14. Madison
MADISON
“Girl, I can’t paint baby dinos with heart eyes,” I said, shaking my head as I leaned up against the kitchen island, nail polish in hand. “What do you think I am? An artist?”
“Yep!” Kenna giggled at me, wiggling her little fingers in my face.
“Let’s be reasonable here.” I took her hand, inspecting her itty-bitty nails.
There was barely room for a polka dot. “What do you think of little hearts? Ooh!” I dug through her bedazzled nail polish kit, producing the appropriate colors.
“What if we alternate red and pink hearts on a purple background? That’ll be perfect for Valentine’s Day in a couple weeks. ”
“I want to make more magnets later.”
“We can definitely do that,” I said, giving the purple nail polish a shake. In preparation for February’s holiday, we’d spent the past few days making red heart-shaped magnets to stick to the fridge and pink paper chains to loop around the dining room table.
“And then I can paint your nails,” Kenna said, nodding. “’Cause mine will be dry.”
“That’s definitely a plan,” I said diplomatically. If I set Kenna loose with the nail polish brush, I was going to end up with polish everywhere but my nails. “I don’t know if it’s going to be Plan A, though. You know what I’m saying?”
Alistair walked into the kitchen, his lips already set in a smirk from what he’d clearly overheard—eavesdropping on me, as usual. “You don’t want to get a manicure done at Salon Kenna?” he teased.
“Watch it,” I said, pointing a threatening finger his way. “Or else you’ll be our next customer.” I gestured over my shoulder at the polish kit. “There’s a whole book of nail jewels in there that are just looking for some prime real estate, and you, sir, have the biggest fingernails of all of us.”
“Daddy, you want some diamonds on your nails?” Kenna asked.
“I’ll have to book an appointment later,” he quipped. “Besides, you’re the only diamond I need in my life.” He leaned over and kissed her on the top of the head.
His words and his soft gesture made my chest clench.
My own parents would wither on the spot before they’d ever be so free with their praise or affection.
Watching the care and attention Alistair always gave Kenna, no matter how busy he was with work, always warmed something in me, and I couldn’t help grinning at them from across the counter.
His eyes lifted to meet mine. “Can we talk?”
I opened the purple nail polish, removing the brush and taking Kenna’s hand in mine, holding it steady. “Go for it,” I said, lips pursed as I focused. “What’s up?”
“What would you think about staying on for another month?” he said, letting the question hang between us. “I could really use the help—especially next week, since I have a conference in London I need to attend.”
“What happened to these other nannies you’ve been interviewing?” I asked lightly, trying not to smirk.
“None of them are appropriate,” he said, words suddenly gruff.
“Right.” I knew that was probably a lie. He hadn’t mentioned anything about any other nanny for weeks, and I questioned how much effort he was really putting into the search. But, truthfully, I wasn’t all that bothered by the thought of staying at Dunhope longer.
In fact, it suited me.
I was due to start my glassblowing lessons with Lesley soon, so I wasn’t exactly looking to leave Braeburn right away.
Kenna and I were having a blast hanging out together every day.
Plus, as far as I knew, Alistair’s connections were still working on tracking down the locations in my mother’s photos.
The fact that the man had kissed me in the library the other night—well, that also factored into my decision to stay. At least a little.
Okay, a lot.
The man couldn’t just go around taking my breath away and then expect me to be packing my bags. But that was between me, Princess, and Emily. I fought the heat stretching up my neck, clearing my throat. “Yeah,” I said in answer to his question. “I think we can probably work something out.”
His shoulders dropped, and he visibly relaxed. “Perfect.”
“What kind of conference is it?” I asked, starting on Kenna’s other hand.
“It’s an annual tech industry thing,” he said, waving it off like it was no big deal. But I knew it must be a big deal if he was prepared to go back to London. “I used to attend when I was still with Voyages. Now I’m needed there to take some meetings with a few of the companies I’ve invested in.”
“Sounds like a party for nerds,” I said.
“Nerds!” Kenna giggled.
Alistair snorted. “I’m not saying you’re right…but I’m not saying you’re wrong, either. This kind of conference draws all sorts. I can’t say I’m really looking forward to it. I usually prefer to keep a healthy distance from my business ventures these days.”
“The other side of a computer screen?” I quipped.
