Chapter 19
Istared at the empty spot Hades had vanished from for a long time.
Emotions were crashing around in my head, that feeling of being separated from something rising and falling inside me.
It didn't matter what Athena had said, I couldn't ignore my past. Not when I was apparently now living in it again.
I almost wished I hadn't seen Hades under the smoke, because now that I had, I couldn't get his image to leave me.
Those fierce cheekbones, sensuous lips, his bulging chest... Every other man I had ever seen paled into nothingness next to him. And it was more than physical attraction. I knew him. I knew that offhand humor, that rich version of his voice.
He kept the orchid alive for you. It's all he had left.
I knew that's what the flower meant. What this room meant. And he had known when I entered it today. He still cares.
Then why did he want me to lose? Surely, if he had another chance of being with the woman he didn't want to leave in the first place, he would welcome it? What had happened? Why had I been made to leave? Frustration welled inside me.
It wouldn't work. I didn't want to live underground, in a place with no proper outside, and a glass conservatory the only garden I could access.
I didn't want to be tied to a man whose dominion was death. I didn't want to live in a world without windows, for gods' sake. He may be beautiful, and I may have a connection to him, but whoever I'd been when this was my home, I wasn't that person anymore.
Hades was right. I should try to enjoy the time I had here as best I could. I scanned the room, looking for a trowel.
I spotted a pile of tools stacked against the glass, and when I went to investigate I found a rusted faucet on the end of a creaky copper pipe in the ground. Good. I had everything I needed to immerse myself in a few hours of gardening, and try to forget about this crazy infatuation.
Skop tried to talk to me a few times while I worked, but I gave him one word answers. Before long I had managed to lose myself to the soil, and the hours flew by.
Too soon, Hecate came into the room, telling me it was time to train. I reluctantly left the conservatory with her, half listening to her berating me for getting my nice clothes “Covered in crap”, but mostly just trying to keep Hades’ face from invading my mind.
“I saw Hades today,” I told her, after we had beaten the shit out of each other for an exhausting hour, and were tucking into roasted beef in my room.
“Oh?”
“And I mean, I saw him. Like under the smoke.”
“Ohhhhh.” She looked at me, a wicked gleam in her eye. “I knew he'd slip up if he spent enough time around you.”
“So is that his true form then?”
“No, if a god showed you his true form you'd die, you're human. But it's the non-lethal version of it.”
“Oh. What does his true form look like?”
“Erm, glowy. And sort of terrifying.”
“Right. So, do you see smoke Hades, or...” I paused, trying to think of what to call non-smoke Hades.
“Hot Hades?” offered Hecate. That worked, I thought, nodding. “I see hot Hades. Everyone who lives or works in the underworld does. But Virgo is one of the four forbidden realms. Hades is by far the most secretive and private of the Gods.”
“So, he must not be enjoying all this Trial stuff being shown to everyone?”
“No. He's not. The gods ran a competition for Immortality a while ago, and each god hosted a Trial.
Hades tried to refuse having his here on Virgo, but Zeus made him.
And I think that's why Zeus is making him hold his Trials for a wife here.
Because Hades made it so clear he didn't want to do it before.”
'Zeus really is a dickhead,” I said.
“Yup.”
“Why does he dislike Hades so much?”
“That's a really long, difficult question. And one Hades could answer better himself.”
“Huh. Maybe you should set up another date,” I said teasingly, but I half hoped she would say yes. I was longing to see him again, even though I knew I shouldn't.
“No way, the ball is tomorrow night, and you don't need any more distractions.
“Fine,” I said on a sigh.
“Hedone is having a dress and mask made specially for you, they'll be here tomorrow.”
“OK.”
“And make sure you take your dagger. It's the only weapon you have that will work against gods, remember that.”
“Why would I need to harm a god?” I asked her, alarmed.
“Persy, are you learning nothing? You must always be prepared.”
I slept badly that night, and for the first time I didn't visit the beautiful garden with the Atlas fountain. Part of me wished I had. Its calming serenity was just what I needed, even if I didn't know who was taking me there.
I sighed as I rolled out of bed, the ceiling lit with the daylight glow telling me it must be morning. The last three or four times I'd woken it had still been covered in twinkling stars.
“So, what's the plan for today?” asked Skop, yawning.
“Finalize the food for the feast, and go over greeting and conversational etiquette,” I told him with a scowl. My idea of a nightmare. If I had my way it would be beef burgers and a cheerful hug, but apparently that didn't cut it if you were trying out for queen of the Underworld.
“I hate this place,” I muttered as I stomped into the bathroom and started the water running in the shower.
“It's not that bad. You know, I was thinking that you should name that dagger Hecate made for you.” I gave him a look from the bathroom door before I closed it and pulled off the long silk camisole I'd slept in.
“Why?” I asked him mentally as I stepped under the water. I instantly felt less bad-tempered, the weary grogginess dissipating as the water flowed over me.
“Because all proper weapons work better if they have names. Hecate made that blade for you, it's one of a kind. And probably magic. You might be able to bond with it if you name it.”
“Oh. OK. What shall I call it?”
“Name it after something you love. Or miss.”
“Light,” I said immediately, without thinking about it. “I'm fed up being underground.”
“You didn't like it much better outside,” Skop retorted.
“That does not count as outside. Zeus's place had a proper outside. Wherever that chasm is...” I tried to think of a word for the still, temperature-less, beige void but gave up.
