Chapter 10 #2
Connor’s questions lingered in her mind, and the answer was simple: No!
Not one bit. When her life had been orderly and quiet, it had meant less stress — but at the same time, she had felt stuck.
And she’d had enough of it! Maybe she didn’t want to go back to the old Rachel. Maybe it was time for a new Rachel.
It took her two hours to reflect on every question and put the naked, sometimes hard-to-admit truth down on virtual paper.
Yes, maybe physical attraction was more important than she’d wanted to admit.
Maybe she didn’t like it when the man alone decided about their date because she always preferred to have a say.
Maybe she didn’t want a man who agreed with her, but one who tried to show her new perspectives.
And maybe she wanted a guy who was confident enough not to ask her for input with every decision.
She’d had a lot of guys who were looking for help and while they were nice, they’d also been annoying!
Maybe she wasn’t as patient as everyone said she was.
Maybe she’d just gotten good at pretending.
With each typed answer, she felt a little lighter and freer, as if she’d made peace with her real self, so that when she finally finished shortly after nine, she slumped, exhausted but happy, back in her desk chair.
Darkness had set in, and only the desk lamp provided light when she turned off the computer.
She would give the third former candidate she’d already contacted a chance before running her new profile through the system again.
Then she’d still have two dates with new candidates and would know if Connor’s theory was correct.
Even if everything in her rebelled against the idea that he was right and she was wrong, it didn’t matter.
If it led her to her dream man, she’d accept that.
Grimacing, she stretched before making sure Eggsy was contentedly asleep on the shelf next to a pile of files. Now all she had to do was bring Scotland-Beard in, then she could go home and...
She flinched and squeaked as her gaze slid toward the door. A dark, tall figure loomed in the doorway, staring at her.
What the hell?! The doorbell hadn’t rung!
“God, Connor, you scared me.” She placed a hand on her chest when she finally recognized him. “Why are you just standing there like a serial killer?!”
Connor didn’t answer. He had his arms crossed and was staring at her. Shadows flickered across his face, which was probably why he looked so grim. It could also have been due to his tense shoulders, pursed lips, and the dark glint in his eyes.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, scratching the back of her neck nervously.
Crackling energy radiated from his skin like a faulty electrical outlet.
She didn’t want to be alone with him. She didn’t trust her body in his presence.
The last time they’d been alone... She swallowed and lifted her chin.
“I was just about to wrap things up when...”
“Did you advise my client to postpone her divorce?” Connor interrupted. His voice was calm yet so cold that Rachel shuddered.
“What?”
“Did you tell my client that instead of separating, she should have another open and honest conversation with her husband...the husband who’s been emotionally blackmailing her for weeks about taking her children away?”
She blinked and felt her stomach clench. “Taking her children away? He wants... Wait. Who exactly are you talking about?”
“Mrs. Teager,” he whispered, his tone dangerously calm, as he took a step into the room. His shoes made a bright, ominous clack on the wooden floor. “She was here, wasn’t she? You talked to her.”
Oh. “Yes, she came in earlier, but...”
“She wants me to postpone the court date that would finally end everything. Because she needs time to think. Because she’s considering getting back together with her husband.
Because you advised her to!” His voice was more of a growl than a whisper now, and Rachel’s stomach fluttered nervously.
She’d thought she’d seen Connor angry before, but as it turned out, he had evidently only been mildly annoyed the other times.
Because now? Now he looked like he could set the office on fire with just a spark from his eyes.
“Okay, now wait a minute,” she said, raising her hands. “Yes, Mrs. Teager was here. We talked. But I didn’t advise her to go back to her husband. I just told her that everyone deserves as much time to think things through as they need.”
“She’s been thinking about it for two years, Rachel!” he snapped, slamming his fist on Hailey’s desk.
She flinched. “I didn’t know that.”
“Of course not! Because you don’t know her. You gave her hope in a hopeless situation. You told her that her husband deserved another chance!”
“I didn’t,” she said abruptly. “I didn’t say anything about her husband!”
