Amy O’Brien
Lenox, MA