Chapter 16 #2
“We will speak,” he promised. “Let us break our fast tomorrow morning. But for now, I truly must go. Enjoy the rest of your evening, yes?”
Disappointment flittered through Elara’s eyes, but she nodded and stepped to the side so he could pass.
Evander winked at her, then gave a curt nod to Adrian and Damien before resuming his course to Jeremy’s rooms. Jeremy’s early retirement was not going to stop him, but it did make him curious.
Jeremy was never the first to leave a party.
After making it through a crowd of guests, Evander swiftly took the stairs up to the second floor, where Jeremy’s room was situated. He had his fist raised, ready to knock on the door, when an alarming sound gave him pause. It sounded like an argument.
“You cannot keep doing this to me,” a voice hissed. “Every time this woman is in the room, you forget I exist.”
“That is not true,” Jeremy shot back. “None of it is true. I came all the way back to London for you! You know why I must—”
“I know what you tell me. I do not know what to believe anymore.”
“Stop. Wait… no…” He heard Jeremy groan from the other side of the door.
It was followed by a guttural groan that made Evander forget his manners and shove the door open, fearing that someone—maybe even the person sending threatening letters—was attacking Jeremy.
He rushed in, fists raised and ready to fight off Jeremy’s attacker, and then stopped so suddenly that his upper body swayed from the sudden loss of momentum. Evander’s eyes grew wide, his head tilted to the side as he saw not a fight taking place, but another sort of wrestling altogether.
It took a moment to understand what he was seeing. When he did, he let out a loud cough, dragged his gaze from the two naked men on the bed to the red rug beneath his boots, and turned sharply around.
For a moment, no one breathed. Then the room erupted—the desk scraping, fabric snatched off the floor, boots hitting the wrong feet twice before finding the right ones. Jeremy’s voice cracked through it all.
“Evander, wait! It is not what you think!”
“How could you do this?” Evander asked, heading toward the door. “I… I need to get out of here.”
“Evander, stop!” Jeremy pleaded, catching Evander’s arm just as he was about to reach for the door handle.
Evander turned, his nostrils flaring angrily as he looked down at Jeremy, who looked pale and wide-eyed with panicked fear.
“Let me explain,” Jeremy insisted, his hand tightening around Evander’s arm.
“Does Helena know about this?” Evander asked, his eyes flicking toward Jeremy’s valet. The young man was still trying to get dressed, but his hands were shaking so badly that he kept dropping his clothes.
“No one knows,” Jeremy replied. “Not even Damien. Especially not Grandmama. Such news would surely kill her.”
“Cancel the wedding,” Evander demanded. “I am not entirely aware of the specifics of your arrangement with Helena, but I know she deserves more than this.”
Jeremy let out a helpless laugh as he shook his head and clenched Evander’s arm tighter.
“I cannot do this. I promised Grandmama that I would marry,” Jeremy replied. “And Helena… She knows that marriage is naught but a play. She and I have an arrangement. We both need the protection of marriage for our own reasons. I for this, and hers I will not share as it is her business.”
Evander took a moment to rein in his wide array of emotions, then turned to Jeremy so they were face to face, a silent demand to keep talking was written on his features. Jeremy was at least good enough to keep Helena’s secrets her own, and for that, Evander was going to let him explain himself.
“Helena may not know about this particular part of my life, but she is still a very dear friend to me,” Jeremy explained.
“We came to an agreement so that we would both have protection. And it is not as if the ability to have an affair is one-sided. If she wants to take a lover, she is more than welcome to, as long as she is discreet.”
“Oh, as you were?” Evander scoffed, his eyes darting back to Jeremy’s valet. “If someone else had walked in on you, what do you think would have happened? You would not only have ruined yourself but also Helena! Hell, you even risk your own life!”
Jeremy flinched as his face crumpled with regret.
“You have no idea what it is like,” he rasped, his voice raw with pain. “To constantly hide your true desires. To never be able to freely be with the one you want. All we have are these little moments of stolen pleasure, and even then, they are filled with the terror of being discovered.”
Evander struggled to swallow the lump of emotion that Jeremy’s words had formed in his throat, and he felt his anger fade away a little more.
“Yes, I do,” Evander said quietly. “I do know what this is like.” Jeremy looked at him, his brows tensing with curiosity.
“I have been in love with Helena for nearly four years now,” Evander confessed. Jeremy’s eyes widened, but he did not interrupt.
“We used to write one another letters. She does not know it was me. The night before I was going to tell her the truth, I was captured,” Evander went on.
Jeremy’s jaw dropped as he let go of Evander’s arm.
“Evander… Why did you not tell me before?” he asked.
Evander shook his head.
“Because even though I survived what these people did to me, I did not have the strength to reach out to her once I returned. I thought if I left her alone, my feelings would fade. But in a cruel twist of fate, it was she who became your betrothed. I cannot tell you what it was like. The day Damien and Adrian told me. It was almost worse than the torture I survived.”
Evander felt his tension-filled muscles relax as he finally made his confession.
“I tried to stay away from her these last few days,” he went on, feeling guilt slide into his chest. “I even spoke unkindly to her. Acted cruelly toward her. I tried to tell myself she was no longer mine. That she was yours…”
He looked up, meeting Jeremy’s eyes with a pleading look.
“I did all that because I truly thought you loved her, Jeremy, but if you do not… Please, let her go. Let her choose me. This is my second chance, and I will not allow myself to lose her a second time.”
Jeremy’s brows dipped as he pressed his lips together.
“And you are sure?” Jeremy asked. “You are sure that she will choose you?”
Evander’s heart fluttered at the question as he recalled what had just happened between him and Helena in the library.
“Yes,” Evander whispered.
Jeremy began to worriedly nibble on his bottom lip as he stepped back, his face falling into a mask of deep thought.
Evander had no doubt that he was asking Jeremy to give up much of the protection that would come with his marriage to Helena, so even though he wanted to shake the man and demand an answer, he forced himself to stay still as Jeremy considered his future.
A few moments later, Jeremy finally turned back to his valet, who was still seated on the bed, and walked over to him.
Evander watched as Jeremy reached out and, very lovingly, ran his hand through the young man’s ash-blonde hair; he observed how the young man leaned into Jeremy’s touch.
There was no denying that the two loved each other deeply.
“Perhaps all of us can be happy. But I will need your help,” Jeremy said at last, turning to Evander with a serious look as he held his lover. “You understand there are still secrets to be kept for the safety of all.”
Evander’s heart fluttered with hope.
“Of course,” he said readily. “Whatever you need. I do not wish for anyone to be hurt in the situation. I only want my chance to love Helena.”
Jeremy looked back down at his valet, a soft smile touching his lips.
“I understand that very well,” he murmured.
“We all deserve our chance at a happy ending,” he said more clearly as he looked toward Evander. “Very well. I will not be marrying Helena. But you are not going to bring the party down by sharing such news with everyone just yet. We have a plan to sort out, you and I.”
So relieved that his knees began to tremble, Evander could not help but smile as he expelled his held breath.
“Let us sort it then,” he replied.