Chapter 12
ZOE
Zoe had trouble looking at Nathan. He was driving, hands tapping against the steering wheel in time with the country song that had just started playing on the radio, his attention focused on the road ahead. He looked confident and relaxed, as though they’d just had a perfectly normal conversation.
It hadn’t been a normal conversation for Zoe.
Not at all. She hardly ever talked about her mother, even with her father.
Katherine was her best friend, and even she didn’t know the details of how Zoe’s mother had died.
Yet Nathan had found Zoe in a moment of fear and vulnerability, and instead of judging her, he’d drawn out her story and given her space to talk about her mother a little.
Then he’d hugged her. Zoe still remembered the feeling of his firm chest against her cheek and the way his arms had wrapped around her. She’d felt safe. Seen.
It was all very unusual, and that made Zoe uncomfortable. How would she go back to being professional with Nathan after he’d seen her cry and comforted her?
Taking a deep breath, Zoe focused on the road ahead, too. Just because she’d shared a tender moment with him didn’t mean she could lose her drive. Tomorrow, she’d be back in his office, making sure she got the shots she needed for a successful pitch. She couldn’t let this shake her.
The truck wound up a hill before Nathan pulled over by the side of the road.
“We have to walk from here,” he explained, getting out of the car. Zoe followed his lead. Her practical flats weren’t exactly made for hiking, but she could walk a little. And she definitely wasn’t going to show any more weakness to Nathan after the moment they’d shared.
Nathan led the way down a narrow dirt trail.
The sky was starting to dim into the bright pinks and soft oranges of sunset, but there was still enough light to pick her way over the roots and stones in the path.
They climbed past broad-leafed trees and ferns so large Zoe thought they’d have looked more at place in a movie about dinosaurs than here.
Eventually, the trees opened into a clearing. Nathan climbed the last few feet until the ground leveled out into a grassy opening with a bench in the center. Zoe followed and gasped as she took in the view.
The clearing was at the very top of a hill.
In front of them, the leafy rolling hills of rural Vermont spread out below them.
A river reflected the sunset somewhere far below.
In the distance, Zoe could make out the shape of mountains — she hadn’t known that Vermont even had mountains.
The sky above was streaked with the bright pastels of sunset, and far below, the town of Islingburn was nestled into a valley.
“Wow.” Zoe whistled. Nathan turned to her, grinning.
“I know, right? Come on, let’s sit.”
They crossed to the bench and sat, close enough that Zoe could feel Nathan’s warmth, but not so close that they were actually touching. Zoe folded her hands in her lap, unable to look away from the view in front of her but very aware of Nathan beside her.
“I’ve never seen anything like this.”
Nathan leaned back, crossing one leg over the opposite knee.
“This is where I always come when I get overwhelmed by life down there.” He gestured at Islingburn and its surroundings.
“I used to come here with my father. We’d hike all the way up from town and bring snacks, usually cookies and lemonade that my mom made.
It was about eight miles, depending on the route we took, four of those mostly uphill. ”
“You were outdoorsy,” Zoe suggested.
“You could say that.” Nathan smiled. “Although it gets a little nerdier, because when I was older, we’d bring flashcards and study for my AP exams, then the SATs, then the MCATs, then my intern exam…”
“That’s sweet.” Zoe smiled, her gaze drifting across the horizon. “Was your father a good tutor?”
“Definitely. He was the best. We saw things in the same way, so he always knew how to explain everything in the best way possible.”
“You must miss him.”
“I do.” Nathan smiled. “But being up here, I feel closer to him. And I feel like I can look at the bigger picture.”
“Right — you said you come up here when things get overwhelming.”
Nathan sighed and, out of the corner of her eye, Zoe saw him slip off his glasses and start to polish them.
“Things get pretty overwhelming sometimes,” he admitted.
“My father wasn’t just a great dad to me.
He was also a town legend here. Everyone has a story about how he saved their life, or their friend’s or grandmother’s or son’s life.
He started the clinic that I run now, so mostly he’d catch some health issues early or something, but there were a few babies he helped deliver in emergencies, and a few times he saved people from choking or gave them CPR.
Plus, he was the quarterback of the high school football team, won our annual fishing competition three years in a row, and never missed a town hall meeting. ”
“He sounds amazing,” Zoe said.
