Chapter Nine If You Go Away
Amber’s doctor gave her exercises to do. On a mat. On her hands and knees. One leg kicked back, out straight. Back to the knee. Back up again. Leg extensions. They help all kinds of things that were hurt. Even her wrist, as it does weight-bearing.
I’m supposed to be cooking. I cook most nights. She’s a foodie, and I come from a family where when you cook, you’re showing love, even if you were in a fight five minutes before. Tonight? Veal shanks, broccoli rabe, and white wine. Osso Buco. The meat is braised and in the oven for two hours.
So I’m not so busy right now. I got time to slide between walls and watch that sweet, heart-shaped ass do all kinds of things.
Oh, Amber thinks she’s just tightening and strengthening, but she’s also hardening. Me.
And creating.
Ideas.
In seconds, I can’t resist. I kneel behind her, hard cock pressed to the curve of her ass.
“Johnny! The veal,” she gasps.
“It’s in the oven, beautifully braised. The broccoli rabe is ready to go when it’s time. I got some potatoes I’m gonna roast with garlic.”
“You know I’m dessert,” Amber moans as I run a covetous hand between her thighs, cupping the mound that her tight plum-colored workout leggings don’t do much to hide.
“Did you go show Doctor Kevin this perfect ass in this outfit? Did you show up there with this gorgeous little pussy barely covered?” I growl, but I’m not really mad.
Amber wiggles at me. “You know I wore sweats. I don’t flash all this action at anyone but you.”
“That’s good, because I don’t know how to die twice, and jealousy might do me in,” I tease, slapping my hands down on her cheeks. “You know what else I never did?”
“What?”
“Put it in from behind.”
“Poor little virgin ghost.”
“I am not.” I slap my hands down again, and God, the way that bottom bounces is enough to make a monk into a married man.
Amber shakes her hips at me again. “I am a little sore. Didn’t get my massage today.”
“Ooh, poor baby. Gotta fix that.” I grab her waist and start to work my magic.
As soon as we touch, it’s heaven. The carnal kind.
Amber rolls her leggings down and reveals a cheetah print thong that would definitely be illegal in most states. It splits her pretty peach in half and makes her cheeks look like they’re gift-wrapped.
I was always the impatient one at Christmas. I snap the thing in half, surprising both of us.
My hands knead her back while she grinds back against me, her knees parting. My cock slides home nice and easy, making both of us groan as I fill her familiar heat. This time, I move my hands down, gripping her bouncing cheeks, squeezing her as she swallows my cock.
“I can’t see your face, babe, but this is a view worth dying for, too,” I moan, watching her pink flex on me.
Watching how fast her slit starts to drip.
“Do I make you feel that good?” I grunt, but I know I do, because when our bodies touch, we’re lightning and thunder.
My cock is leaking, making her wetter somehow, even though I don’t know how all of it works.
Why I can drink her juices. Why my cum fills her up, then slides out in drips that turn to mist before vanishing.
Something about both being human and having souls—we are whatever life is made of, just in different forms.
And I know that I would love her, no matter what rules it broke.
If life or death were on the line, I would choose her.
That thought makes me forget the passion and lust I feel looking at that tight pussy gripping my cock, and I rest my chest to her back and squeeze, holding her tight as I can without slipping through her. “Love you, babe.”
“Johnny. Johnny, so good...” Her voice is low and feral, her fingers digging into the little foam mat spread on the polished wooden floor. “I love you, too. Fuck, so good.”
I feel how she tightens up, how her walls flutter with erratic spasms, a dizzy, come-drunk little butterfly kissing my cock. And suddenly, I’m heaving inside of her, against her, pumping into her like I can mark her and make her mine forever.
Mine. Forever.
Me and Amber?
That’s not gonna be right, you know. It’s not gonna be fair.
“Okay, I think you’ll love this one. It’s a classic. Well, it was made in the ‘80s, so it’s a classic now,” I excitedly sit down in Jonny’s lap, which is the equivalent of sitting in a heated massage chair that will also occasionally kiss your neck, call you beautiful, and massage your breasts.
A total upgrade.
“You watched this with your parents?”
“No, my sister and my cousins when my parents were out. I wasn’t born until the ‘90s, babe.”
“You have a sister?”
“Yep. Lilliana Ruby, and a cousin who is like a sister, Honey. You hear me talk to Honey all the time.”
“Why don’t you talk to Lilliana?”
“It’s hard when she’s on archeological digs in remote areas. We get satellite calls every few weeks. She calls my parents. She’s the oldest and the favorite.”