“At least. But my absence would look like a deliberate slight to some of these companies that are making the trek from across Europe or the Middle East. Plus,” he hesitated enough that I glanced up from my work, “I don’t want to look like I’m hiding from the world.”
“Or becoming some kind of recluse who turns his nose up at poor, defenseless travelers who crawl in through doggy doors?” I said.
“Christ,” he muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. “Are you ever going to let that go?”
“I will be telling this story in my nineties from the nursing home.” He knew I was teasing him, but I also understood his point.
He wanted to show the media and everyone else that he wouldn’t be bullied out of the business world.
“I’m not going to lie, your conference sounds capital-B boring.
But I’m sure it’ll be quite fascinating for you.
Probably a lot of networking opportunities. ”
He nodded.
“I want to come!” Kenna said suddenly, wrenching her hand free of mine.
“Careful,” I said. “Don’t smudge your fingers.”
“That’s not a good idea, sweetheart.” Alistair touched her nose as she pouted up at him. I knew he was only trying to protect Kenna after what happened in London.
“But I want to go!” she said, her nostrils flaring as she huffed.
“I’ve never been to London,” I mused.
Alistair immediately shook his head. “No, the two of you will stay here. Weston and Locke will be on call if you need anything.”
“It’s been months since the trial ended,” I pointed out. “And you did say you refused to look like you’re hiding.”
A muscle in his cheek twitched.
“Maybe it’s time to see if the world has moved on,” I said softly.
His hand curled into a fist against the counter. “You don’t understand what it was like.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” I said. “But you can’t let yourself stay trapped in what happened in the past. It’s not good for you.
” Or Kenna, I added silently. “Look, if we get there and it’s as bad as you anticipate, then Kenna and I will just hang out in the hotel, order room service, and watch movies. ”
“Yay, room service!” Kenna cheered.
“But,” I reasoned, “if it’s not that bad”—and I didn’t think it would be—“maybe the three of us can go out and have some fun in between all that nerdy stuff.”
Alistair hummed, eyes unfocused for a beat, like he was genuinely considering it. “What exactly is your definition of fun?”
I perked up at that. Holy shit, was he actually considering bringing us to London? “Um, I don’t know, really.” I hadn’t given much thought to visiting England while I was here. But now that I was…“I’ve always sort of wanted to ride that giant Ferris wheel.”
“The London Eye,” Kenna said. “It’s so big.”
Alistair groaned and rubbed his forehead. “Why does it have to be the most touristy thing ever? Do you know how busy it’s going to be in the lead up to Valentine’s Day?”
Kenna jumped down from her stool, waving her little hands around. “London Eye! London Eye!”
“Weren’t you the one who told me you’ve got all these fancy travel connections?” I said, arching my eyebrow.
“You’re right,” he agreed, looking thoughtful. “And I think I can do better than the London Eye.”
“Holy wow,” I murmured, my eyes going wide as I stepped onto the jet a week later. Apparently, there was a small runway at Weston’s estate, Lochbrae, and that’s where Alistair kept his private freaking jet! Right next to Weston’s in the hangar.
What even was my life?
Kenna raced ahead of me, climbing onto a fancy leather seat.
It was black, sparkling with polished silver accents.
In fact, the whole cabin gleamed. I curled my hands against my sides, worried I’d accidentally leave fingerprints behind.
While I ogled the plane, Kenna reached for her seatbelt, clipped it, then unpacked her bag, placing a coloring book on the table in front of her.
She was comfortable in a way that told me she’d done this dozens of times before, and that was a wild thought. The kid was four.
“Everything okay?” Alistair asked, coming up behind me. I jerked slightly at the heat of his breath on the back of my neck.
“Yeah, uh…sorry,” I said, laughing as I gestured ahead. “Just trying to take it all in.”
“All what?”
I turned, stunned to realize he wasn’t kidding. “It’s my first time on a private jet, okay?”
Alistair’s lips twitched, clearly amused at my awe. “You live and work in a castle, you know.”
“That’s different,” I argued as he inched around me. “I’ve gotten used to the castle.” Sort of. “This is something I’m not used to.” His hand fell to my hip as he passed, and my pulse exploded, hammering at the base of my throat.
Being touched by him like that was something else I wasn’t used to, and I willed my heart to calm down. Now was not the time. I couldn’t be having these kinds of thoughts while trapped in a flying metal tube with him and his four-year-old daughter.
