Chapter 5
The young man struggled to comprehend what the red -haired woman was saying.
“Jem?” she asked.
Was his name Jem? He couldn’t remember.
"That's what I'm calling you, but if you remember your name, please tell me.
" Her eyes were wide with worry, and he couldn't tell if that worry was for him or about what he could do to her.
His eyes took in his tied-up arm, and he felt like it was a good idea, though he couldn't explain why he thought that.
"Jem," he said, stilling, realizing that fighting and thrashing were going to get him nowhere. "I don't remember my name."
"Oh," the woman frowned, her eyebrows coming together, as she studied him.
He couldn't help but feel as if he'd disappointed her, and he hated that feeling.
"My name is Theda Calloway. You're on a wagon train.
Well, you're in my wagon, technically, I share it with my brother.
You've been asleep for three days. I was starting to think that you'd never wake up. "
"Three days?" Jem's eyes widened. He felt like Jem wasn't his name.
But he couldn't have anything to call himself.
He tried to remember what had happened before he got there, but he couldn't remember anything.
The woman, her soft reddish hair, and kind green eyes, seemed familiar, like he knew her, like he knew she was safe. "Did we know each other?"
Theda shook her head.
"No. We didn't. My brother found you at the bottom of an embankment near camp.
He was worried about you, and we figured you'd gotten lost in the storm and fallen.
You took a terrible fall. You have a serious head injury, cuts on your chest and side, and cuts up and down your arms. I've been bandaging them each day.
" Her cheeks blushed, a light pink color, then her gaze fell to his restrained wrist. "I'm sorry about that.
My brother figured it was necessary since we didn't know where you came from, and if maybe you were badly intentioned. "
“Right.” Jem struggled to think around the fog clouding his brain.
Why could he remember nothing? Surely he’d had a life before this.
He must have been doing something in the woods.
But there were no memories, no images or thoughts that came before he’d opened his eyes. “Can I get up? My whole body hurts.”
“I’m sure it does.” Theda looked weary, as if she wanted to do more to help, but couldn’t. “You can sit up for now, and once my brother gets here, we can see if you can be untied and let to walk around. Do you remember anything at all from before the accident?”
“No. Nothing.” Jem once again felt a stab of frustration at disappointing her. “It’s all blank.”
“So you’re not a criminal, or out to hurt anyone?”
“I should hope not.” Jem felt a little ill at the very thought. Who would go around hurting people for no reason who had done nothing to them?”
“That sounds like something a criminal would say to convince me that they’re not one,” Theda laughed.
“I assure you,” Jem said, catching her gaze again, “I am no criminal. At least not that I can remember.” He smiled a bit wryly, and she laughed again. He could get used to that sound. “Is your brother coming?”
“Yes, he’s on his way here. He’s been checking in on you almost every single day.”
"Oh," Somehow, Jem had a feeling that her brother might be more worried about who he was and what he wanted, rather than if his health was doing well.
“He’s been worried, wondering if you would wake up. Honestly, I was wondering a bit myself.” Theda kept talking, seemingly unbothered by his silence.
Jem reached up and touched the top of his head, then pulled himself up into a sitting position, stretching his feet out into the narrow space of the wagon.
He wanted to free his hand from the side of the wagon, but he could also tell that he hadn’t yet gained the trust of the people who had helped him.
He was going to have to take the time needed to show them that he really didn’t remember anything about who he was before. He ran the fingers of his free hand over the spot on his head. The contact burned, making him hiss in pain.
“It’s going to take a while for you to fully recover,” Theda kept talking as she arranged things around the wagon. She stopped and watched him with warmth in her eyes. Before he could say anything in response, the sound of men talking made him tense.
Theda seemed to care whether he was doing well or not, but he was already skeptical about her brother and whoever else was coming. From the way Theda tensed, he had a feeling she was, too.
A young man appeared at the opening beside the wagon.
He didn't look much older than Theda, perhaps around ten years older than her, or perhaps a few more years. He had similar auburn hair and green eyes, an immediate giveaway that they were brother and sister. The other man glared at Jem from the moment he came into sight.
He had dark hair and dark eyes, and a scar on his chin that was barely visible. It only took Jem another half minute to realize that the angry man was upset that he was near Theda. It wasn’t hard to tell from the way he kept glancing between the two of them.
“You’re awake.” The man Jem assumed was Theda’s brother spoke first.
“I suppose I am,” Jem said cautiously. He didn't know how these people felt about him being there, in their wagon train.
