24. Locke
LOCKE
Iwasted no time grabbing my things and getting the hell out of the Deerhound.
I got halfway to my vehicle, with my pulse pounding in my ears, when my phone pinged.
For a moment, my hope surged. Surely, it was Isla, asking me to come back.
Apologizing for having had a go at me after I’d spent the entire day just trying to get to Braeburn, trying to get to her.
I’d go back in, we’d sort things out, and I’d take her to bed, holding her in my arms the way I’d been aching to for hours.
But no, it was Weston, inviting me around for dinner at Lochbrae.
Actually, he invited both Isla and me. For a second, I thought about going—leaning on my friend and letting him commiserate with me.
But I couldn’t stomach the thought of turning up there alone, having to face the lot of them with Isla’s words burning in the back of my mind.
I shouldn’t have to fight this hard to get you to choose your family!
“Bah!” I growled, shooting off a quick reply turning down the invite. Then I threw myself in my car and sped back to Edinburgh, sneering at the light traffic that didn’t present the slightest obstacle to me now, when clear roads couldn’t do me one bit of good.
I didn’t bother turning on the lights when I got to my flat, storming across my living room and into the kitchen in the semi-darkness before wrenching open my fridge.
For the first time in hours, I realized how hungry I was—I’d never actually gotten around to eating that sandwich Isla had made.
The adrenaline of our fight had masked the hunger for a while, but now my stomach was trying to swallow the rest of my organs.
I pulled out a container of leftover Chinese, gave it a sniff—it didn’t smell great, but it didn’t seem to have taken on sentient life yet, so I figured it was safe enough.
I ate it cold, not even tasting the food.
I was too frustrated to worry about the flavor anyway.
I didn’t even realize I’d finished it until my fork scraped across the bottom of the empty container.
I huffed a sharp breath, crushing the paper box in my hand as I let my aggravation bubble and stew.
Where did she get off, telling me my priorities were out of whack?
Yes, work frequently came first for me. But that didn’t mean she and the baby were at the bottom of the list. The fact that she’d even insinuated that—that she’d compared me to her father—was insulting!
As if I hadn’t been bending over backward to make sure she had everything she needed since the moment I found out about the baby.
I swiped the Chinese into the rubbish bin.
What the hell did Isla want from me anyway?
The accident wasn’t my fault. If the damn truck hadn’t overturned, I would have made it in plenty of time for the judging!
Hell, maybe I would have been early enough to join Weston and Alistair in the kilted dash.
That was all beside the point though. I still couldn’t take off from the office willy-nilly whenever I wanted and abandon my responsibilities—there were more important things than bloody haggis tasting!
What about that was so hard for her to understand?
I pulled a glass from the cupboard. And who was Isla to question how I handled my own business?
The mother of your child, for one, my mind said. And the woman you thought you lov—
I slammed the cupboard door. None of it mattered anyway. We were done as of tonight. That’s what she’d said she wanted. And that’s what I wanted too.
Right?
I filled the glass with water at the sink, gulping it down so quickly my chest ached.
I’d gone out of my way to show up for Isla in a million ways since meeting her.
I’d waded through a bloody potato flood to get to Braeburn today when it would have been so much easier to just turn around.
I called her almost every evening despite how late I still had to work.
I had deliveries for the baby turning up at the inn weekly.
What part of all that looked like I wasn’t showing up for her or our child?
I dropped my empty glass into the sink with a clank, my stomach roiling. Whatever we were, it’s done.
I still had no idea how things had gone so sideways. How one conversation had turned out to be the end of us. I wrapped my hands around the edge of the counter, squeezing cold marble. Truth was, I didn’t want to be the guy who walked away, but Isla seemed insistent on backing me into a corner.
She wanted me to apologize for being who I was. Or maybe what she actually wanted was for me to be someone other than who I was: a guy committed to excelling in his career. And that wasn’t something I was prepared to do.
If Isla was too stubborn—too caught up in past hurts—to understand why me being late to the bloody festival was not some major statement about how I valued our relationship, then clearly, we were never going to agree when it came to our priorities.
And I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life being harped on for going above and beyond to make sure I’d always have the resources to take care of my child.
I exhaled sharply. This breakup was for the best. Clearly, there was no way forward for us.
Thursday of the following week, Alistair called. It was early afternoon—an odd time for him to reach out when he knew I was slammed with work. Not to mention I’d have expected him to still be in court. I paused my meeting prep, answering the phone. “All right, mate?”
“Yeah.” He sighed heavily. “It’s done.”
What’s done? was on the tip of my tongue as I shoved a bunch of loose papers into a folder. And then it hit me like a sack of bricks to the head. The trial had concluded today, with the final judgment handed down.
“Fucking hell, I forgot it was today,” I said. How could I have forgotten? “I’m such an arse.”
“Don’t say that,” Alistair said. “I know you’ve had a lot on your mind.”
He didn’t mention Isla’s name, but I knew he was thinking it.
While Isla and I hadn’t exactly made a grand announcement of our split, it hadn’t taken long for everyone to find out.
Cat had gotten the news out of Isla. Lena had heard it from Cat.
Weston had called me. And before I knew it, Alistair was read in on the entire situation—as if he needed anything else to worry about while the trial was ongoing.
But now the trial had ended…and I’d totally dropped the ball on remembering that. I hadn’t even messaged him a word of encouragement this morning!
I ran my hand over my face, feeling like utter shite. But that was hardly new. I’d been walking through a fog for days. “Tell me how everything went?”
Alistair huffed a hollow laugh, and I immediately thought the worst. Then he said, “I’ve been cleared of all responsibility for what Jessica did.”
“Bloody hell, mate! That’s amazing news—but not surprising.