“He was,” Nathan agreed. “But that also means that I have some pretty big shoes to fill. I need to be the best all the time, because if I’m not, I won’t just be hurting my reputation, but his legacy, too.”
“I’m sure people don’t expect you to be perfect,” Zoe said.
“No, but I expect myself to be,” Nathan replied. He glanced at her. “That’s why the clinic is so personal to me. It’s why, when we have financial struggles, I worry so much. It’s why I’ll sacrifice anything for my patients. And it’s why I’ve been a bit of a stick-in-the-mud.”
Zoe winced at hearing her words repeated to her. “I’m sorry. That was harsh of me. I know you’re just trying to do your best for your patients.”
“It’s okay. I just want you to understand that I’m not trying to be difficult. I’m trying to live up to my father’s legacy.”
Zoe bit her lip. A little of the awkwardness she’d felt after sharing something so personal faded, now that Nathan was sharing personal things with her, too. It didn’t feel like she’d spilled her secrets to a client anymore, but like she was talking with… a friend.
“I know.” She glanced at him. “Maybe we can both try to be a little more flexible.”
“I think we can.” Nathan nudged her shoulder with his own. “I’ll try to smile for pictures.”
“Okay, because, seriously, you have a great smile,” Zoe said. “But in pictures, you look, at best, like the Joker.”
Nathan chuckled. “I deserve that.” He turned to her and, in an excellent Joker voice, quoted, “Why so serious?”
Zoe laughed. This man who was sharing his past with her, laughing, and quoting superhero movies was completely different from the rude doctor she’d gotten to know before.
“I see why your patients like you, you know,” she said. “You really have a way with them, especially the kids.”
“Thanks.” Nathan smiled, and Zoe could see that the compliment meant a lot to him. “I try. And I really do see how great you are at your job. I just don’t want the show to become about scandals and love affairs — I want to show the importance of the work I do and the beauty of Islingburn.”
“I bet we can figure out a way to do that,” Zoe said. She looked back at the gorgeous sunset over the rolling hills. “Islingburn really is beautiful. It’s nothing like New York.”
“Have you always lived there?” Nathan asked.
“Uh-huh. I was born in Brooklyn and moved to Manhattan later, but I’ve always lived in the city. There, the views are beautiful, too, but they’re more about skyscrapers and art than rolling hills and little diners.”
“I’ve never been,” Nathan admitted. “To New York City, I mean.”
“Really?” Zoe turned to him, surprised. “Why?”
“I love Vermont.” Nathan chuckled. “You’re going to think I’m even more of a stick-in-the-mud now, but I feel like I have everything I need right here.
” He swept his hand to encompass the town and the view.
“I went to college in Burlington and medical school in Boston, but I always just wanted to come back here.”
“I can’t imagine living anywhere but New York,” Zoe admitted. “It’s a bit of an adjustment for me, being here. The air smells funny, and the people are way too nice.”
Nathan laughed. “Too nice? There’s no such thing. And I’ve been plenty rude.”
“A little,” Zoe agreed, nudging his shoulder. “But not by New York standards.”
“You’re really not selling New York to me,” Nathan said.
“I’m not trying to.” Zoe smiled. “But seriously, thanks for telling me about your dad. He does sound great, and I really think he’d be so proud of you.”
“I hope so,” Nathan said. “Hey, what about your dad? Do you see him much?”
“Not really.” Zoe sighed. This was another topic she usually skated over, but this was an evening of sharing, apparently.
“It was hard on both of us, losing my mom, and we had trouble talking after that. I think we were scared of losing each other maybe, or maybe it just didn’t feel right without my mom there.
Anyway, when I went to college, he started dating again and ended up getting remarried.
His new wife is lovely, but I don’t see them much.
It’s easier for everyone, I think. What about your mom? ”
“She lives in Islingburn still,” Nathan said.
“And we see each other for a family dinner every Sunday along with my aunts and uncles and cousins. And we run into each other pretty often around town. I love her, and we’re close, but my dad was kind of the center of our family, and without him, things just seem out of balance. ”
“Yeah.” Zoe nodded. “I understand that.” She smiled. “What a pair of sad sacks we are, huh?”
Nathan smiled back and ran a hand through his hair until it stuck up a little.
“Yeah, we are.” For some reason, Zoe imagined him running his hand through her hair, and her breath caught a little.
