24. Gretchen
Gretchen
Ilooked up as Rochelle knocked on my office door.
“How’s Zoe doing? That must have been scary as hell for her.”
I stiffened. “What are you talking about?”
Rochelle got an ‘oh shit’ look on her face. “Uh. I was just reading the incident report she submitted about the attack.”
I sprang out of my chair. “Attack? Someone got attacked? Wait, are you saying that Zoe got attacked?”
She’d been on the overnight last night, and I hadn’t picked her up like I usually did because I had an early morning meeting with our finance committee. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, looking for messages from Zoe. When I didn’t find any, I turned back to Rochelle.
“What happened?”
“Something happened with one of the shelter guests who left a DV situation. The ex-husband apparently figured out where she and the kids were staying and figured he’d get in easier if he came at night. He came in right behind someone and when Zoe tried to stop him, he shoved her.”
“Is she all right?” I gasped. “I need to go.”
“She’s fine. Just shaken up, I imagine. She called the cops and they arrested the guy while he was walking up and down the hallway bellowing his wife’s name and knocking on doors,” she said. “Julia and Chris came right over as soon as they heard and made sure everyone was okay.”
“Thanks Rochelle.”
My friend walked away and I grabbed my cell phone, first calling Zoe and when she didn’t answer I called her grandmother.
“How’s Zoe?” I asked.
“She’s fine dear, why?”
“I heard there was trouble at her job last night.”
“Oh yes she told me. Some asshole pushed her to the ground, but she’s not injured. The police took care of it. Nothing to worry about.”
But I couldn’t help worrying. After stewing about it for an hour I pinged Julia over at the shelter, asking her to get on a video call with me.
“You should have better security at the shelter,” I snapped as soon as she answered.
She blinked in surprise at my tone. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about a man pushing his way into the lobby and hurting my… hurting our employees.” My voice was shaking.
Julia’s eyes narrowed. “Another guest let him in, but the security protocols we have in place worked just as they should. Zoe was able to press the alarm to summon the police and lock the facility down. The guy was arrested without incident.”
“Without incident?” I asked incredulously. “Zoe was pushed to the ground.”
“And she was fine. She kept her wits about her and managed to keep things from going from bad to worse.”
I was so upset I could hardly breathe. “You need to put her on day shift.”
“Excuse me?”
“I don’t want Zoe working nights anymore. It’s too dangerous.”
“Are you telling me how to run my program, Gretchen? Or are you telling your girlfriend how to run her life?” she snapped. “Because either way, this conversation is completely inappropriate and I’m going to need to report it to my boss.”
I heaved out a sigh as it hit me that I was way out of my scope here. “I’m sorry, you’re right, I shouldn’t have called you.”
“You shouldn’t have,” she agreed. “Look, I get that it’s weird to have your significant other working at the same place as you, and God knows Chris and I had our shaky moments where the lines have blurred between work and personal.
But Zoe is a strong, competent adult and she’s damned good at her job.
You need to back off and respect boundaries. ”
“Understood. Again, I’m sorry.”
I was miserable for the rest of the afternoon, tempted to go home and talk to Zoe to see for myself that she was all right.
But after a long night shift she’d be sleeping most of the day, so I decided to wait and give myself some time to cool down.
It almost worked until I went over there after work and Zoe answered her grandmother’s door with an ace bandage wrapped around her wrist.
“Were you planning on telling me what happened?” I asked, nodding at the bandage.
“Based on the phone call I had with Julia earlier, it seems like you already know what happened.” Her eyes flashed with anger. “Do you know how embarrassing it was for me to have my boss call me and say that my girlfriend was trying to get involved in my job and influence personnel matters?”
Damn Julia and her big mouth. “She shouldn’t have told you that.”
Zoe’s eyebrows winged so high they almost disappeared in her hairline. “Of course she should have. Julia said you demanded that she take me off night shifts.”
“It’s not safe for you to work there at night.”
“It’s perfectly safe. We had a security breach that happened because a newer guest wasn’t paying attention, and I handled it. The way I’ve been trained to.”
“Handled it?” I repeated incredulously. “You were knocked to the ground. You hurt your wrist. What if he had a gun?”
“We would have dealt with it.”
I just stared at her, my blood pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. I needed to keep her safe, why couldn’t she just listen to me?
“I know when I got here I was a bit of a mess, so maybe you haven’t noticed this, but I’m actually a capable adult who’s been taking care of myself for a long time.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you act like you’re my caretaker more than my girlfriend.
You ignore what I want if it contradicts what you think is best, and you’re always trying to swoop in and rescue me.
But I don’t need rescuing, and I don’t need a partner who acts like I’m some obligation. I’m not someone who needs fixing.”
“That’s not fair,” I protested.
“Isn’t it?” she countered. “You drive me when I tell you I don’t want a ride, you slip money in my pockets and act like I just forgot it was there, when we’re going to meet someplace I haven’t been you send me directions instead of letting me look them up myself.
You tried to fill out my job applications for me and research college like you thought I was too stupid to figure it out myself.
And now you’re calling my boss and trying to speak for me. ”
“I’m trying to protect you!”
Zoe’s face turned sad. “I don’t need a protector, I need a partner, and if you can’t see the difference, I’m not sure things are going to work out between us.”
“What are you saying?”
A flash of pain crossed her face. “I’m saying that I love you Gretchen, but I can’t be with you if this is how it’s going to be. I need to be an equal partner in this relationship, not another project you take on.”
She gave me a searching look before she continued, “I know that you learned at an early age that your value was to be as useful as possible to the people around you. But I learned at an early age how to be resilient and take care of things myself. We can’t have it both ways.”
“But…”
“When you’re ready to be a girlfriend instead of a care taker, give me a call. Until then, I think it’s best for us to spend some time apart.”
“I… I don’t understand.”
A mix of emotions was rushing through me: confusion, hurt, and anger. I grabbed onto the last one with both hands.
“Fine, if that’s how you feel, have a nice life.”
Then I stormed off.