37. Cole
COLE
Nothing good ever comes from somebody pounding on your door first thing in the morning.
For a minute I swing my arm over my eyes and try to pretend I dreamed it. My back is killing me, my neck feels wrecked from sleeping on this couch, and I’ve been surviving on scraps of sleep for days now, and I’m constantly exhausted.
But then the knocking comes again, louder this time, and my eyes snap open to the dark room and the thin strip of early morning light leaking through the blinds.
My stomach drops immediately because I wonder if maybe our father found out she’s here.
Maybe he tracked her down and came to drag her back.
“What’s that noise?” Sophie asks, pushing herself up in bed just as another three knocks slam into the door.
“Stay there,” I tell her, already moving.
I head for the door and pull it open, and… well. Good news, it’s not our father.
Bad news, it’s two cops.
My first thought is Chase. That he was stupid enough to press charges and they’re here to arrest me over the fight. But then my gaze drifts to a woman in a suit, and I know without a doubt that she’s no cop.
“Cole Ellis?” one of the officers asks.
I look at him, then at the woman, then back again. “What is this?”
The woman steps forward slightly. “Is Sophie here?”
Every part of me goes tight. “Why?”
“Her father reported her missing.”
My grip tightens on the door. “She’s not missing. She’s here.”
She nods. “We still need to speak with her.”
“About what?” I grit out.
For a second, nobody says anything. The two cops glance at the woman and something about that silence makes my skin crawl.
“May I come in?” she asks.
“No.”
“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” one of the cops pipes up. “Step aside.”
Every instinct in me is screaming to slam the door in their faces, but I can’t do shit with two cops standing there and Sophie behind me. So I step back because I don’t have a choice, and the second they walk in, I turn.
Sophie is standing by the bed, pale and frozen, and the sight of her like that twists something in my chest.
“It’s okay,” I tell her.
It’s a lie and we both know it.
The woman steps fully into the apartment and softens her voice when she looks at Sophie. “Hi, Sophie. My name is Marianne. Can we talk for a minute?”
Sophie doesn’t say anything. She just looks at me.
That look hits harder than anything else. Like I’m supposed to know what to do. Like I’m supposed to make this stop. Like I can still be the thing standing between her and the rest of the world.
I want to be.
Fuck, I always want to be.
“Come here,” I say, holding my hand out to her.
She comes straight over, and the second she presses into my side, I can feel her shaking. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her in closer.
The woman looks at Sophie, both cops standing behind her. “Your father reported that you left home without permission. Can I ask why?”
“He, um… hit me,” Sophie says, and her voice breaks on the words. “I didn’t want to stay there with him anymore.”
The woman nods. “Okay. Thank you for telling me that.”
I pull Sophie a little closer. “So she stays here, right?”
The woman looks at me then, and I know before she even opens her mouth that I’m about to hate whatever comes out.
“I’m sorry, but that isn’t how this works. You are not her legal guardian, Mr. Ellis. Until we can arrange emergency placement and open an investigation, we can’t leave a minor in your care without authorization.”
“She’s my sister.”
“I understand that.”
“No, you don’t.” My voice is rising now and I don’t care. “You don’t get it. She is not going back there.”
“She is not going back with her father this morning,” she says. “But we are taking her with us.”
“No. No, you’re not.”
The taller cop shifts forward and I move Sophie behind me without even thinking about it.
Marianne’s fingers tighten on the clipboard. “Mr. Ellis—”
“She stays here,” I say again. “Ask whatever you want. Call whoever you need to call. But you’re not taking her out of this apartment.”
“Showing aggression is not helping your case.”
“Cole,” Sophie whispers, stepping out from behind me. “It’s okay. I’ll go.”
I almost tell all three of them to get the fuck out of my apartment. Almost slam the door in their faces. But then I look back at Sophie and I can’t let her stand in the middle of that. She doesn’t need more shouting or another argument to be stuck in the middle of.
My jaw aches from how hard I’m grinding it. I can feel it all the way up into my skull.
“She doesn’t go back to him,” I say, looking straight at the woman.