“There's plenty of light down here.”
“Not real light.”
“Fine. How about... Faesforos?”
“What does that mean?” I asked, and repeated the word aloud. I liked how it sounded.
“It means bringer of light,” Skop answered. A little shiver ran through me, although the water was still hot. Bringer of light. “Maybe you can bring some real light to the underworld,” he said.
“Do you think I can win this, Skop?” I asked him slowly.
There was a long pause.
“I know there's more potential in you than you know there is,” he said eventually.
There was that fucking word again. I hated it. Potential. Always so much potential, but never, ever fulfilled.
“I thought you were here to offer comedic relief,” I sighed. “Not deep and meaningful pep talks.”
“Your wish is my command. Did I tell you about the time Dionysus tricked Poseidon into having sex with a tree?”
The rest of the day with Hedone flew by.
The ball was starting at eight, and she'd packed the day with last-minute preparations.
To my delight, she had decided to celebrate my human, mortal heritage by serving a feast of food from my own world, specifically New York.
Hot-dogs, pastrami sandwiches, smoked salmon bagels, cinnamon rolls, powdered donuts, and more were on the menu, and for the first time I actually began to look forward to the party a little bit.
That was until I had to start practicing how to greet people.
Hedone had persuaded Morpheus to assist, and he entered the grand doors of an empty dining hall over and over again for an hour, looking surprised and delighted to see me each time.
My acting skills were no match for his though, and my awkward hand shakes and uneasy smiles were not up to Hedone's standards at all.
“Watch me do it, darling,” she told me patiently. Morpheus left the room, then re-entered, a cocky look on his handsome face.
“Morpheus, it's such a pleasure to see you,” enthused Hedone, stepping towards him and holding out her hand. He took it gracefully, bending and kissing it.
“I'm honored to have been invited,” he said.
“But of course you were! And may I say, you look magnificent. How are your family?” She managed to keep her voice sincere and sultry, and her eyes were fixed on his the whole time.
She turned to me. “You see, Persephone? Don't sound bored, don't sound over-excited. Just try to be elegant, and regal. Don't shake hands, hold yours out to be kissed, like you're more important than they are.”
I frowned. This was so not my thing. Like not even close. But it was one evening, then it would be over. I could do it.
“Right,” I said.
“Always ask about their family, and never forget that flattery will get you absolutely everywhere in Olympus. Try to pick out something specific to compliment your guests on.”
“OK,” I nodded. “Let me try again.”
Eventually Hedone decided she was satisfied with my level of “enthusiasm and sophistication”. I felt like a total fake, but she said my carefully plastered on smile was acceptable, and I was willing to accept that she knew best.
We ate a brief lunch, consisting mostly of fruit, “so that we had room for the feast”, then we went through table etiquette again, followed by socially acceptable levels of swearing. Apparently the Olympians were entirely exempt from these rules, but the rest of us were expected to abide by them.
“There is one more thing I wanted to talk to you about,” Hedone said to me as we walked back to my room.
“Sure,” I said.
“It's about... well it's about sex.” I stumbled slightly as I looked at her in alarm.
“I'm not expected to—” I started, but she waved her hands quickly.
“No, no, of course not. But you should be aware, when lots of beings with powers get dressed up and drunk together, sex is pretty inevitable. And I don't believe attitudes to it here are quite the same as you'll be used to.”
“Please tell me I'm not attending an orgy,” I groaned. Hedone gave a tinkling laugh.
“No, although they're pretty frequent too. But gods, and demigods for that matter, are very good at disappearing for a short while, then reappearing later.”
“So you're saying that if someone vanishes, they're probably at it somewhere?”
“Yes. Part of the game at these parties is watching for who disappears at the same time.”
“It sounds like bad reality TV,” I muttered. Hedone gave me a small frown, then continued.
'Zeus and Apollo are probably the worst for it, and if Hera is present it can cause sparks to fly. One of your jobs as hostess is to cover for people who have irate or worried partners.”
My mouth fell open.
“I have to cover for folk cheating on their partners? No!”
“It's all part of the politics, I'm afraid. And when Aphrodite does her thing, nobody is really to blame anyway.”
I thought about how Zeus had affected me the previous day, the desire my traitorous body had felt. Did Aphrodite do the same thing?
“Can the gods make someone have sex with them, even if they don't want to?” I asked, aware that my voice was betraying my fear. That was seriously not OK.
“Technically, yes, but it is strictly forbidden.” Some relief washed through me. “You must remember that gods have enormous egos. Most will try to win you over. There is no satisfaction in taking something they haven't won.”
“What did you mean by Aphrodite doing her thing?”
“Ah, she would never make anyone do anything against their will,” Hedone smiled at me. “Quite the opposite. Her presence tends to exaggerate all desires. A tiny crush or curiosity becomes heightened. Hence an increase in wandering eyes and hands.”
That sounded dodgy as hell to me, but I said nothing.
“You'll get used to our ways, I'm sure,” Hedone said as we reached my door. “Try not to worry, and if you can, try to enjoy it.” She laid a hand on my shoulder and I felt a surge of gratitude towards her.
“Thank you so much, for all your help. You really didn't need to give me so much of your time,” I said. An oddly bitter look flitted across the beautiful woman's face.
“Time is a funny thing,” she said quietly. “Good luck, Persephone. I'll see you tonight.”