Chapter 9 #3
“It doesn’t matter,” he replied angrily.
“I want a lot of things, like to slap that smug grin off Gareth’s face because it fucking pisses me off.
But I won’t because his pretty face is all the poor bastard has.
” That is, apart from the millions in his bank account.
“So it’s irrelevant if I want Rachel. I’m not going to do anything about it because I’m looking for a woman for a serious relationship.
” Right, he wasn't looking for someone to finger-fuck in an alleyway until she came and came and he was so incredibly hard it hurt.
Okay. He had to pull himself together.
“Wait. So you’re really serious about the bet?” Gareth asked, frowning. “You want to settle down with the next woman you like and have a few kids?”
“I definitely don’t want to settle down, and I’ll have to think about the kids thing. But, otherwise...why not? It's time to try this relationship thing everyone thinks is so great.”
Gareth stared at him as if Connor had picked up the goat dung next to his shoe and thrown it.
“I told you,” Cian said impatiently.
“And I didn’t believe you. You're always talking nonsense,” Gareth replied, defending himself. “Like that time you said you’d roll your own oatmeal.”
“It would be healthier for Ada.”
“But not for our sanity,” Connor said sharply. “You’re as impatient as Ada at Christmas.”
“I made oatmeal.”
“Three times.”
“I’d call that a success,” Cian said contentedly. “But Connor’s secretly hoping Rachel will give up before he has to get serious.”
Gareth frowned. “She doesn’t seem like the kind of woman who gives up easily. Trust me, I know the signs. She looked like my sister when one of our players said he could recite more digits of pi than she could.”
Connor rubbed his eyes. “She won’t give up,” he confirmed. His old plan was moot. “But I don’t have to fall in love to find a girlfriend I can have a serious relationship with.”
Cian raised an eyebrow. “Hmm. I think there are a lot of people who would disagree with you there.”
“Not me,” Gareth said.
“No, no one here expected that.” Cian snorted. “We both know that your new relationship with that opera singer is your absolute dream situation because she doesn’t expect any feelings!”
“I’m just saying.” He shrugged. “Relationships don’t have to be based on love to work. But I would recommend that you stop having sex with the couples' therapist next door on the side, because then you'd be treating both women like shit. No woman likes that.”
“I’m starting to think I attract emotionally mangled friends,” Cian added to the conversation.
“As if you’re any better,” Connor said, annoyed.
“Well, at least no one has to tell me that a relationship without love is a shitty relationship!” His expression hardened.
“You know, I’m the fucking expert on this, so listen to me when I tell you: Fall in love first. Then consider getting serious.
Don’t look for a woman because you want to win a bet.
Or because you think it’s time, just because your thirty-fifth birthday is approaching — yes, I’m looking at you, Gareth!
Jesus. Connor is already past thirty-five!
But I also agree with Gareth, Connor: Don’t be an asshole.
Whatever you’re doing with Rachel, stop!
She deserves better than screwing some guy who’s taking away her chance at something real. ”
“I’m not screwing Rachel!” he said, annoyed, a knot forming in his chest. He didn’t like what his friends were trying to pin on him.
“So what exactly are you doing with her?” Gareth asked.
“I... I don’t know! I don’t understand her. And...”
“And that’s what’s bothering you,” Cian concluded, and the guy had the nerve to chuckle.
Fuck, yeah. “She’s incredibly smart, fearless, funny, and obviously knows what she’s doing, but she is insecure on dates, and suddenly wants to please everyone even though she’s dating the most ridiculous men who aren’t right for her, and...”
“Connor,” Cian stated impatiently, “some people feel completely secure in their professional lives but not in their social lives. Like Gareth here.”
Gareth frowned. “What social life?”
“Um, us, your friends?” Connor suggested.
“Nah. You guys are pure work.”
Cian sighed. “Then your sister.”
“The one who runs the Hawks with me, you mean?”
“Fuck, is your whole life really work?” Cian asked, shocked.
Gareth shrugged. “That doesn’t bother me.”
“Your opera singer then,” Cian chimed in.
Connor lowered his gaze. He didn’t say it to his best friend, but the opera singer sounded like work too.
It seemed like just finding a time for the two of them to meet gave Gareth a headache.
But since Gareth was into work...who was he to judge him?
Connor had always been too short-tempered, Cian too sensitive deep down, and Gareth too hard and cold.
It was an unwritten rule that they would never hold their flaws against each other.
But was Cian right? When it came to things like this, he usually was. Maybe that was it. Maybe Rachel was insecure about her personal relationships...but not about her competence.
“Stop looking at me like that, Cian!” Gareth interrupted Connor’s thoughts. “I’m not going to fall in love. I tried it once and it sucked. I’m incredibly happy with my opera singer.”
Yep, it was always a good sign when you referred to your girlfriend by her profession instead of her name.
“She’s smart, distinguished, kind, and hasn’t argued with me once. And if I decide to marry her at the end of the summer, you’ll both smile, be my witnesses, and tell my sister it’s a wonderful idea.”
Connor exhaled and slapped Gareth on the back. “I’d love to be your divorce lawyer if it all falls apart.”
Cian was too shocked to laugh at the joke. “You’re not serious, Gare.”
He shrugged. “I’m closer to thirty-five than thirty. It’s time to get married.”
Cian shook his head and studied him. “Your girlfriend is super nice, but she doesn’t challenge you.”
“Which means we don’t argue.”
“She’s always traveling. You’re always traveling. When do you even see each other?” he continued.
“Her job is demanding, and I don’t mind her being gone all the time.”
“It should bother you.”
“Why?”
“Sheesh, I’m looking for new friends,” Cian muttered wearily, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes.
Connor caught Gareth’s eye across the table and returned his grin. Cian made sure that they didn’t run off the rails and become total assholes. He insisted that it wasn’t always about winning, but sometimes, just about being decent. They needed him and his outlook on life.
Which wasn’t to say they didn’t have to pay him back now and then for always expecting them to be good guys. And he really took this whole love thing too seriously — which made it easy to unsettle him.
Connor leaned back in his chair and smiled.
Fall in love first. Then consider getting serious.
Connor could easily imagine finding a woman he liked so much he’d want to share his life with her.
But falling in love had never been on his agenda.
Love meant dependency, and he wouldn’t let himself enter into that.
But that wasn’t the problem. It was all about how the partner he found felt.
That was what he had been paying attention to in the bet.
You might be able to make a woman come, Conner, but can you also make her happy?
He gritted his teeth. Well, he’d deal with that when the time came. And he’d just stay away from Rachel. He saw absolutely no reason why he should talk to her anytime soon, at least not until his next date…