Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
Spending time together is important. A simple breakfast here and there does wonders for body and soul.
From the self-help book for self-pitiers by psychologist Rachel James
Sex does, too. - Connor
Rachel felt weightless.
Which was remarkable, considering a 200-pound man was practically lying on top of her. But Connor’s arms and legs around her body didn’t weigh her down. And, at last, she could say the same about all the secrets.
She had talked more last night than she had in a long time. She usually listened, but Connor hadn’t interrupted or asked questions. He had simply let her talk until the mountain on her heart had shrunk to a pebble. While it theoretically had no place between her ribs, she could bear it.
Normally, she loved it when she had enough room in bed to stretch out her arms and legs like a starfish, and she enjoyed soft pillows and light blankets.
But Connor’s muscles taking her space and offering his hard shoulder as a pillow and his heavy body as a blanket wasn’t bad either.
It felt so familiar that she wouldn’t mind starting every morning with a kiss on the forehead and a grumpy, “Stop fidgeting!”
“I’m not fidgeting, I’m breathing.”
“It’s all the same to me in the morning.”
She grinned and looked at his face, his closed eyes, the pillow imprint on his cheek. “You’re not a morning person, are you?”
“I’m not even a person in the morning,” he corrected, tightening his arm around her. “I hate alarm clocks almost as much as I hate olives.”
The smile on her face was almost painful now. “I love olives.”
“Of course you do.”
She giggled.
Oh God, she hadn’t giggled in twenty years! What was this man turning her into? She’d definitely had a weak moment yesterday. Oh, who was she kidding? Connor was one big weak moment on two legs, for her.
But she didn’t feel weak, she felt…strong.
“So?” Connor mumbled into her hair. “Which is better, the fake shoulder or the real one?”
She suppressed a smile. “Well, you could eat more dessert and add some cushioning to your shoulders.”
“I’m not a fan of dessert.”
“That doesn’t surprise me at all. You don’t handle sweets well.”
He opened one eye. “I seem to be able to handle you.”
She laughed. “Are you flirting with me?”
“I thought I’d give it a try, but it feels wrong. Flirting with you by upsetting you seems more natural.”
Her laughter grew louder. “I like both. Not arguing with you has its upsides.”
“I’m glad. Can we go back to sleep now?”
God, the guy looked surprisingly cute when he was tired. “I don’t know.” She yawned, glanced at the clock…and sat up, cursing. “Shit, it’s almost eight, I have to go!”
Connor laboriously opened his other eye. “Why?”
She lifted his arm and slid out of bed. “I have a date with your brother.”
That apparently woke Connor up because the next moment, he was bolt upright. “You’re not fucking serious.”
“Well, I can’t stand him up!”
“And what about last night gave you the impression I’d approve of this?”
“Nothing. But I don’t want to be rude.”
“Be rude,” he said seriously. “Alec can handle it.”
She snorted, pulled on some underwear, and hurriedly stepped into her summer dress from yesterday. She didn’t have time to pull something else out of the closet. “We’re only going to breakfast.”
Connor groaned and put a hand over his eyes. “Fine! But if he tells you about his buttercream or his cake-making skills, run. That’s his signal that he’d like to sleep with you.”
She laughed. “I’ll be careful. You stay here. And please make sure no one sees you leaving my house.” She pointed a warning finger at him. “That might…give the wrong impression.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Like we slept together?”
“Exactly.”
Rachel was still smiling as she exited the apartment door five minutes later and pulled out her mobile phone.
Slept with that hot divorce lawyer again, she texted Maya. By the way, you know him. He’s Alec Stone’s brother.
She couldn’t tell anyone else. Lucy and Rachel certainly wouldn’t reply with a squealing smiley and a heart. And she had to tell someone! Because…it was worth telling.
Laughing at herself for feeling a little like a teenager who’d done something forbidden, she texted Maya that she’d call her that evening and tell her more, then she hurried downstairs.
Alec was waiting for her at the front door, reading a palm-sized book titled Baking Less Shitty. When he saw her, he squeezed it into his back jeans pocket.
“Morning,” he murmured, smiling. “You’re late.”
“Sorry,” she said breathlessly. “Overslept.”
He smiled broadly. “Sure. Shall we? I saw that the Sunny Umbrella offers breakfast.”
“Yep, but…” She wrung her hands nervously. “I should be honest up front, Alec: I can’t date you.”
He grinned and pushed off the wall. “I know. I can’t date you either. I don’t make it a habit of stealing my brother’s girlfriend.”
