Chapter 2
Chapter Two
When life hands you lemons — throw them at your enemies!
Tips and tricks for every situation from divorce lawyer Connor Stone
Judging by your face, you bit into every single one! - Rachel
Wait, you bet what now?”
“You need to yell softer.”
“You should talk…” Cian shook his head in disbelief and leaned back in his office chair. The Irishman was 33% his best friend, 66% his business partner, and always a fucking pain in the ass. “Fuck, Connor. Everyone always says you can keep a cool head. But this!”
Well everyone had obviously never been confronted by Rachel James! Yes, he had gotten a little worked up. And usually calmed down just as quickly, but just thinking about the couples' therapist's condescending expression… Shit, his blood was still boiling.
“God.” Cian groaned and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “I knew I should have gone over to speak to Maddie!”
“Maddie wasn’t the fucking problem!” Connor growled, slamming his fist against the coffee machine, which immediately began to whir and brew obediently. That was exactly what machines (and most humans) did in his presence — followed his damned orders! “I made a bet with her sister.”
Cian frowned in confusion. “With Lucy? She’s taken. Hey, wait. Maddie is too! Did she break up with Matt? I thought they were getting married.”
“What the hell?” He stared at Cian in disbelief as he roughly shoved a cup under the machine.
“Where do you get your information? I heard the name Lucy for the first time today. But I’m not talking about her.
I got into a fight with Rachel.” God, there wasn't just one, but three James women. He was the victim of the universe’s particularly bad joke.
“Ah.” Cian nodded in surprise. “Rachel, the missing sister. I thought she was a myth. You know, like Bigfoot. Or Greek demigods…”
“I know the definition of myth, thank you very much!” he replied, annoyed. “How was Rachel missing?”
Cian shrugged. “Well, she’s the sister who was never here. The one who has lived forever in Chicago.”
Unbelievable. Did this guy write the Wikipedia article on the James family or something? “How the hell do you know that?”
His friend grinned broadly and clasped his hands smugly behind his neck.
“You’re Mr. Hot-and-Stuck-Up, I’m Mr. Charming-Innocent.
I don’t need any other magic. I don't have to sprinkle Match Me! with holy water or throw garlic at them in the hopes they burst into flames. Hailey and Maddie just talk to me.”
Right. Everyone liked Cian. He obtained information as easily as winning a contest for the most likable smile, whereas Connor wasn’t even allowed to enter.
That didn’t actually bother Connor in the slightest. He wasn’t paid to be likable — and in his experience, as soon as you showed any signs of being nice, you were mercilessly exploited.
“You’re allying yourself with the enemy, O’Leary!” he stated dryly.
“And you’re slowly becoming a Disney villain when it comes to Match Me!, Stone,” Cian replied, unimpressed. “You know what your beloved goddaughter said at dinner the other day? You reminded her of Flynn Rider.”
“Who? Sounds like an old chocolate bar.”
“He’s the guy from the movie Tangled!”
“There’s a guy in Tangled? I thought it was about hair and singing.”
Cian snorted. “Flynn is the man Rapunzel falls in love with.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound like me at all. I don’t seduce innocent women.”
“My point is, Flynn is an arrogant, self-absorbed bastard who wants to do everything on his own, and his dream is to become super rich. Until he falls in love and realizes that other things in life are important too. Ada is convinced that all you have to do to finally be happy is find your Rapunzel.”
With his eyes narrowed, Connor paused and stared at Cian.
Unless Rapunzel was in his coffee maker or lying on his desk, he probably wouldn’t find her.
“You let your daughter watch too much nonsense — and I am happy.” Happy enough, at least. He had a job he liked, a family he loved, and a ten-second commute because he’d bought the house in which their law firm was located.
He regularly had fantastic sex and, sometimes, even halfway decent conversations with the women afterward.
There was nothing he could complain about.
But since that bastard Cian would surely find something he didn’t want to hear, he hastily added, “You’re getting off topic.
Rachel isn’t missing anymore. She’s here. ”
“Did she move?”
“How would I know?”
“You just talked to her!”
Hmm, not really. Connor rarely talked. He debated. He argued. He yelled. And with Rachel…he’d done all three.
“Her living situation wasn’t discussed. All I found out about her is that she’s just as delusional as her sister!