“She will not go back with her father this morning,” she says again. “You have my word.”
It’s not enough. Not even close. But I’m standing here with nothing to fight them with except anger, and anger has already screwed me once before.
Sophie’s eyes are wide, begging me not to make this worse, so I swallow down all the rage and turn to the woman, swallowing hard.
“I need a minute with her,” I say.
Marianne nods and steps back.
I turn to Sophie and look down at her, seeing every version of her at once.
The little girl who used to climb into my bed when she was scared.
The kid I was supposed to protect better than this.
The sixteen-year-old standing in front of me now after running a thousand miles to get away from him, only to have them take her from me all over again.
I pull her into my arms and hold on tight, because fuck, I’m scared.
“I wanted to stay with you,” she says into my chest.
“I know,” I say, my voice rough. “Me too.”
I pull back just enough to cup her face and brush her hair off her cheeks. “Listen to me. I don’t know what’s happening or where they’re taking you, but you keep me updated every step of the way, you hear me? If you need anything, I don’t care what laws I have to break, I’ll get to you. Got it?”
Her eyes search mine. “You promise you won’t let him take me back?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and force myself to look steadier than I feel, even though it feels like something inside me is tearing open. “I promise I’ll do everything I can to fix this.”
She nods, like she’s trying really hard to believe me, and I pull her into me again. I help her finish packing her bag before I walk her to the door, my hand still on her shoulder the whole way because I can’t seem to make myself let go.
Right before she steps out, Sophie throws her arms around me. “I love you,” she whispers.
“Love you too, kid.” I close my eyes for a second and hold her tighter. “I promise I’m getting you away from him for good.”
She pulls back, and the look on her face just about destroys me.
Marianne leads her out, and I follow because I can’t seem to do anything else. I stand there and watch as Sophie gets into the back seat, and then the car pulls away, taking her with it because I still haven’t managed to get my shit together enough to get her out for good.
I stay there for a second after they’re gone, just staring at the spot where the car disappeared, trying to get my head back on straight, but the second I step back into the apartment, everything feels wrong.
I can’t stand being in here for another second. So I shove on a hoodie, jam my feet into my shoes, grab my keys, and leave.
The drive to campus is a blur, the same thought pounding through my head.
I should’ve fixed this already.
I should’ve gotten her out.
I should’ve done something other than stand there and let them take her.
I’ve slept maybe two hours in the last four days, and I feel every second of it. My eyes burn, my head is pounding, and my whole body feels like it’s vibrating.
As soon as I reach the rink, I put the car in park and head inside, pushing open Coach’s office door. He looks up the second I stop in the doorway, and whatever he sees on my face makes him turn off his monitor.
“Ellis.”
“Family services took her,” I tell him, feeling my hands shake. I drag both hands over my face. “They said I’m not her guardian, so they can’t leave her with me. Said they’re not sending her back to him today, but I don’t trust any of it, and I need help.”
I’ve never asked anyone for help. I’ve always learned to deal with shit on my own and figure it out. This feels embarrassing, but Coach is right. I’m not putting my pride above what Sophie needs. I have no clue what I’m doing here, and if I have to beg for help, I will.
“Alright. Sit down.”
I let out a rough groan and drag a hand through my hair. “I don’t want to sit down.”
Coach lifts a brow. “Pacing around my office isn’t going to help.”
I stop pacing and scrub a hand over the back of my neck as I drop into the chair, my leg bouncing the second I sit down.
He lets out a breath and rubs a hand over his jaw. “My wife handles family law. She’ll know what to do,” he says, reaching for his phone. “And if it’s not something she handles herself, she’ll know exactly who does. I’ll call her.”
He dials before I can say anything else, and I just sit there while he asks for his wife and starts explaining what happened.
When he hangs up, he looks at me and says, “She’s making calls.” I nod, but Coach’s eyes stay on me a second longer and his mouth tightens. “You look like hell.”
I let out a dry laugh and drag a hand over my face. “Thanks.”
“Have you slept at all?”
Another laugh slips out and I lean back in the chair, shaking my head. “Not really.”
