Chapter Thirty-One It Takes Two
Patty is up incredibly early the following morning — up and dressed while I’m still in my jammies having my first coffee of the day.
‘You do know it’s seven in the morning, not the evening, don’t you?’ I ask through a huge yawn. ‘I thought stars of entertainment didn’t do such ungodly hours.’
Patty isn’t rising to my jibes. She grabs both my hands and sits me down.
‘Jack’s retiring,’ she says with a wild-eyed gaze. I can’t tell whether it’s excitement, terror or bewilderment.
‘He told me last night and I don’t know how I feel. I’m scared and delighted at the same time. Does that make sense?’
I’d like to reply that not only does it make sense but that I managed to guess each of those emotions from just one look, but I don’t. Instead I just nod and squeeze her hands as a good friend should.
‘He’s leaving in the summer when I complete my contract. So the Granny-Okies will be on board for his retirement bash and then after he sorts out things with his own house, he’ll be coming here to live.’
Wow — no wonder she’s stunned. Patty hasn’t lived with a man since her husband died five years ago.
‘He’s coming to live here?’ I ask.
‘His family live in Lancashire, and although it’s not a million miles away, I don’t want to move from here. So eventually, yes, we’ll be back here.’
It hadn’t even occurred to me that my best friend might move away from me and, yes, Lancashire might be less than forty miles away, but it’s not around the corner and that would make a difference. I miss her enough when she’s away singing but the thought of her going permanently is too hard to even contemplate. In fact, I’m so distressed at the thought of Patty leaving me that the more pressing and obvious issue doesn’t strike me until moments later. And then it does.
‘I’m going to have to move out,’ I say, leaving my jaw hanging open — stunned.
‘No, you won’t,’ Patty reassures me. ‘You’ll still have your own room. Although we might need to soundproof it.’
Patty nudges me and winks. That was probably the least reassuring thing she could have said. The very thought of being the third wheel in their love nest is too disturbing for words. I need to get off my backside and find somewhere to live. I’ve drifted for too long.
‘I don’t think there’d be enough soundproofing in the world,’ I reply, trying to keep things light. ‘In fact, if I moved next door I’d probably still hear you two — if the Zoom calls are anything to go by.’
‘Oh, there’s an idea — move next door!’ exclaims Patty. ‘I could buy some cockroaches and feed them through the letterbox, then we could make a cut-price offer when they’re begging to sell.’
‘Highly unethical,’ I tell her. ‘And there is no way I would ever move in somewhere there’d been cockroaches.’
‘A ghost?’ continues Patty. ‘We could get up in the small hours every night and rattle some chains by the window?’
‘That plan fails with either of us managing to get up every night.’ I get a shrug of acknowledgement. ‘No, this has been fabulous and I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to stay with you, but I do need to find somewhere of my own. I’ll pop into the estate agents over lunchtime.’
‘Just don’t go to any photography studio viewings without me,’ she says with a snort of laughter.
I shudder at the memory of what she’s referring to. A viewing I made last year when I first started looking — let’s just say that boudoir photoshoot will be etched on my mind forever.
‘So the reason you’re up early is just excitement?’ I ask, getting back to the first newsworthy event of the day.
‘Partly,’ she says with a little sadness in her voice. ‘And partly because I have to say goodbye to everything here that was Nigel’s. I know I’ve moved on now but I still need to say goodbye to little things and make space for my new life.’
I rub her arm gently. She acts all big and blowsy but deep down my best friend is as soft as the rest of us.
* * *
In the office, Charlie is focussed entirely on finding a wedding venue that fits in with the honeymoon while Josie and I deal with customers.
‘You could have the honeymoon first and come back tanned and relaxed,’ Josie suggests during one of our coffee breaks.
I think that’s a pretty good idea but Charlie obviously hasn’t heard it as he scowls at the computer screen.
‘If you continue like this,’ I tell him, ‘you’ll have frown lines on your wedding photos and you won’t like that.’
Those words horrify him into looking up and feeling his forehead, smoothing it down with the palms of his hands.
‘Do you think I should get a little tweakment?’ he asks us, now stretching out either side of his face.
‘I think you should stop fretting,’ I tell him. ‘You know that Zoe’s hotel has a wedding licence. I could still ask her if she has availability.’
I have offered this before but have been told, in the nicest possible way, that it’s not really ‘different’ enough. I get that, I really do. But as my mother would say, beggars can’t be choosers, which when you think about it, is an incredibly mean expression. However, it seems that Charlie has reached that stage as he reluctantly replies, ‘I suppose there’s no harm in knowing some dates.’
I promise to call Zoe as soon as I get back from the estate agents.
Mercury Travel is quite quiet today so I get off to lunch early and head along to the local office. I’ll register online too but it’s always best to talk things through personally. I firmly believe that if we want shops to stay on the high street then we have to use them as these offices buy lunch from local cafés, take clothing into local dry cleaners and buy dinner from the local shops. It can be a virtuous circle or a downward spiral and the choice really is ours. Happily, Chorlton loves its bohemian reputation and the streets buzz with customers.
‘Angie Shepherd,’ says the agent as he searches through his database. ‘Aha, you were registered with us last year — so you never found the right place?’
‘Not at the right time,’ I tell him. I don’t want to say that I wasn’t ready for my independence and the warm embrace of Patty’s home was far more appealing.
‘I did like the duplex apartment in the converted mansion,’ I say, instead sounding like a woman who has it together. ‘I liked the space and the fact that someone else did the gardening.’
He smiles up at me and says as he types it in, ‘Low-maintenance property required.’
