3. The Worst Happens #3
I watch as June glances behind her, clearly checking to see if I’m watching as she slips out the door. Not even thirty seconds go by before Brennan does the same.
So much for her spending the night hanging out with me. A frustrated exhale escapes me. If I’d known Rory and June were going to dip on me, I would have just stayed home with Reese.
As I sip my drink, my mind begins to spiral.
First, I see Liam.
Then Brennan.
I wonder if the third pain in my ass is around here somewhere?
As if only the thought of him could summon him to appear, a heavy, far too tight grip grasps my shoulder.
“IF IT ISN’T AUbrEY FUCKING HEARTEATER!”
Morgan Reid…
Right on cue.
I turn to find him glowering down at me.
Though his best friend and I broke up, he doesn’t treat me any differently, other than nicknaming me Hearteater—but I know that’s his own way of getting back at me.
Reid might be a hardass on the ice or to strangers around campus, but he’s got a heart of gold hidden beneath his tough exterior.
Don’t try to convince Reese of that, though. She’s definitely not his biggest fan. It’s funny…he’s the only person I’ve ever seen make Reese Vaughn mad.
Takes a special kind of asshole apparently.
“Reid,” I acknowledge finally. “Looking like the same arrogant ass I remember.”
He chuckles, the dark waves of his hair a stark contrast to his light skin tone. I swear his eyes sweep across the bar, like he’s anxiously checking to see if Reese is going to appear from thin air and beat his ass for talking to me.
Out of Liam’s friends, he is the one I miss the most. Not only was he a great friend to Liam, but he had also become a dear friend to me. A stark contrast to Brennan, who outright ignores me. I could be choking, and I’m certain he would let me suffocate and die.
Reid takes the seat next to me. I pinch my nose. Eyeing him. “Thought you were giving up the smokes?” He flips me the bird, ordering another beer. I don’t think he needs it—he reeks of beer and cigarettes already.
My fingers find my hair, twirling a piece as I grapple with the idea of telling him I saw Liam tonight.
The silence between us stretches until I finally admit, “I saw him.” I clear my throat. “Well, actually, I ran into him…like literally.”
Reid takes several long gulps, his dark brows raising as if he’s thinking of what all this implies. His eyes frantically search out the bar, as if immediately concerned for Liam and his whereabouts. But I guess after almost watching your best friend die, he’s allowed to be on edge.
“He bolted as soon as he laid eyes on me,” I utter softly, wondering if he can hear my soft words over the crowds.
Reid exhales, just once, clearly relieved. “Shit.” He curses. “This is the first time I’ve gotten him to come out with us.”
I know it shouldn’t concern me. But you just don’t stop caring for the people you love.
Loved, my brain corrects.
“Are you sure that was a good idea?” I take a look around the bar, at people drinking and smoking.
“His therapist has been encouraging him to socialize. He ordered water, and I kept an eye on him. But you know as well as I do that the alcohol wasn’t the problem. It was a mix of everything else.”
I frown. “Yeah. I was the problem.”
He sighs, shaking his head. “Don’t say that fucking bullshit around me.”
And though we’ve had this conversation more than once, I blurt, “I tried, Reid. I did all I could, but I—” I suddenly feel the need to explain myself for the thousandth time—of why I had to move on, why I had to break things off with him, how I still blame myself for leaving him when he needed someone the most.
I’ll never not feel responsible.
Reid shakes his head, interrupting my thoughts.
“You did what you had to. You tried. We all did. How were you supposed to know that he’d go and—” he cuts himself off, clearing his throat.
“It wasn’t your fault—what happened. Things with you all hadn’t been good for a while.
Even I could see that. The Liam I know wouldn’t have wanted you to be unhappy, to stay with him just because he was in a bad place.
What happened, what he did, they are his demons—not yours. ”
I nod. My breathing suddenly feels too rapid, like a rock has been placed over my heart, and my body is doing all it can to remove it.
“He’s better.” He rises from the barstool, “We’ll get him back…eventually.”
“REID!” Someone calls from behind, attempting to pull him back to the pong table. He ignores them for just a second, just long enough for me to end our conversation.
“Thanks for keeping an eye on him.” I choke, clearing my voice.
Reid nods, just once, before checking his phone. When he glances back up, he offers a final smile before the crowd closes in on him and blocks my view.
I pay my tab and decide to call it tonight. I remain positive, allowing myself to feel proud of going out and making the most of my last year here.
Putting my coat back on, I step back out into the winter’s night. I can’t help but compare the frigid conditions to those of Liam and I. Or at least that’s how it feels: each of us frozen in the past.