Chapter 24
Nothing had ever felt so good.
Or so damn right.
Maks dimly realized that Eden had had another orgasm at the same time as he did. He wished he’d stayed inside her, and it was a miracle that he’d even remembered at the last second that he hadn’t been wearing a condom.
He looked down to see Eden’s face filled with pleasure. The first time he’d seen it, she had taken his breath away. It had been something utterly beautiful to behold, and now, he was getting to see it again. Instead of taking away from his own pleasure, it added to it.
A few moments later, she opened her eyes and smiled up at him.
He returned the grin. Maks could’ve stayed like that for an eternity, but reality soon set in.
He moved off her and used the edge of the blanket to clean his seed from her stomach.
Then he reached for her, happy that she eagerly curled against him once more.
He lightly ran his fingers up and down her back, thinking about how light he felt. As if all the weight he’d been carrying around for years had suddenly vanished. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this…free.
“Thank you for pulling out,” she said into the silence.
He turned and kissed her forehead. “Honestly, I barely remembered until the last minute. That’s how much I wanted you.”
“Same,” she answered with a giggle. “At least one of us was in their right mind.”
“I’ve never felt what I feel with you,” he confessed. “It’s amazing.”
Her head shifted so she could look at him. “I’m afraid I have a confession.”
His gut clenched. He’d opened up and said something he should’ve kept to himself. Was this when it all backfired on him? He really hoped not. Nothing he’d seen with Eden over the past few days alluded to that. “What’s that?”
“I’m officially addicted to you. You’ll never be rid of me. We’ll have to have sex at least once a day. Maybe more.”
Maks laughed and tightened his arm around her. “I definitely like the sound of that.”
She was still smiling when she returned to her original position. “You really are something. If you couldn’t tell by how quickly and easily you brought me to orgasm initially, then the second one should have told you that I’ve not experienced anything like this.”
Neither had he. There was so much he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure how.
For so long, he’d kept his true thoughts to himself, making sure never to get too close to anyone because it could mean his death or theirs.
And yet, he’d ignored his rules and done the exact opposite with Eden.
He knew better than that. Both of their lives were at stake.
It shouldn’t matter how much he craved her.
But it did.
“You got quiet,” she said.
He blew out a breath. “Just thinking.”
“Okay.”
Maks closed his eyes. This was when normal people gave a little insight into what was going through their minds. Or they’d lie, just to make sure their partner didn’t think the worst. What did he do? He didn’t say anything.
And what was that accomplishing? Most likely putting all kinds of thoughts into Eden’s head. He heard it in her voice. She was worried that he regretted what they’d done, when that wasn’t it at all. He was worried about her and how he was going to get them out of this situation with the Saints.
“I’m not used to talking or carrying on meaningful conversations with people,” he explained. “I’ve always said very little unless I needed information. I don’t…share…things.”
“It’s all right. I understand.”
“But it isn’t fine,” he insisted and opened his eyes to watch the firelight dancing on the ceiling of the cave. “We just shared our bodies and have been on the run from killers. You need more from me.”
Eden propped herself up on her elbow and met his gaze. “I do, but I’m also cognizant of the fact that you’ve lived a very different life. You’re focused on keeping us alive, and you’ve done an excellent job so far. I don’t want you to change anything just because I want to talk.”
“I appreciate all of that. However, I think I’m going to need to compromise. For both of us.”
“Then I will, as well,” she stated.
Maks smiled up at her. At every turn, she surprised him with her courage, wit, reasoning, and understanding. She tried to hide it, but he saw her terror. He wouldn’t have blamed her if she wanted to complain about it, but she hadn’t. Not once.
To that end, he pulled her back down against him and said, “I was thinking about you.”
“Me?” she asked, surprise in her voice.
“It’s been a long time since I let my guard down as I have with you. The last time didn’t work out so well.”
Eden was silent for a beat. “I know that shaped your world, and it should have. But on the other hand, you need to let that go. You can’t continue to base all of your decisions and actions on the fact that one woman was swayed by evil people.
I’m not sure you can even blame your girlfriend.
You don’t know what she was presented with.
Obviously, she cared about you, and she did what she thought she needed to do to ensure your safety.
Who says I wouldn’t do the same? Or you, had you been in her position. ”
“I’ve thought about all of that, as well. I forgave her a long time ago. She didn’t know what I did, hadn’t been through the things I had. There was no way she could’ve known what to believe and what to ignore. I lay the entire blame on the Saints. They can be very persuasive.”
“As you should. They recognized your girlfriend as a weak link to get to you.”
Maks felt Eden shiver and pulled the blanket up higher to cover them both. “To allow anyone close to me is to invite death and destruction to both parties.”
