Owen
I’d missed this place. The city, my office, my apartment, my friends.
But we needed to get back to Lovewell today.
I had yet to sleep, but as the sky was turning from the darkest shade of blue and the sun was just peeking over the horizon, I poured coffee from the fresh pot into a mug and wandered out to the balcony to watch the sun rise over the harbor.
DiLuca had built this high-rise about seven years ago.
Enzo owned the penthouse, but my unit was two floors below.
It was too big for just me, but it faced due east, giving me a view of the harbor, the Tobin Bridge, and the most spectacular sunrises.
It was clean and modern, and though it was a bit sparse, I was proud of it.
It had been my first real adult home. Enzo and I boxed in an old gym a few blocks down the street, and the restaurant on the street level always saved me a seat at the bar when I needed dinner.
When I’d arrived in this city at eighteen, I’d had no clue what I was in for. I’d spent most days feeling overwhelmed. Early on, I’d gotten off at the wrong subway stops and gotten lost frequently. My mother had been hysterical when I’d made the decision to go to school here, but I was determined.
And somewhere along the way, I’d fallen in love with the city.
I bused tables at a fancy restaurant in Back Bay and eventually worked my way up to bartending.
I’d get off work around one and then go out for late-night pizza slices with my coworkers before crashing for a few hours and getting up to go to class the next day.
I smiled at the memories. I’d come a long way. And until a few weeks ago, I would have said I was really happy. But then I met Lila.
And it had become clear that I was missing one big thing in my life. Her.
I’d never longed for a girlfriend or a wife—some nameless, faceless idea of a person to fill a void. When I met a woman I liked and had things in common with, I dated, and I was single when it suited me.
I didn’t want a girlfriend.
I didn’t want a wife.
I wanted Lila.
Only her.
And if my past was any indication, I’d never want anyone else.
This weekend had changed things. It wasn’t just the sex, although that part had been incredible.
It was how I felt when we were together.
How even though we’d spent just about every waking moment in one another’s company, I still couldn’t get enough.
How easy it was to be with her, having fun, working hard, enjoying one another.
We’d shared meals and cracked jokes and sifted through endless spreadsheets.
We’d danced, and I’d finally been able to hold her close.
It was so damn perfect I had to pinch myself in order to make sure it had really happened.
Once we’d given in to our mutual attraction, it was almost impossible to stop. For a few hours, we managed to get dressed and act appropriately at the baseball game Beckett had summoned us to. But the moment the game ended, we ran back here and tore each other’s clothes off.
Last night, we’d sat on this balcony, eating gluten-free pizza at one a.m. and swapping stories about growing up in Lovewell.
Intimacy—something I’d always struggled with—was so easy with her.
We were honest and vulnerable. We laughed and fooled around and watched movies.
She teased me and wore my shirts, and already my condo felt less empty.
But now we had to go back to Lovewell. And reality.
“Owen?”
My heart stuttered at the sound of her voice. I shifted in my chair and found her standing in the doorway, wearing one of my DiLuca Construction hoodies and nothing else. Her hair was messy and there were sleep lines on her face. God, I was so fucking lucky.
I tilted my head, inviting her to join me on the balcony.
She sat and pulled her legs up under the hoodie. “Wow. This is beautiful,” she said softly as a large cargo plane flew overhead on its way to Logan Airport.
“You’re beautiful,” I countered, unembarrassed by my cheesiness. “Come here.” I patted my thigh.
Instead of getting up to snuggle with me, she sighed and gave me a pained look.
Oh shit. That simple look was enough to make dread curdle in my stomach.
I sat up straight and set my coffee on the small table between our chairs. “You okay?” I’d been so distracted by my thoughts and a night spent with Lila that I’d missed something.
She sighed. “I just think we should talk.”
I held my breath and waited for the axe to drop. Whatever was wrong, I doubted my proposed solution of staying here, in my condo, forever, would be well received.