“I’m sure that’s not... No, never mind. My older brother, Joe, was the favorite, too.” Johnny kisses my head. “You want kids?”
Oof. Suddenly, I can’t taste the delicious veal anymore. I can’t feel the wonderful currents of pleasure. “I’m not sure. Um. When I had the accident, the main damage was to my spine and one hip. I wasn’t thinking about kids then. I was thinking about my career.”
“Okay.” Johnny doesn’t ask anything else. He waits. Strokes my hair.
“I heard that spinal issues and nerve damage could make it hard to have a comfortable pregnancy. Not impossible. Just hard. The way I was feeling before I made it to Pine Ridge? I would never have wanted kids. I wouldn’t have been able to reliably take care of them.
I might not have been able to get up with them in the night, or drive them to all of their practices...
But since I’ve had such great care here,” I lean back against his chest, “I think it’s possible.
I’m much better. I’m getting much better. ”
“That’s good, sweetie. But the thing is—”
“But the thing is, I’m not sure I want to have kids soon—because I’m not sure I’m ready to be a mom.
I’m on Amber, Version 2.0. Amber, Post-Accident.
By the time I know for sure what I want to do, I might be thirty-two, thirty-five.
Sometimes you can’t get pregnant easily after thirty-five, and then there are things like scar tissue, adhesions...
” I shake my head and sigh, a different kind of sigh now.
“You know what else makes it hard?” Johnny says.
“Hm?”
“A lover who shoots blanks. Cosmic blanks. You—”
“Need a partner who shoots what? Live rounds? Honey, there’s adoption, there are sperm donors. I’m not worried about that part. Do you want kids?”
“I thought I did, before. I never had the option after I... Well. Look at us. Talking about the maybes and the nevers. I know what I really want, sweetheart. My girl to be happy. And I don’t know if I could keep you happy,” Johnny says, lips against my ear.
“I’ll tell you what I think. I think that in my entire adult life, I’ve never found someone like you, someone I was just happy being around—and who also rocked my entire galaxy in the bedroom.”
“I can’t work. Can’t support you.”
“I don’t know about that. This is Pine Ridge. Seems like other supernatural types hold down jobs.” I giggle to myself. “Can’t you just see it? Us, with a spirit bottle? Me, driving you over to work each day and uncorking you? By honey, I’ll be back later tonight to pick you up.”
“What kind of job could I do?” Johnny asks.
“I don’t know. You can move things. You fix up the house.
You cook. I bet you could do a lot of jobs that don’t require a degree—or, hey!
If you wanted to get a degree, there’s a college in town now.
I’m going in January. I have a degree, but I want to go back to school for something else.
I’m not sure what, but that’s something else I learned.
Life can end suddenly. I barely remember the last eight years of my life, not because of a head injury, but because it was always a blur of work, rush, meetings, stress...
” I trail off. “I have enough money to live on to take my time. And you?”
“I got nothing but time for you, baby,” Johnny croons.
“Mmm, we could watch this movie tomorrow, huh?” I say, reaching for my laptop.
Which is when someone knocks on the door.
Johnny soars off the couch.
“Hi! It’s Manny, from the garage in town?” Manny’s deep, jovial voice calls out.
“Why don’t you answer that?” I suggest.
Johnny’s form is wispy, then solid, and shining. “Manny,” he breathes out incredulously.
It’s almost like getting to watch Johnny’s life start all over again.
I just wonder if that’s enough of a reason to stay, especially once he has the answers he’s been searching for.
“Johnny Miller, you sly dog!” Manny throws his arms around me, and it’s a good thing I’m semi-solid and already dead, because this way his bear hug doesn’t kill me.
“I had no idea you were up here all this time. Good gosh. Hey, I have your pay from that last week. I realize now I should have given it to your brothers, but with all the upheaval, I forgot.” Manny pulls out a bank envelope and passes it to me.
“I’m a ghost. What would I spend it on?” I ask.
Manny’s head tilts. Catches sight of Amber. Looks back at me with one dark brow raised on his greenish square of a forehead.
“Right. I’ll tuck this away,” I say, and put the envelope on the windowsill.
“Come on in,” Amber encourages. “I’m so happy Johnny can reconnect with you.”
“Oh, a lot of people can’t wait to meet him. Mr. Minegold is whipping up your spirit bottle, John. Ought to be ready by the end of the month. These things can take time to prepare.”
“That’s great. That’s real great, Manny.” I have to fumble to find conversation again, to find company manners.
Even though things were rocky with Amber at first, they’re so easy now. I’m just myself around her. I don’t know how to act with Manny.
“Uh. How are you?”