I knew the courts would see sense.” I slumped back in my office chair, a wave of relief crashing through me.
I’d been so caught up thinking about Isla and myself that I’d completely neglected my friend.
I bit down on the frustrated groan that shot up my throat and gave Alistair my full attention.
“Are you all right? You must be glad to have it over.”
“I think I’m still sort of processing the verdict,” Alistair said. “When the judgment was read out, all I wanted was to get out of that courtroom, away from the press gallery, and go home to hug Kenna.”
“I don’t blame you.” The guy had been put through hell since the day Jessica blew up his life. The trial was just the latest serving of shite. I would have wanted to go home to my family too. My chest clenched at that thought, an ache throbbing.
What family—Isla and the baby? I didn’t have them to go home to.
I cleared my throat. “You deserve some actual down time now. Did you get home okay?”
“Yeah, after fighting my way through a mob of reporters,” he grumbled.
I frowned. “They didn’t have police there for you?”
“Of course they did,” he said, an edge to his voice, “but a lot of good they were! You should have heard the things the press were yelling. Negligence isn’t innocence!
You should have known better, but you were too busy being led around by your dick!
I think people are actually angrier now that I’ve been legally cleared. ”
“It’s a load of pish,” I said. “They just want someone to blame, and Jessica’s not around, so you’re the easiest target. Besides, those hacks are just shouting out whatever they think will get you to react.”
“Doesn’t stop those questions from being the loudest in every room.”
“I’m sorry,” was all I could say. I’d dealt with my own bit of bad press when that property contract fell through all those months ago, but that in no way compared to how Alistair had been hounded by the media and picked apart.
I didn’t know what would help him. I got the sense that he wanted to escape from it all, but while he was more than welcome to stay with me, I wasn’t sure it would help.
Edinburgh was smaller than London. Quieter.
But it was still a city with media outlets. The press would follow him here.
Besides, Alistair didn’t need my help if he wanted to disappear.
He had the means to do that. I suspected the thing holding him back was not wanting to uproot Kenna from the life she knew.
“Maybe the best thing you can do is just ride it out. Now that the trial is over, the press will get bored. They’ll have to go chase another story. ”
“I don’t know if they are going to get bored,” Alistair said.
I could hear the exhaustion in his voice.
“I’ve been getting angry letters and emails and threats from people for months.
Strangers see me out in public and shout nasty things from the street.
” I heard his sharp exhale. “As upset as people seem to be about the verdict, I worry things are just going to get worse.”
It was appalling to think so many people were furious with Alistair for…
what? Taking care of the mother of his child?
What did they think he should have done?
He had no idea she’d been manipulating him or planning to steal from his company.
I ran my hand through my hair. “Maybe you need to beef up your security for a while. Increase their presence at the office.”
“I’m not worried about me,” he said. “I’m so numb to the abuse at this point. But I am worried about Kenna.”
“Do you think she really understands what’s going on?”
“I know most of it goes over her head,” Alistair admitted.
“But not all of it. She knows when people are angry, and she can feel how stressed I’ve been.
She’s already started reacting to that.” He groaned.
“I feel horrible, but I haven’t even wanted the nanny to leave the flat with her.
I’m worried some asshole paparazzi is going to figure out who she is and terrify her.
That’s the last thing I’d ever want. Kenna shouldn’t suffer because of the mistakes I’ve made. ”
The mistake of opening his heart, I thought.
“Would a visit from Uncle Locke help?” I asked.
Maybe hanging out with Alistair and Kenna for a while would keep me from thinking about Isla constantly.
Now that the anger and the frustration had subsided, all I could do was keep reliving that conversation at the inn.
I played it over in my mind, picking apart our words, still unclear on how it had all fallen apart.
“You know Kenna would never say no to a visit,” Alistair said, breaking me from my thoughts.
“All right then,” I said. “I can hang with the kid while you sort things with the board. I’m sure there’s a lot to catch up on.” There was silence on the other end of the line. “Alistair?”
He hummed uncertainly. “I don’t think it’s tenable to stay at the company any longer.”
What the hell? I jumped to my feet, pacing to my office door and back. It was his company! He was the founder, and it was his hard work and dedication that had led it to become such a success.
“Isn’t that being a little rash?” I said. “You’ve only just finished the trial.”
“Honestly,” he said. “I’ve felt this decision coming for a while now.
With everything that’s gone on, there’s just no trust there.
The courts might have cleared me, but too many bridges have been burned.
The board is desperate to be rid of me. The way I see it, I can either walk away with my head held high, or I can let them bully me out the door. ”
“Christ,” I said, pausing and staring out the window into the cold, gray afternoon. I couldn’t even imagine being shoved out of my own company. “What are you going to do?”
“Resign my position, for starters,” he said, defeated.
“And then…I’m not sure. I haven’t thought much past this moment.
I’ve been so consumed with clearing my name.
Only now that it’s happened, I feel even more trapped.
All I know is there’s no easy way to change public opinion of me, and I can’t drag Kenna through an ongoing PR crisis. ”
“If that’s what you think is best,” I said. “You know Weston and I are here to support you and Kenna. Whatever you need, just ask.”
“I don’t even know what that is right now.” He swore under his breath. “I can’t bloody believe I ended up here. That a simple little romance ended in all of this.”
That was how it went with love, though, wasn’t it? It started out so sweet and perfect, and yet it ended in loss and ruin. Again and again. I swallowed hard. “We’ll get you through this. Tell Kenna Uncle Locke is on his way.”
We hung up, and in that moment, I knew letting Isla go was the right decision. I’d be there to support our child, but I was better off without the rest of it. I couldn’t afford to make the same mistakes Alistair had.