“But something you said obviously made her want to reconsider and give that jerk of a husband more of her precious time!” he thundered.
“Connor,” she snapped, stiffening because he was starting to make her angry.
“Calm down. Are you fucking listening to me? All I did was tell her she can take her time and not rush into anything. I didn’t push her in any direction, I didn’t force my opinion on her, and I didn’t make any decisions for her. That’s neither my job nor yours!’
“But you interfered! In something that’s none of your damn business!” He slashed his hand angrily through the air. “You shared your belief in fairy tales and eternal love with her, and you made her insecure!’
“She was already insecure,” Rachel retorted heatedly, clenching her hands.
“She was the personification of insecure! And I didn’t talk about eternal love or fairy tales, or.
..whatever! That’s all in your head. I didn’t do anything!
She’s a grown woman who cried and poured her heart out to me.
So, I talked to her. But she can make her own decisions.
And what’s wrong with her taking a little more time? ”
“She has children, Rachel!” Connor was shouting now, looking so angry that a wiser woman might have taken a step back.
But Rachel wasn’t feeling wise just then.
She felt belligerent. “She’s not fucking alone in this situation!
She has seven-year-old twins who have been suffering for weeks!
” He leaned toward her, his dark eyes black in the dim light.
“Two children that I had to prepare to testify in court! Do you know how shitty that is? And now Mrs. Teager wants to rethink it so I can subject her children to that absolute hell a second time? Why did you have to open your mouth?!” His hand trembled with anger as he ran it through his hair.
“I comforted her,” she replied, glaring at him. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”
Connor laughed mirthlessly. “We obviously have two very different ideas of right and wrong! God, this isn’t right!
” He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head repeatedly.
“I didn’t want to see you, Rachel. I don’t want to be here!
I thought we had negotiated some kind of truce in the alley behind the restaurant!
I thought it was clear that we could interfere with each other’s dates because of that stupid bet, but not with each other’s damn jobs, each other’s damn lives! ’
“I didn’t mean to interfere!” she snapped, her toes painfully bumping against his. “I didn’t even know she was your client. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill!”
“No, you don’t think,” he barked at her.
“You talk and talk, and everyone hangs on your every word and believes what you say. They believe you’re perfect, that you’re quiet, that you’re perfectly content and friendly, but you’re none of those things!
You’re irritating and cheeky, and at least in my presence, you always seem to take what you want!
I have yet to discover your kind side, and I couldn’t care less!
Fuck, I could even respect all of that because you’re the most amazing woman I know, but you can’t interfere with my work!
For me, it’s not about love. About whether Mrs. Teager still adores her husband or not.
It’s about doing the right thing. No matter how fucking difficult it is.
I mean...was that intentional? Are you trying to mess with me, make my job harder because I made yours harder?
Is this payback for proving to you that you’re looking for the wrong type of man?
For hating that I made you come in two minutes flat, and that you want me even though I’m the last man on earth your stupid questionnaire would have chosen for you? !’
“Payback?” she spat out, angrily thrusting her hands against his chest. She wanted him to leave, to stop reminding her that she hated him.
..and for the past week, when she hadn’t been able to think about anything but his hands on her body.
His mouth on her breasts. His fingers deep inside her.
“You take yourself too damn seriously, Connor!”
“No, you don’t take me seriously enough,” he growled, pinning her hands to his chest with two fingers.
He didn’t give an inch. “I fucking told you! You don’t believe what you see and hear, and then decide what’s right for you over others.
Especially not when you make such disastrously bad decisions as you do! ”
His words hit her right in the chest, right above the spot where the guilt had been that she’d been carrying around for a whole decade. Like an arrow, his words pierced her... But there was already a hole there, so the truth behind Connor’s words only hurt half as much.
“Yeah,” she whispered tonelessly. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe I make disastrously bad decisions, but you’re wrong to think I intentionally meant you harm, or advised your client to go back to her husband. All I did was ask questions and show compassion. That’s what I do.”