Until this evening, they’d been at odds with each other almost constantly, but now, it was hard to look at Nathan without seeing everything she now knew about him.
“Oh, hold still.”
“What?” Zoe asked, her train of thought broken. She froze. “Is there a bear?”
Nathan laughed. “No, but you have a ladybug on your cheek.”
“What?” Zoe asked again. Her chest tightened, but she forced herself to stay still. “Get it off, get it off.”
Nathan lifted a hand and brushed one finger against her cheek.
The pad of his finger was rough — Zoe guessed from washing his hands so much at the clinic — but his touch was gentle.
Waves of warmth spilled across her cheek as her knees weakened.
Zoe forgot all about the ladybug as her eyes met Nathan’s.
His soft blue eyes were focused on her cheek, and from this close, Zoe could see a dusting of five o’clock shadow across his strong jawline.
Then he pulled away, the ladybug balanced on the tip of his finger, and Zoe let out a breath.
“Thank goodness.”
“See?” Nathan held up the ladybug. “It’s tiny.”
“Yeah, but it’s a bug.” Zoe shivered and he laughed again.
“A ladybug. Don’t tell me you’re scared of them.”
“Just a little.”
The ladybug flapped its wings and motored off into the dusk. Nathan and Zoe both watched it go before turning to each other, and Zoe’s breath caught again. They were still angled towards each other and sitting very close.
“Zoe…” Nathan said, and her chest tightened at the way her name sounded on his lips.
At their first meeting, Zoe had told him that she didn’t date clients.
She’d known he wasn’t trying to make the moves on her, but she’d wanted to be clear that she was a professional, always.
Now, though, he did seem to be making moves on her.
He was looking at her like she was more beautiful than the sunset.
And this time, Zoe didn’t mind. This time, she had trouble focusing. He was so close.
“We should go back before it gets dark,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
All she wanted was to bridge the remaining few inches between them and feel his lips on hers.
The evening they’d spent together, and the personal details they’d shared, made her want more.
Even though she knew she couldn’t have it.
Nathan took her words at face value, though. “Of course.” He pulled back, every bit the gentleman, and got to his feet. “Let’s go.”
Zoe followed him. She was the one who’d said they needed to go, and she’d been right. After all, this show was still her best chance at saving her career, and she needed to stay professional.
Still, a flicker of disappointment pressed against her heart.
She mentally replayed the brush of his fingertip against her cheekbone as they picked their way back down the path.
It was darker now, harder to see where she should step.
Still, Zoe managed to make it back to the place they’d left the truck without incident.
Smiling, she picked up her pace a little — and immediately tripped over a root.
As she toppled forward, Nathan, through some impressive reflexes she hadn’t known he possessed, whirled around and caught her. He gently set her back on her feet, his broad, strong hands holding her upper arms as he looked down at her.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Zoe was more embarrassed than injured. “I’m fine.”
He glanced down and caught sight of her shoes. “Oh, you weren’t dressed for this. Sorry.”
“No, it’s fine.” Zoe lifted her gaze from her shoes to Nathan’s face. “I’m not hurt or anything.”
“How about your ankle?” Nathan asked.
“That’s fine, too.”
“I should take a look. You might have twisted it when you tripped.”
Despite Zoe’s protests that she was fine, he led her over to the truck and helped her sit on the bed.
Then he knelt down, not seeming to care about the dirt and pine needles that would surely stick to his pants, and examined her foot.
He slipped off her shoe, setting it on the ground, then gently ran his fingers up and down her ankle.
Zoe flushed. When he gently pressed her ankle, she shivered at his light touch on such a sensitive place.
He was so focused on her foot that he didn’t seem to notice her watching him.
She took in the firm angles of his face, the thin line of concentration between his eyes, and the way he tucked his lip between his teeth ever so slightly.
If she had her camera now and snapped a picture, it could easily feature on the poster for the “Hottest Doctor Alive.”
After a moment, Nathan straightened up. If he sensed anything about her borderline inappropriate thoughts, he didn’t let on.
“Everything looks fine,” he said, holding out a hand to help her down.
“That’s what I said,” Zoe reminded him.
“You were right.” He winked and circled towards the cab of the truck. “You’re staying in the B&B, right? I can drop you off.”
“Okay, thanks.” Zoe followed him, but as she got back into the truck and fastened her seatbelt, the only thing she could think was, I should have let him kiss me.