28. Sawyer
SAWYER
The rest of the party goes by in a blur, feeling like a countdown to my inevitable heartbreak. I try to fake a smile, to interact with her in front of everyone like our fight didn’t happen, but it’s impossible.
Raven looks miserable, like she’s on the edge of a panic attack. All I want to do is pull her into my arms and hug her until she relaxes, but I don’t think my touch would help her right now.
The house is chaotic. Kids are everywhere. Costumes have been half-abandoned, and candy wrappers litter the floor. Several kids run into the dining room, following RJ as he hangs up a pinata, and I stalk over to the couch, plopping down in defeat.
Hardy comes up behind me, clapping his hands onto my shoulders. “Hey, everything okay? You haven’t cracked a dad joke since I arrived, and there’s some quality material here.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
He sits next to me, poking my thigh with his. “I’m here if you change your mind.”
Hours go by, and I keep to myself, barely saying anything to anyone out of fear I’ll upset Raven. I don’t want to hurt her any more than I have. I was trying to do the right thing. I figured it out right before she walked up, and I was going to tell her. But I understand why she’s upset.
Once everyone has left and it’s just me, Raven, and the kids, Jane skips over to the couch. “Dad, can we spend the night?”
I lean on my thighs, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. “Not tonight, sweetie. We need to head home. Can you get your brother?”
Her shoulders slump in defeat as she walks toward McKenna. “He said no.”
“My mom said no too,” McKenna says, and something in my heart breaks. What are we going to tell the kids if Raven does end this? Hopefully, she just needs a day or two to calm down.
“Have you seen Jonah?” Raven asks McKenna.
“He was in the basement earlier, hiding in his secret room.”
Fuck. Was he down there when Raven and I were talking? Did he hear us? I stand up from the couch and stretch my back.
Raven looks between the girls. “McKenna, go check the basement. Jane, will you look in all the rooms upstairs?”
There’s an urgency in Raven’s voice that sets my nerves on edge. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s probably nothing, but I haven’t seen Jonah in hours, and he isn’t answering me when I call for him.”
“Do you think he’s hiding in one of his spots?”
“Maybe?”
My mind races, thinking of all the places he could be. Maybe he’s outside on the swing? I turn and head for the door when Raven’s words stop me.
“Where are you going? Please don’t leave.”
There’s a tremor in her voice, and it hits me. Everyone she’s loved has let her down. Our fight earlier, her words, weren’t meant to push me away or end things. She’s just processing her emotions. Like Jonah.
I’m across the room in several strides, pulling her into my arms. “Raven, baby, I’m not going anywhere.”
She buries her face against my chest, speaking against my shirt. “That’s a hard pass on baby.”
“Fuck, I love you.”
Her body stiffens, and her head tilts toward mine. “Even after everything I said?”
“Especially after that. I told you; there’s nothing about you that scares me. And I’m sure the boys are around here. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”
“MOM!” McKenna yells, running into the room with Jane close behind her. The hair on the back of my neck prickles.
“What’s wrong?” Raven races over to McKenna.
“Jonah is gone. Tommy too.”
My gut sinks. “Are you sure? They’re not upstairs?”
Jane shakes her head. “No, we looked everywhere.”
“Girls, I need you to check outside before I call it in. Look everywhere: the swing, in the bushes, along the tree line.”
They race out the door, and I turn to Raven. “When was the last time you saw Jonah?”
“I don’t know. There were so many people in the house. The last time I for sure saw him was before we talked in the basement. Do you think he was down there and heard us, got upset, and ran away?”
“I was thinking the same thing. Is this something he does when he’s upset?”
“Meltdowns are the most common thing for him, but he’s run away once before, after Kris died.”
“Where did he go?”
“We were at the other house, and he ran into the woods and climbed a tree. I had to call the fire department to get him down.”
“I remember a call like that coming in, but I wasn’t there.” I take a deep breath as my mind races through all the steps I need to take to report this, and all the information I need to gather.
“What was he wearing?”
“I think he was still in his costume. I hope he was.”
“Got it. So we’re looking for a giant chicken and a turtle. That shouldn’t be too hard to find.”
The girls run back inside, confirming our suspicions. The boys are gone.