After confirming my details, he hands me the particulars of a couple of properties, which I promise to look at and get back to him.
Leaving the estate agents, I actually feel a little lighter, that I’m ready to take control of my life. Taking control of my business life has not been an issue, I was jumping at the bit to get that in motion, but emotionally I seem to have ricocheted from one person to the next and I can see that now. It’s time to stop being the pinball.
On my way back to Mercury I pick up lunch for the others and a bottle of champagne to take home to Patty tonight. It’s fabulous news that she’s found love and that Jack is moving in; my little family of friends is simply growing.
I walk in waving the goodies and am surprised to see Poppy O’Cherry sitting at Josie’s desk. They turn and call out, ‘I’ll have the champagne but no sarnies, I’m on strictly no carbs.’
I give them a kiss on the cheek and ask what brings them into the office.
‘Even drag artistes take holidays, darling,’ they reply, adjusting the tailored pinstripe suit, which really emphasises their long legs right the way down to the shiny spats. Poppy would look like a gangster if it weren’t for the wavy red bob wig.
‘I’m going for a cross between mobster and moll,’ they explain, catching my glimpse.
‘Stunning — but here I was thinking that at the end of each evening you were just packed away in a magical trunk with your dresses,’ I say, smiling.
‘Wouldn’t mind being packed away with his magical trunks.’ Poppy nods towards the door where Peter is standing.
Charlie walks up to him and, looking exasperated, falls into his arms.
‘What’s up there?’ asks Poppy.
I explain about the wedding plans collapsing and before I’ve put the full stop on the sentence, Poppy is up and out of their chair and standing in the middle of the room with their arms outstretched.
‘Gentlemen,’ they say. ‘Do not despair, for your fairy drag mother is here to save the day.’
The guys look over wearily.
‘Seriously,’ continues Poppy. ‘I’m a wedding celebrant, and you two lovelies shall have the most magical day or I wasn’t crowned Ms Lovely Legs Butlins 2019.’
Poppy picks up a pencil from the desk and waves it through the air. I can almost hear the Disney sparkles follow its path.
* * *
The three of them move into the break room to continue the conversation, leaving Josie and I in the calm quiet of the shop.
‘Do you think they’ll go for it?’ asks Josie.
‘I don’t know,’ I say. ‘As much as they like Poppy, I think they were aiming for romantic rather than theatrical.’
‘I’d let Poppy officiate,’ continues Josie and I look at her trying to hide a tiny surge of panic.
‘Are you and Matt . . . ?’ I ask.
‘Noooo — but if we were, then I’d ask Poppy,’ she says. ‘It would be seriously cool.’
I know it’s irrational but I’m hypersensitive to all my friends marrying and moving in together. I love them all dearly but am starting to feel like a spare part and would at least like to have something of my own before they’re all settled down.
When Peter and Charlie emerge an hour later, they have broad smiles on their faces.
‘It’s all sorted?’ I ask with eager excitement.
‘Go on, tell us. What sort of wedding will it be?’ asks Josie.
Poppy appears and simply swipes an imaginary zip across their lips.
‘It’ll be memorable, and you lot need to glam up to the nines,’ is all they’ll say before sauntering out of the shop, hips swinging.
I watch as Poppy strides along the high street, where literally everyone they pass turns to look and a few people ask for selfies. It really does take incredible bravery and confidence to be yourself.
Peter insists on Charlie coming home with him immediately, saying that he knows his fiancé is incapable of keeping any secrets.
‘Damn,’ says Josie. ‘We were banking on Charlie breaking after one bout of tickling.’
‘I doubt it would take that much, judging by his expression,’ I add. ‘You’re just bursting to tell us, aren’t you?’
He nods; his little cheeks are flushed and his eyes wide. This man is so excited he would have spilled everything the second Peter was out of the door.
We have a late-afternoon flurry of customers booking last-minute Easter breaks to keep Josie and I busy. As I arrange them, noting the dates, I realise Patty will be away and I’ll be in her big house on my own. I know I need to make more effort with my other friends so that I can build a social life without her both for that month and for when she comes back with Jack.
As soon as we lock the door to the shop, I call Caroline and ask if she fancies going for a drink or to see a film one night.
‘I’d love to,’ she says. ‘Not this week as Ed is whisking me away somewhere — can I call you when I get back?’
I say of course and hope that she has a lovely time.
Then I look up Sarah’s number and check the time before calling her. It’s nearly six so she should be closing up too by now.
‘Hello, Angie,’ she says, sounding breathless. ‘How lovely to hear from you.’
It boosts my ego to hear that someone is really pleased I’ve called. Perhaps she’s in the same situation I am and we can become best buddies. I imagine us strolling along the canal laughing together.
(I have a tendency to do this — one tiny indication that things are going well and I extrapolate to the nth degree. If the man in the florist smiles at me I instantly picture myself as his partner, fixing him a coffee at 5 a.m. before he heads off to the flower market. He always leaves me a rose on the pillow too. I think this flaw in my personality comes from believing my childhood book of fairy tales was in fact an encyclopaedia).
Anyway, getting back to Sarah, we exchange some pleasantries about how busy our days have been and then I ask her if she’d like to go out.
‘Aggh,’ she replies, bringing my best buddy dream to a crashing halt. ‘I’d love to but you’ll never guess what? I’ve got a date! Can I call you later?’
She sounds so happy that I shouldn’t begrudge her and I don’t. I repeat what I’ve just said to Caroline and after the call, scroll through my contacts. Yep — that’s it confirmed. Every single friend I have is officially coupled up.