“The only thing I know about spies is what I’ve watched in movies.”
“They get some of it right, but not all of it.”
Eden yawned. “That’s probably for the best so not all spy secrets are revealed.”
“Lies are our commodity. We deal exclusively in them. I use different names, different jobs, live different lives. I can’t remember the last time I told someone my true name.”
“Not even the Loughmans?” she asked.
Maks shrugged. “Wyatt knew who I was before, so I never had to tell them. He did.”
“How did it feel to be you again?”
He thought about that for a moment. “I wasn’t really me. Not even then. Wyatt knew who I was, and while I joined them in the battle—as well as their fight against the Saints—I was still undercover.”
“Because you’ve been fighting against everyone since you know the Saints are everywhere. If you hadn’t seen Wyatt and the others fighting the Saints yourself, would you have believed them?”
“No,” Maks answered immediately. “I would’ve feared it was a trap. The Saints do that to people.”
“You’ve had to become the person you are in order to stand against the Saints.
You’ve done what you had to do to survive.
I will never judge you for that, and neither should anyone else.
Few people could’ve done what you did. The strength of will and mind that must have taken staggers me. I couldn’t have done it.”
“I think out of all the people I know, you could have.”
Eden chuckled softly. “Thank you for saying that. I fully embrace the wuss that I am.”
Maks laughed at the unexpected comment. “I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth.”
“Good. I’d hate to be predictable.”
There was no one else Maks would rather be with at this moment than Eden.
She had an unusual and unique way of looking at any situation, no matter how dire.
He viewed the world in all its various shades of gray.
Eden saw it as it was, taking everything in stride and not judging herself, the situation, or anyone else.
“Alexander Maksim Petrov.” He waited a moment as the words sunk in. “That’s the name my parents gave me. I went by Alex growing up, but my family always called me Maks. My team members in the military also called me Maks.”
“It suits you,” Eden said.
“I’ve gone by so many names, I’m not sure anything sticks anymore.”
She shifted her head to look at him. “You went by Maks again this time. Why?”
“It’s a common Russian name. And it was easy. Perhaps that was my first mistake.”
“That’s what I don’t understand. After so long working for both the US and Russia as well as the Saints, how did everything blow up in one day?”
He’d been wondering the same thing. “I don’t have an answer.”
“How close do you think you were to gaining the biggest secrets of the Saints?”
Maks snorted and gave a shake of his head.
“I’ve no idea if it’s one person or a group of people.
The few times I’ve heard anything, it was made to sound as if there was a small group.
The Elders. That could be something allowed out to throw people off looking for information about the Saints.
They’ve done that before, and I know it for a fact because I was in on it. ”
“So, what can we believe?”
“That’s just it, we can’t believe anything we hear.
It has to be facts. It’s why I spent so long gathering as much intel as I did.
The one fact I know is that the Saints have a firm grip on every country around the globe, and they’re going to do anything and everything to ensure that it remains that way. ”
Eden pressed her lips together and looked away. “They won’t ever stop coming for us, will they?”
“Not unless we stop them.”
“Then I need to get somewhere with a secure internet connection. I’ve got to keep looking at the intel to find how and why you were targeted.”
“And by who,” he added.
Eden blew out a breath. “Then there’s the text you got that seems to have set all of this off.”
“It has to involve Luka somehow. I can’t figure out how the old man got my private number or why he would text me.”
“And you’ve no idea what watch yourself means?”
Maks used his free hand to scrub down his face. “It could mean any number of things. My first thought was the Saints, of course, but I quickly dismissed that.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t think Luka knew about them.”
“What if he did?” she pushed.
Maks thought about that for a second. “Everything I’ve dealt with has been about the Saints. I thought it was too easy to connect Luka to them.”
“But you don’t know what he was working on or looking into?”
“Not a clue.”
“Before you rule out the possibility that he discovered something about the Saints, think about that for a moment.”
Maks flattened his lips. “I’ve looked at Luka from every angle. There’s no reason for him to have texted me.”
“Unless he knew you had some kind of connection to the Saints.”
“If he was looking into the group and he thought I worked for them, then I’d be the last person he reached out to.”
Eden rose up on her elbow and said, “Unless he knew you weren’t working for them.”
Maks’ mind went blank. He’d believed he was so far undercover that no one would know what he was doing. Obviously, he’d been wrong. Shit. He needed to go back over everything starting…well, starting at the beginning.
He felt Eden’s eyes on him, and he met her hazel gaze. “If Luka knew I wasn’t working for the Saints, then his message could mean only one thing.”
“And what’s that?” she pushed.
“I’m in danger.”