“I’m Phineas, the wagon train leader, as well as Theda’s brother. I found you at the bottom of an embankment. You were badly beaten up, so I brought you to my sister here.” Phineas nodded toward Theda as he spoke.
Jem was caught off guard for a moment by the warmth he saw there, the protectiveness. It made something in his chest ache, as if he wanted to know what that was like. He pushed the feeling away.
"We were worried you weren't going to pull through. What can you tell me about your accident?" Phineas continued to speak and leaned against the back of the wagon, as if anticipating an answer.
Jem paused for a second, trying once more to pull up his memories, hoping that a little more time awake would have helped. But yet again, there was nothing to draw on. Nothing except for the last ten minutes. He tried to push down the panic, to embrace the new normal, but it was terrifying.
“Unfortunately, I can’t tell you anything. I don’t remember a single thing. The first thing I can remember is opening my eyes for a few seconds and hearing you discuss my possible death with Miss Calloway.”
Phineas’ expression turned curious, but the other young man’s face twisted into a glare. He opened his mouth to speak.
“Nice story, pal,” he said, anger clear in his voice.
“You expect us to believe that you’ve conveniently forgotten everything about your past or what happened to you that brought you to such a state?
That is not going to happen. Whoever you are, I suggest that you come out with it right now.
Pretending that you have amnesia will only get you so far. ”
“Leland,” Theda scolded, “I don’t think he is pretending.
” She turned her attention to Phineas. “You remember that Pa had patients sometimes who would forget things, especially if they’d had a head injury.
Now, Jem has a head injury worse than any I have ever seen before.
It’s very likely he doesn’t remember a thing, and it could take some time for those memories to come back. ”
“What are we supposed to do in the meantime?” Leland asked grumpily, not looking in Jem’s direction at all when he spoke, as if he couldn’t be bothered to look at him unless it was absolutely necessary.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets, still keeping a bit of distance between him and the wagon, as if he were afraid he’d contract something by being too close to Jem.
Met with awkward silence, Jem decided it was time to speak up. He didn't know why Theda was so adamant about defending him or helping him. He just knew that he wanted to help her out by taking responsibility for his situation.
“If you’d allow me, I’d appreciate having a place to stay while I recover my memories and to remember where I was headed.”
Three sets of eyes turned their attention to him. Theda’s were hopeful, Phineas’ were cautious, and Leland’s were full of anger and indignation.
“Of course, I’d be willing to pull my weight to help out with anything you need—scouting for danger or chopping firewood. You just say the word.”
Jem didn’t know how he remembered that he could do those things, but he felt as if he would be able to, and he decided that was enough for now.
In the same way that he remembered how to speak and what a criminal was, he wondered how the whole memory loss thing worked and if he really would get his memories back.
“I don’t see that we have any other option for now,” Phineas said slowly.
“I don’t think my sister would take kindly to me abandoning you here in the middle of nowhere.
We’re still a good ten days out from the river crossing.
Then we’ll reach a town shortly after that.
If you haven’t recovered any memories by then, we can discuss the future once we arrive. ”
"Thank you," Jem said politely. He noticed Phineas's dry humor and wondered if the two of them might get along. He hoped so. He'd rather not have any enemies, and it seemed like Leland had already made up his mind about him.
Jem glanced over to where his wrist was still secured to the side of the wagon. Theda made no move to remove it. Instead, she waited for her brother, who climbed up into the wagon beside Jem.
“Keep in mind that we are putting a lot of trust in you by letting you stay with this wagon train without restraints. If you betray any of that trust or make us regret it, I’m afraid I won’t have mercy a second time. Do you understand?”
Jem nodded.
He understood all right. He also understood that he was completely dependent on these strangers for help, and he wasn’t about to jeopardize that for anything.
“I don’t think that I need to emphasize, I’m specifically referring to my sister. She’s put herself out a lot to take care of you, to make sure that you have a chance here. If you hurt her in any way--”
“I would never.” Jem stopped him. The very idea made his chest ache. He wanted to protect her. The feeling was strange, as if it wasn’t the first time he’d thought about that. “You won’t regret it, placing your trust in me.”
Forcing a grin and trying to lighten the mood, Jem took his newly freed hand back as Phineas stepped away and motioned for his sister to come with him. Jem watched the two of them leave as he rubbed his sore wrist. Earning their trust was going to take time.
He could already see that, but somehow, he couldn’t wait to get started.