Lila #3
“Maybe we can pull corporate records. My friend Amara is general counsel for DiLuca construction. She’s great at that.”
“There’s one problem.” A little ball of dread had formed in my stomach when I was digging up information, and it had only grown during this conversation. “It’s based offshore in the Cayman Islands.”
“That’s sketchy as fuck.”
“Exactly. If it had been another lumber mill, a construction company, or a materials wholesaler, I probably wouldn’t have noticed. But it raised red flags.”
He considered me for a moment, his blue eyes piercing and his jaw tight once again. “Thank you for catching this. Let’s dig around and find every dealing the company has had with them. Then I can talk to the lawyers and try to pull some strings. Then, hopefully, we can learn more.”
He regarded me for a moment before giving a tip of his chin. “Good job.”
I shrugged, even as pride filled my chest. “It’s my job, boss.”
He winced a little at that title. “I suppose you’re right. I hired you to be smart and kick my ass when I needed it, and so far, you’re succeeding on both counts.”
He held out the box of chocolate bombs, so I traded him the fruity rings.
“Do you want to come to Portland with me on Friday?” He tipped the cereal box and poured a few sugary pieces into his hand.
“Gus was supposed to come, but he’s got to deal with an issue with the roads.
You’re a better option anyway. I need your sharp mind in there.
These types of meetings can get heated, so I need a fighter in my corner. ”
I kept my expression neutral, but on the inside, I was squealing.
He wanted me there. To help him negotiate a multi-million-dollar deal.
I was already completely distracted by how gorgeous he was in that white T-shirt, and now, after the way he’d just complimented me, I had to focus on my breathing to keep myself from full-out swooning.
He needed my mind. No one on earth had ever given me such an ego boost.
I was straight-up giddy at the prospect. “I’ll be there. And my spreadsheets will make them weep.” I rubbed my hands together and threw my head back, laughing maniacally.
A slow smile spread across his face, and the sight was like a shot to the heart. Teeth, lips and stubble, and that jawline.
“You’re really one of a kind, you know that?” He huffed out a laugh and rubbed at his jaw. “How are you so positive all the time? You haven’t had an easy road either. This town hasn’t been kind to you.”
Oh, what he didn’t know could fill volume upon volume of books, but I’d spare him the gory details. “As cheesy as this sounds, I’m trying to enjoy the journey rather than fixating on the destination.”
“That is cheesy.”
“I know. And I’m not ashamed. I spent too many years waiting for my life to begin.”
He nodded as if he understood. And despite our vastly different life experiences, I believed him. Like me, he believed that leaving Lovewell was the key to happiness. That real life would begin once we shed the trappings of small-town life.
For me, that meant taking off with Cole as soon as I could.
I ended up in Indiana, then Rhode Island, and then Florida, bouncing around from shitty job to shitty job, taking community college classes and piecing together a degree.
In the beginning, the plan was marriage and kids and hockey.
Then none of it actually happened. Which was a blessing, because somewhere along the way, those dreams had lost their luster.
“I’ve realized that real life is now. The decisions I make today matter. My attitude and effort and the way I show up for others matters. I don’t know what I want long term, and that’s okay. I’m evolving, and this town can’t stop me.”
“Shit.” He shook his head, taking off his glasses. For a moment, we were both silent. He lowered his chin and cleaned his lenses on his T-shirt, lifting the hem up just enough to reveal a tiny sliver of abs.
He looked up at me, his focus so intense I could feel it like a brand.
I wanted to look away, but I wouldn’t. Fuck it.
I could be myself when I was with Owen. My heart tripped over itself every time he looked at me, and my core throbbed every time thoughts of him consumed me, which was a lot.
This attraction was so all-encompassing there was no hiding it.
Even if nothing could ever happen, a girl could enjoy a little peek. Right?
I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the folding table. “What do you want, Owen?”