“There’s caviar and bubbly in the back if you want to get really fancy,” Alistair said, settling down on a plush sofa seat.
“Of course,” I quipped. What private jet didn’t have caviar?
“And ice cream that will change your life, according to Isla,” he added.
I hummed with interest. “I’d like to hear more about this ice cream.”
“Me too,” Kenna said, kicking her little feet with excitement. “Madison, sit beside me!”
I headed in Kenna’s direction, plopping down in the seat beside her. It felt like sitting on a cloud. I ran my hands over the smooth leather armrests. I was officially ruined for economy for the rest of my life.
Alistair’s phone rang and he answered it, humming in response to a question. “No, I’m not concerned,” he grumbled. “If you panic every time the market twitches, this partnership isn’t going to work.”
Silence followed.
I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, not wanting to eavesdrop on business, but it was a little hard to avoid it inside the jet.
“I don’t care what the projections say; I care about timing. Either fix it or I’ll find someone who can.” His words were flat and final as he hung up.
“Everything okay?” I asked when he caught my eye.
He nodded, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Just sorting some things before my meetings.”
“Sounded like they were getting a Lord Crankypants special,” I said. Alistair simply snorted, going back to his phone.
“Madison, watch this!” I turned as Kenna jammed her finger into a button on the console between us. The flight attendant appeared a moment later. “Can I have some juice please?”
The woman smiled at her. “Of course. And for you, ma’am? We have an excellent Cairngorm Cuvée on board, if that’s of interest.”
“She likes whiskey,” Alistair said without looking up from his phone.
The woman nodded. “I can do a MacRae single malt, if you’d prefer?”
“That’s Isla’s father’s company,” Alistair said. “It’s quite lovely.”
My eyes almost bugged out of my head at all the fancy options. But it was too much. I was used to drinking my Diet Coke and eating my slightly rubbery economy meal at the back of the plane. This was…wow. “Juice,” I squeaked, overwhelmed.
The woman blinked down at me. “Juice?”
I nodded, gesturing to Kenna. “I’ll have what she’s having.”
The flight attendant hurried away without commenting. Alistair, however, covered his face, trying to hide his laughter.
“What?” I asked, squirming in my seat.
“Juice?”
“I panicked.”
He laughed harder. Louder. Like it was the funniest thing he’d ever witnessed. He lowered his hand, grinning at me. Then he picked his phone up, typing furiously.
“What are you doing?”
“Making some arrangements,” he said.
“What kinds of arrangements?” I asked suspiciously.
“You’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Alistair.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you enjoy yourself.” His words shot right through me, settling dangerously in my lower gut. “Trust me.”
I swallowed hard, watching his smile shift as he typed, reminded yet again how different he was from the men I was used to. It wasn’t just that he had money to spend. It was that he seemed to want to spend it on me. Like I was important to him.
I sat back in my seat as Kenna handed me a marker. “You can color the princess crown.”
“Thanks,” I said, thoughts spiraling. I was used to being the one who overinvested in relationships. Not that this was a relationship. This was…a single kiss.
A freaking amazing kiss that I desperately wanted to repeat, but there never seemed to be the right moment.
I didn’t even think that qualified us as a situationship.
Though considering the way Alistair held the world at arm’s length, it felt like something special.
And I wanted to explore that. Emily had warned me multiple times since I’d come to stay with Alistair not to overcommit like I had with my previous boyfriends.
Not to give all of myself to people who gave as little as possible back. But that’s not what was happening here.
I thought of Ryan, the last guy I’d been head over heels for, and how hard I’d tried to force myself to be exactly what he’d wanted. Four months in, I’d found out the guy was messaging other women behind my back. When I confronted him, he said I was too clingy.
That wasn’t the first time I’d heard that word.
Clingy. Growing up, my parents constantly scolded me for acting “like a baby,” which for them apparently meant openly seeking affection.
And now I wondered if my desperation for love, for attention, for a real relationship, was rooted in all the times I’d reached out only to be gently but firmly pushed away.
But now wasn’t the time to go picking apart my past because this thing with Alistair already felt different.
For once, I wasn’t the only one making an effort. It was nice having someone who wanted to invest in our time together. I took the cap off my marker. Kenna leaned against my arm, smiling up at me. It was especially nice thinking someone might want to cling to me for a change.
Which was, of course, exactly the sort of thinking that had got me in trouble every other time.