Sleep feels impossible right now. I couldn’t get my head to shut off even before this. Not with Aurora gone. Not with everything I said to her still sitting in my throat, rotting there. And now Sophie’s gone too, and I feel stripped down to nothing but exhaustion and rage and panic.
Coach shoots me a look. “Skip practice today and go get some sleep.”
I look at him. “What? We have a game this week.”
“You’re no good to me or your sister if you run yourself into the ground. If you want to help her, then get your head on straight. Go home and wait for my call.”
I slump back in my chair and the second the room goes quiet, my head goes straight back to her.
I don’t even have to try to think about her anymore. She’s just there. In my kitchen. In my bed. In every corner of my head. Every time something happens, good, bad, whatever, she’s still the first person I want to tell, she’s still the first person my mind reaches for.
I want to tell her about Sophie. Want to just talk to her. Want her back in my life, in my arms.
“Go home, Ellis,” Coach says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I push to my feet and head for the door, but the second I step into the hall, my vision blurs for a second and I have to blink hard.
Fuck.
Maybe he’s right.
Maybe I really do need some sleep.
I stop short when I see the guys heading into the locker room to gear up for practice, and Ryan’s brows lift the second he gets a look at me.
“Everything good, man?” Logan asks.
I just let out a scoff because what the fuck do I say to that? Nothing is good. Not one fucking thing.
Ryan shifts his hockey bag higher on his shoulder and walks toward me. “So, uh…” He clears his throat. “Apparently I’m supposed to kick your ass.”
I blink at him. “What?”
He sighs. “Isabella said you hurt her best friend, and she told me to...” His brows pull together like he still can’t believe he’s repeating this. “Staple your balls to your forehead, I think.”
“Jesus, Cap,” Austin says. “Your girl is ruthless.”
A breath leaves me, all the fight draining out of my shoulders. “Go ahead,” I mutter, lifting one shoulder. “I deserve it.”
Because I do.
I hurt the one person I couldn’t stop wanting and made her feel like she meant nothing, when the truth is she got under my skin so deep I don’t think she’s ever coming back out. I broke her heart when all I wanted was to keep it. Keep her. Be the one she came to. Be the one she stayed with.
Ryan studies me for a second and shakes his head. “You already look fucked up enough.”
Austin’s usual grin is gone when he looks at me. “You know we’d do anything for you,” he says, and there’s not even the ghost of a joke in it. “Hell, we already got arrested for you. You can tell us what’s going on.”
I’ve spent so long keeping my shit to myself that even now, my first instinct is to shrug it off and act like I’m fine when I’m very obviously not.
Even when the guys asked me to move into the off-campus house with them, I said no. Partly because I couldn’t afford it and had to stay in a shitty shared dorm with a guy who gamed half the night, but mostly because I never got used to the idea of leaning on anyone.
But when I asked them to help me with Chase, it was the first time in a long time I didn’t feel like the world was crushing me.
And I’m tired.
So fucking tired.
Tired of carrying all of this alone. Tired of pretending I’ve got any of it under control. Tired enough that my shoulders finally drop and I let out a breath.
“My sister ran away from home a few days ago,” I say. “My dad hit her.” Every one of them goes still. “But CPS took her from me this morning.”
“Jesus Christ,” Logan mutters.
Ryan drops his bag onto the floor. “Why the hell didn’t you lead with that?” He drags a hand over his face. “Fuck. Definitely not stapling your balls to your forehead now.”
I huff out a laugh even after everything.
“My mom’s a family lawyer,” Nathan says, his brows pulling together. “I can ask her if—”
“Your dad already did,” I tell him, giving a short nod.
Austin steps forward first, still looking too serious for Austin. “Then what do you need?”
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
Because the truth is, I don’t fucking know.
“Need us to go beat the shit out of your dad?” he adds when I don’t answer.
Ryan cuts him a look. “Not helping.”
Austin lifts a shoulder and looks back at me.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to fix this. I don’t know how to get Sophie back. I don’t know how everything got so fucked all at once.
But standing here with the guys, I don’t feel completely alone anymore.