Chapter 1
Collins
"Collins, where the fuck are you? That's three shifts you've missed. No call, no show. Ruby can't cover for you forever. You want this job or not? Call me back."
Delete.
I sink onto the mattress on the floor—the only furniture Jaxson and I could afford. The sheets still smell faintly of him, no matter how many times I've washed them. Or maybe that's just my imagination, my body refusing to forget what my mind is desperate to erase.
The nausea hits without warning. I barely make it to the bathroom, heaving into the toilet though there's nothing in my stomach to expel. Just bitter bile and regret.
Eight weeks pregnant. Alone. Broke.
My hand shakes as I splash water on my face, avoiding my reflection. I know what I'll see—hollow eyes, pale skin, a ghost of the girl who arrived in Memphis with a guitar and a dream.
A sharp knock startles me.
"Collins? I know you're in there. Open up."
Ruby.
I consider pretending I'm not home, but what's the point? She'll just keep knocking.
When I open the door, Ruby's fiery curls are pulled back in a messy ponytail, dark circles under her eyes that match my own.
"Jesus Christ," she says, taking in my appearance. "You look like shit."
"Nice to see you too."
She pushes past me into the apartment, wrinkling her nose at the mess. Takeout containers I haven't had the energy to throw away. Clothes scattered across the floor. Dishes piled in the sink.
"Pete's about to fire your ass," she says, setting down a paper bag on the counter. "I've covered for you as much as I can."
I wrap my arms around myself, staring at the floor. "I can't go back there."
"Collins—"
"I can't, Ruby." My voice cracks. "Everyone knows what happened. They all know he left me. Took my songs." I swallow hard. "I can't stand the way they'll look at me. The pity. The whispers."
Ruby's face softens. "Nobody's whispering. They're pissed at him, not you."
"It doesn't matter." Shame burns hot in my chest. "I was stupid enough to trust him. To believe in him. I can't walk back in there and face everyone knowing what a fool I was."
"You weren't a fool," Ruby says fiercely. "You were in love. He was the asshole."
I laugh, a hollow sound that hurts my throat. "Doesn't change the fact that I can't pay rent."
She spots the eviction notices, picking one up with a frown. "Collins..."
"I'm fine."
"Like hell you are." She opens the paper bag, pulling out a container of soup and a bottle of prenatal vitamins. "When's the last time you ate?"
I shrug, unable to remember.
Ruby sighs, pushing me toward the small table in the corner. "Sit. Eat. Before you pass out."
The soup smells good—chicken noodle from the diner down the street. My stomach growls, reminding me it exists.
Ruby bustles around the apartment while I eat, washing dishes, picking up clothes, restoring some semblance of order to the chaos. Neither of us speaks for a long time.
"What are you going to do?" she finally asks, sitting across from me. "About the baby?"