He tipped his head and opened his mouth, but rather than speaking, he snapped it shut again. As he slid his glasses back on, fumbling a little as he did so, he swallowed audibly. “I don’t think I can say.”
I bit my lip so hard I may have drawn blood. “Why not?”
“Because some things are better kept to myself.”
My heart pounded against my sternum, desperate for more. But the look of concentration on his face told me that he wasn’t giving up the details. Goddamn, this man had superhuman self-control.
He leaned back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair. “I want to finish this job, do this company justice, and then get the hell out of here. Every minute I spend here reminds me of how awful the world can be. My life in Boston isn’t perfect, but I’ve worked hard for it, and it’s my own.”
“Wow. Drama much?” I quipped before I could stop myself. Normally, I would just smile and nod, but Owen Hebert’s world was not awful, and I wouldn’t let him get away with thinking otherwise.
He shrugged. “Life sucks. Over and over, people prove themselves to be pretty terrible. We have to carve out a place for ourselves in this hyper-competitive world. Make our plans, work hard, and hope to find a little happiness along the way.”
“Spoken like a true optimist.” I narrowed my eyes at him and cocked my head. “You’ve got a lot to learn, Owen Hebert. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the world isn’t some Hobbesian dystopia where the strong exploit the weak and we kill ourselves struggling for survival?”
“Hobbesian dystopia?” He snorted. “Have you always been this smart?”
With a huff, I rolled my eyes. He wasn’t getting away with this doom and gloom bullshit with me. From where I sat, this guy had everything going for him. “Yes. But I used to be pretty, so no one bothered to notice, and I didn’t bother trying that hard to convince them.”
Instantly, his broody stare was replaced by a gentler expression. His eyes softened and his lips parted just a fraction. Then he was out of his chair, rounding the table, and pulling me to my feet.
With his hands on my shoulders, he looked into my eyes, his face sincere. “Don’t say that. You’re beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful. Period. And if people don’t notice how smart and empathetic and intuitive you are, then that’s their fucking problem.”
My breath caught as I studied him up close. His tone was harsh, as always, but his words were like a balm. This grumpy man saw straight through to my heart.
He was still clutching my shoulders as he angled in and brought his lips to my ear. When he spoke, they brushed the shell, sending a shiver through me. “And regardless of how painfully gorgeous you are, your mind, Lila, your mind is magnificent.”
My knees wobbled and my body lit up inside at my proximity to his dominant maleness. I’d received plenty of compliments in my life, but that one had just blown every other one out of the water.
He pulled back slightly, his attention fixated on my lips. Time froze as I regarded him, as the weight of his presence settled on me and the heat of his body enveloped mine. I wanted him to kiss me. No, I needed him to kiss me.
He scanned my face, his blue eyes darkening and full of desire as he fought an internal war.
For a brief moment, it was happening. He gripped me harder and leaned in.
I closed my eyes, desperate for the feel of his lips on mine. My heart took off, practically beating out of my chest.
And just like that, it was over.
He released his hold on me and took a step back. Even in the stifling office building, the loss of his heat was excruciating. Taking his glasses off again—another clear nervous tell—he lowered his focus to the table and shuffled long-forgotten paperwork. The self-control had won out.
I deflated. Because, for a moment, a flash of what being with Owen would be like had hit me. And I was desperate to feel it again.
“I’ve got a couple more things to finish up, then I’m going to head home,” he said, keeping his gaze averted. “I’ve got calls with some environmental consultants tomorrow, so I’ll see you Friday morning. I’ll pick you up and we can head to the meeting in Portland from there.”
“Sure,” I said, still rooted to the spot where he’d almost kissed me. I was being dismissed. My chest ached and my eyes stung, but I swallowed back the hurt. He’d drawn the line. And as much as I wanted to jump over it, I couldn’t.
But when I got home later that night, I began looking at the scenario from a different angle. Maybe tonight hadn’t turned out the way I wanted it to.
But one thing was clear. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.
I could work with that.