29. Isla #2
Just like that? I thought. I ran my hand over my face. I felt like I was in some sort of fever dream. My pulse thumped and my skin itched, and why was I sweating so damn much?
Why was there no air in this room? I whirled away from him in panic.
“Isla?” Locke said, his words laced with concern. I felt his fingertips at my shoulder.
“No, I…I can’t,” I murmured. This was everything I’d wanted to hear after the breakup.
Everything I told myself I was never going to hear.
I’d convinced myself that this kind of happy ending wasn’t in the cards for me, but now Locke was here, saying all the right things. It was too perfect—I didn’t trust it.
Happily ever afters only happened in fairy tales. I needed to get the hell out of here so I could clear my head and make the world start making sense again. I started walking toward the door, shouldering my way past groups of people.
“Isla!” Locke’s voice rang out again.
I didn’t stop, managing to slip the crowd and dart out the door, sucking in a breath of that sharp, frigid air.
It was cold enough to hurt, but that was what I wanted right now.
The door thumped close behind me, and I hurried down the steps as quickly as my pregnant body would carry me.
I wanted to run, to sprint away from this place, but it was really more of a speed walk.
My breath coiled in front of me, unfurling like a rope, and I followed it all the way back to the safety of the inn.
But even as I barricaded myself behind the lobby doors, I still didn’t feel right.
The walls closed in around me, and I did the only thing I could.
I fled.
I went to the place I always went when my thoughts were a mess. The place where I always felt closest to my mother—the waterfall.
I carefully navigated the hotel construction and the frost-covered paths, taking myself down to the lookout point.
But despite how hard I tried to settle my thoughts, I couldn’t.
Because Locke was everywhere. He’d wormed his way into my heart and my head and all my favorite places.
How was I supposed to sort myself out and stop thinking of him when he was already everywhere I went?
The hot sting of tears weighed heavy behind my eyes, and I tried to blink away the confusion that ate at me. What the hell was I doing?
Footsteps echoed behind me, and my pulse skipped as I glanced over my shoulder. Locke had found me. I turned back to the water. “You didn’t have to come.”
“Of course I did.” He stopped next to me. We stood like that for a beat, watching the December sun cascade through the naked trees, watching the water shimmer. “It really is beautiful, isn’t it? Even in the winter. I can’t wait for the day we get to share this place with our son.”
“You really plan to be here for all that?” I asked.
His pinky curled over mine. “I want to bring our son here to swim in the summers. And I want to walk the trails with him in the autumn, the leaves crunching under our feet. I want to picnic here in the springtime, when the heather blooms and the butterflies descend on the wildflower meadows, just like you did as a kid.”
My throat closed up. I couldn’t believe he’d remembered that. “These are all pretty words, Locke, but—”
“You need actions,” he finished for me. “I know that. I haven’t done a great job so far of proving that you can rely on me or that you and the baby are my top priority, but I’m trying to be better. And that’s why I’m staying. My flat in Edinburgh is already up for sale. My things are in boxes.”
“What?” I finally turned to him.
He caught one of my hands in his. “I’m making Braeburn my home. I was serious about that.”
A few tears escaped, running down my cheeks. They burned in the cold. “I asked you to be here so many times and you couldn’t make that commitment. How do I know this will be any different?”
“Because…” He swallowed hard. “For the longest time, I’ve believed that love led to loss and ruin.
That business was the only safe thing to invest myself in.
So that’s what I did. I poured all of my time and energy into the business.
After you got pregnant, I even convinced myself that focusing on the business meant protecting our son, because he’d have the business to fall back on, no matter what, just like I did.
But I’ve realized that all I was doing was setting up a future for him to make exactly the same mistakes I’ve made—mistakes that lead to an empty, lonely life.
Because having the business means nothing when I don’t have you by my side. ”
I opened my mouth to respond, fighting past all the emotion. “And what happens when the baby needs something when you have a work meeting scheduled? Or he keeps you up all night and your deals fall through?”
“Well, I’m just going to have to learn how to delegate to my team.
” He took my other hand, his skin warm against mine.
“Look, I want to be able to provide a good life for you and our son. Always. I want you to be safe and comfortable every single day. But I understand now that in order for us to be truly happy, I need to be present. Because there will always be more work to do, but there won’t always be more time to spend as a family.
And I don’t want to get to the end of my life, wishing I hadn’t missed all these moments with the two of you. ”
A sob bubbled up from my chest.
“I was afraid of losing everything if I loved too hard,” Locke continued, “but the truth is, losing you was losing everything.”
A mix of disbelief and warmth and happiness surged through me. And suddenly there was no controlling the tears.
“I’m sorry, Isla,” he said, pulling me closer. “I’m sorry you had to suffer while I got my priorities in order. But if you give me another chance, I promise I will spend the rest of my life being here, by your side. Being present. Because I love you and I want this life together.”
Locke released my hands, and I dove into his arms, into the strength of his hug, letting his warmth chase away the cold that nipped at my skin. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too,” he whispered against my hair.
My pulse skipped in my chest. There was still a measure of fear inside me, but I was finally starting to believe Locke was someone I could trust with my heart. That no matter what happened, he’d be here for me and the baby, because he’d finally realized what priorities really mattered.
“I know building a life together will come with its share of challenges,” he said, pulling away slightly. “That it’ll be scary sometimes.”
I smiled up at him, swiping at the tacky tears on my cheeks. “We can be scared together.”
“And happy and exhausted and overwhelmed.” He pressed a kiss to the tip of my nose. “And all the other things new parents are supposed to be.”
“That sounds perfect,” I agreed.
That half smile curled up his face again. “Does this mean I’m getting a second chance?”
“A second and a third and however many times you need to get it right,” I agreed. “I’ll keep forgiving you as long as I know you’re trying. As long as I know you want to get it right and be the father and partner that Baby and I deserve.”
He laughed, the sound vibrating through me. “I will never stop trying,” he said with certainty as he lowered his head toward mine. I pressed up on my toes, meeting his icy lips. “I love you, Isla.”
“I love you too,” I murmured against his mouth. “Do you want to come home with me?”
His arms tightened around my waist, and it felt like he’d never let go. “I can’t think of anything I want more.”