The heat in her cheeks could compete with the sun above them. “I’m not…we’re not…”
Alec waved a hand. “I don’t care what you call it,” he replied lightly. “It’s obvious that Connor is claiming possession of you, which he…well, never has. And strangely, he doesn’t seem to have slept at home. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”
She gave him an innocent look. “Nothing at all.”
He grinned. “I get it. But whatever: I wouldn’t get in his way.”
She blinked, irritated. “Then why were you so keen to go out with me?”
“Because I like you. And it’s fun to upset the guy who spent ten years making me do homework instead of having fun. And because the asshole deserves some pain if he can’t admit to everyone that he’s hopelessly in love with you.”
They’d be able to fry breakfast on her face. “He’s not…”
“Oh, yes he is. So let me buy you a meal — and make Connor regret not opening his mouth.”
She had to laugh. “Well, when you put it that way…”
They turned right and walked along the promenade toward the glowing Sunshine Pier, which was living up to its name today.
“You know,” Alec said as they passed Match Me! “I feel strangely obligated to ask: Do you also like my brother?”
Rachel stumbled over a stone. The question shouldn’t have caught her off guard, or been so complicated, but…
“Your brother can make me incredibly angry.”
Alec laughed. “Yes, he has a talent for that. But that wasn’t the question.”
He was right, so she murmured, “Yes, I like him.” It was true.
“Good.” Alec seemed satisfied and pulled his vibrating phone from his pocket, a message flashing across the display that made him laugh.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, confused.
“Oh, just Connor. He says if I touch you, I’m dead,” he remarked, amused.
She looked at him, her mouth gaping. “He… What?”
“Oh-so charming, my brother,” Alec replied lightly.
Oh God. She put a hand to her forehead. “He’s an idiot. He can’t say something like that!”
“Oh, I’m sure he means it in the kindest way possible,” Alec said with a grin. “I don’t blame him. I think Connor hasn’t quite come to terms with his feelings for you yet,” he mused. “To be honest, I’ve never seen him like this before.”
“So completely idiotic, you mean?”
“Oh, no. Idiocy runs in the family. So…desperate because, for the first time, he can’t control what he feels.” He smiled. “That scares him.”
“Did he control his feelings before?”
“He didn’t allow them in the first place, Rachel,” he whispered.
Something fluttered in her chest, spreading warmth. Perhaps a swarm of butterflies had flown too close to the sun. “You act like I’m special,” she murmured uncomfortably, pulling her phone from her pocket.
“Are you going to tell Connor he can’t send me messages like that?” Alec asked.
“Well, someone should tell him he’s a complete idiot, right?” she replied defensively.
Alec chuckled. “Well, then…yes, Rachel, maybe you are special. To him, at least, you seem perfect.”
Perfect. For him, she was perfect right now…but for how long? Ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach, she pushed thoughts of the future aside and quickly typed: If Alec touches me, he’s dead?
Connor’s reply followed promptly. What about it?
She snorted. What was that again about not claiming ownership of me?
It’s not ownership. I thought we both had more of a…sex-lease agreement. We try things out to get a peek at what we’re buying.
Laughing, she put her phone away. A sex-lease agreement. Yes, she could work with that.
For about the next two weeks, Rachel ate breakfast with Alec three times — and went to bed with Connor ten times. It was possible she hadn't slept alone a single night. Unintentionally! Definitely not planned.
It was just that Connor always left things he desperately needed in her bedroom – a tie, a sock, his keys – and naturally, he had to come over and get them, and…
then he wouldn’t leave. But evenings alone were overrated, and now that Rachel knew she really couldn’t stand a quiet life, she enjoyed the fact that things were never boring with Connor.
They discussed many things: cacti, coffee cultivation, astronomy, pub quiz questions, politics, friendships, their jobs, and if Connor was a complete idiot for not liking dessert.
Strangely, it never felt like an argument, even when they grew loud.
It was just fun to have someone take every word she said seriously and not steamroll her.
There was no shying away from challenges, with him.
He liked it when she got a little testy, found it funny when she snidely claimed that the only reason he didn’t watch Disney movies was because the heroic characters would give him a complex.
And he knew how to silence her when it got to be too much.
Perfect Rachel would have worried that a relationship with so much squabbling, even if it was only a sex-leasing relationship, wouldn’t be good for her inner balance. But the real Rachel knew better: everyone was different. And she’d possibly never had so much fun with a man outside of bed.