” he growled. She had absolutely nothing else in common with Madison.
Maddie hated confrontations and was simply a sweet, somewhat shy person who longed for harmony.
He knew the type. Those were the clients he could do the most for because they hated arguing and wouldn’t stand up for themselves.
He happily took on the role of the asshole who got them what they deserved from their stingy spouses.
So, personally, he had nothing against Maddie at all.
But Rachel…she was of a whole different caliber.
She had absolutely no problem going on the offensive.
He could tell she was practiced at arguing.
Of course, she was a fucking couples' therapist. God. He found himself fighting a smile. In a different scenario, he would have been almost impressed by how easily she’d kept up with him, even though he made millions a year putting opposing lawyers under pressure. In a different scenario.
If only she hadn’t been defending her stupid agency and messing up his plan!
“Oh, I’m looking forward to meeting her,” Cian remarked with a grin. “Anyone who can irritate you that much deserves a free drink and a clammy handshake. What does Rachel look like anyway?”
He blinked. “What?”
“I’m curious!”
“She looks like a…” – like a very hot, annoying – “…woman.” He turned away and took a sip of his third coffee of the morning. Meeting women who looked elegant even in dirty Crocs, whose jutting chins combined with their alert green eyes screamed attack, required a higher caffeine intake.
“Man, your spare descriptions would make Hemingway envious,” his colleague remarked, rolling his eyes. “But seriously, you have to stop waging war with love!”
“I’m not. Didn’t you hear what the bet was about?”
He snorted. “Ah, yeah. The stupid bet you won’t keep.”
Connor slammed his coffee down on Cian’s dark mahogany desk so hard that it spilled.
“Hey! Mess up your own desk.”
“I meant it. I’m going on five dates to force Match Me! to be honest with their clients.”
Cian’s eyes widened in alarm. “No. You just said that to piss her off.”
“I shook hands with her.”
“What? But you only shake when…”
“I know. And you're always nagging me about finding a serious relationship. I’m merely fulfilling your wish.”
“Are you for real? You’re absolutely the wrong person for this bet!” Cian exclaimed incredulously, jerking his hands away from his neck. “If you’re so keen on losing, play a game of darts with me! But don’t bet our law firm’s door for advertising!”
He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I won’t lose. I never lose.”
“Well, first off, in a divorce, both parties lose. Second, Connor, no offense, but your closest relationship is…well, with me. And I hate to tell you, but things are going badly. Extremely badly. You forgot our anniversary.”
Snorting, Connor raised one corner of his mouth. “I did not. I gave you flowers, remember? Fifteen is a special number after all.” He had met Cian while studying law at Harvard and hadn’t been able to get rid of him since.
“They weren’t my favorite flowers.”
“Only because carnivorous plants don’t do well in an office setting. And you’re acting like I’m incapable of relationships.”
Cian nodded seriously. “I’m glad you finally understand what I’m getting at.”
“I can be in a relationship!”
“Oh yeah? But you never have been in one.”
Connor blinked, irritated. “Because I haven’t wanted to be.”
“And you still don’t, or have I missed something? You don’t want to fall in love, but that couples' therapist probably does.”
He wasn’t so sure about that. Connor knew a bluff when he saw one.
And Rachel had blinked a little too often at the thought of finding the love of her life.
No, it would be a fair fight. It was really just a matter of who gave up first, or who could act better after the five dates.
He didn’t want to brag, but he’d been forced to pretend to his mother and siblings for twenty years, so he’d had practice.
“I have healthy relationships,” he stated firmly. “With you and Gareth, with Ada, my siblings…”
“You mean the siblings who live on the other side of the country? The ones you call every few years and visit at Christmas?”
He sighed and closed his eyes. Yep, Cian always found something he didn’t want to hear. “I love them. They love me. I’d be there for them if they needed me and they for me. We all know that. That’s what matters.”
“No, it’s not,” Cian said quietly.
Connor pressed his lips together. No, it wasn’t.
His best friend sighed heavily. “Look. I’m merely stating that you’re good at picking up women, but not at keeping them, and…”
“Oh, I love that I’m showing up during this part of your conversation,” came a voice from the entrance, and the next moment, the door closed with a dull thud.