She brought her knees up closer, my sweatshirt creating a cocoon around her body.
My heart sank. Her defensive posture told me everything I needed to know.
“I’ve had so much fun.”
“But?” I whispered as an ache formed behind my ribs.
“But I think we need to make sure we’re on the same page before we head back to Maine.”
“And which page would that be?” The words were harsher than I meant them, but I couldn’t help myself. I was sleep-deprived, and my brain was still flooded with oxytocin after spending a dream weekend with my dream girl.
She pinned me with a chiding look, and damn if my cock didn’t thicken at the reprimand. I considered picking her up, carrying her back to bed, and eating her delicious pussy until she saw sense. Instead, I laced my fingers over my abdomen and waited.
“I care about you so much,” she said, resting her chin on her knees so her hair fell around her face like a curtain.
She sniffled and wiped at what might have been a tear with the sleeve of my sweatshirt.
“This weekend was amazing. More than amazing. Being here with you, seeing the city and being part of your life for a couple of days, has meant everything to me.”
I swallowed as a lead ball sank in my gut. God, I’d been given the most incredible chance with the most incredible woman, and I’d managed to fuck it up. “Tell me what you want, Lila.”
“It’s not about what I want,” she said, giving me a sad smile. “It’s about what I need. I need to preserve the amazing memory of this weekend. I need to hold on to the connection we’ve shared.”
Hold on to our connection? That was exactly what I wanted, yet her resignation said that she and I had different definitions of that phrase. “But it can’t continue?”
She shook her head. “The last thing I need is to face the firing squad in town when it gets out that I’ve hooked up with my ex’s older brother.”
Hooked up? The words hit me like a punch to the gut. Here I was, mooning over her, feeling like I’d found the one, and, to her, I was nothing more than a casual hookup.
“My brother got you for eight years,” I spat, the anger inside me bubbling up. “And I only get a weekend?”
The moment the words came out of my mouth, I wished I could breathe them back in. God, I hated myself right now. I sounded exactly like Cole; selfish and petty.
Her face fell. “Is that what I am to you? A trophy? A revenge fuck? A toy you want to steal from your little brother?”
“No. Of course not.” I shook my head. “Lila, I’m sorry.”
She held up a hand. “That was shitty, Owen. The circumstances then and now are vastly different. You should be able to understand that.”
I put my head in my hands and cursed. God, I was making this worse. “I’m so sorry. I’m spiraling. I’ve got feelings for you. Real, complicated feelings. And I guess I saw this weekend as the start of something.”
She lowered her gaze. “We can’t start anything. I’m moving to New York in August. And you’re coming back here in a couple of weeks.”
“I don’t care,” I said. “I don’t care what people say or what they think. And I don’t care if we live hours apart. You’re amazing, and I want to spend as much time with you as I can.”
“We’re both so busy, and I can’t risk any more drama. We’ve had so much fun together.” That brought a sparkle to her eye that, even through her tears, told me she’d like to have a lot more fun.
I’d happily oblige.
I opened my mouth but snapped it shut again quickly. Nothing I could say right now would change her mind. The sadness etched into every line on her face made me want to hold her close and never let go.
She averted her gaze and clasped her hands in front of her. “We can still be friends.”
“I’m a shitty friend.”
“No, you’re not. All weekend, I met person after person who adores and respects you. You have no idea how lucky you are. You’ve built an incredible life for yourself. I’m proud of you, and I hope you can leave all the Lovewell bullshit behind soon and get back here.”
“The bullshit is so much more bearable when I’m with you.”
“I’m not going anywhere. We’re weeks away from closing this deal. Then you can go back to your life, and I’ll go start mine.”
I leaned back in my chair, pinching the bridge of my nose. There was nothing I could say that would change her mind. If I knew one thing, it was this woman was determined. And what did I have to offer her anyway?
“We should get packed up,” I said, standing so quickly my cold coffee sloshed over the rim of my mug and onto my sweats. “Car service is picking us up at nine.”