Lila
“Where are we going?” I asked, gripping his arm for dear life.
Owen had insisted I meet him in the parking lot of Hebert Timber, and when I arrived, he tied a scarf around my eyes as a blindfold.
“Shh. Just a bit farther.” He led me down what felt like a dirt path. “Okay.” He stood behind me and turned me toward the light that filtered through the scarf. Then he gently slid the fabric over my head and whispered, “Surprise.”
I shook my head to get my bearings and took in my surroundings.
We were in the small paved area behind the machine shop.
Twinkle lights hung from the building and nearby shipping containers.
A flatbed truck had been moved close, the bed set up with a big couch and ottoman and piled high with hand-knit blankets.
“What is this?” I asked as I turned slowly.
I’d just caught sight of a massive projection screen mounted to the side of a shipping container when he pressed a kiss on the sensitive spot behind my ear.
“This is a movie date, gorgeous.”
He stepped up beside me and offered me his elbow. Once I’d looped my arm through his, he guided me to where several folding tables were covered in a variety of gluten-free snacks and a bottle of prosecco chilled in an ice bucket.
“You did this?” I turned to him, my heart skipping.
He nodded, clutching my hands. “I wanted to have a special movie night with my girl.”
“Owen,” I pleaded. “You don’t have to go to all this trouble for me.”
He laughed and tilted my chin up, then gave me a chaste kiss. “I know I don’t have to. And this is nothing. But since I’ve never seen Say Anything, I wanted to make this showing of it special.”
“Say Anything!” I squealed, throwing my arms around his neck. “Thank you.”
“Now get comfy. I’ll bring snacks and drinks over.”
He gave me a hand climbing up into the truck bed, and once I was settled, he loaded up on treats, then draped a blanket over us both and snuggled close.
“How did you set this all up?”
It was incredible. Who knew a couple of pole barns and old shipping containers could look like this?
“Gus helped with the lights. He’s an electrician.”
I shifted to face him. “I thought he ran the cutting operations.”
“He does. But he went to technical school to become an electrician. My dad thought it would be an asset to the company.”
At the mention of Gus, I immediately felt guilty. He’d caught us together and I’d run away like a child.
“I need to apologize, actually. When he walked in the other day, I panicked. I feel like such an idiot, leaving you to talk to him.”
“It’s fine. He’s my family, and we had a good talk.” His voice trailed off like there was something else he wanted to say. There was definitely a but coming.
“But I don’t love how this feels. I don’t want to hide you or my feelings for you. You’re worth so much more than that.”
And the realization of just how selfish I was being hit me square in the gut. Owen was patient, mature, and selfless. He was trying to build something with me. And I was acting like a child.
“I’m sorry,” I said, wringing my hands. “I want to be ready to tell people. But first, I need to talk to Cole.”
He froze. We’d danced around the Cole issue a few times, but we’d yet to dive in. Mainly because it was painful and awkward, and I wanted the small amount of time I had with Owen to be fun. But again, this was on me and my constant desire to avoid conflict.
“I’m almost ready,” I promised. “I just need to do this at my own pace.”
He put his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. It was a far kinder reaction than I deserved.
“Gus came around quickly. He’s just overprotective. But he helped me do all this.”
I relaxed into him, enjoying the change of subject. “A man of many talents.”
“You have no idea. He’s also a really accomplished chainsaw artist, can cook like a Michelin star chef, and built his own house.”
“Overachiever,” I coughed into my hand.
Owen shrugged. “Oldest child syndrome. He’s one of those people who’s always learning something new, always pushing himself.” His tone implied some mockery, but in a lighthearted way.
I gave him a gentle shove. “Like you should talk, Mr. Ambitious Perfection.”
He put his hand on his chest and scoffed. “Me?”
I leaned forward, pulling him in for a kiss. “Yes, you. You set up an outdoor movie theater for me. You don’t need to try so hard.” I kissed him again.
He pulled me so close I was almost on top of him. He was always like this, urging me closer, his hands always on my body. It thrilled me.
“You were getting laid anyway,” I said, biting my lip.
He reared back a little, his brow furrowed, and gave me the stern daddy look that made my knees weak. “Lila, this has nothing to do with getting laid. I’m trying to show you how damn special you are.”
My heart practically floated right out of my chest at his sincerity. God, how did I have a chance in hell with this man?
I pulled him close and put my head on his chest. I knew I couldn’t keep him. That this couldn’t last forever. But was it wrong that I wanted it so badly?
“If you were home in Boston right now,” I asked, “what would you be doing?”
He blew out a breath. “On a Friday night? I’d be in my office,” he mused. “Enzo would stop by for a beer, and Amara would stop by to drop off contracts and get some sassy comments in. And then I’d work.”
I snuggled closer. “And after?”
“In our younger days, Enzo and I would work late and then hit a bar or club, have a few drinks, and unwind.”
“And meet ladies?” I hated how clingy I sounded.
“Sometimes.” He smoothed a hand down my hair. “But I was never great at that.”
“Bullshit.” I grinned up at him. “We both know the ladies of Boston were throwing themselves at you.”
A deep laugh rumbled out of him. “Not even close.”
I gave him an eye roll. “Okay, keep talking.”
“In the last several years, instead of going out to bars, we’d usually grab dinner and talk about work and sports.
Then I’d go home and crash. Enzo started dating Delia a few months ago, so that’s changed too.
Now he spends every free minute with her.
Not that I can blame him. She’s way better looking than me. ”
“That must have been hard to adjust to.”
He shrugged. “Enzo is my brother in every way but blood. He deserves his happiness. Delia is a handful, and so are her twin girls, but he is so damn happy. And he’s finally working less.
It’s good to see him so content, even if I don’t get to see him as much.
But this is what he wants. He’s a big family guy. ”
Maybe it was the wine or the mild weather or the adorable romantic gesture he’d gone to all this trouble to set up, but suddenly, I wanted to share. Hell, I needed to share.
“That’s actually one of the reasons Cole and I didn’t work out,” I said tentatively.
I felt his body stiffen next to me. “What do you mean?”
“He wanted a very specific kind of life. Marriage, lots of kids, house up here in Maine.”
“And you don’t want that.”
I shook my head. “I don’t. I guess I thought that once he got a pro contract, we’d settle in the city and I’d build my career and we’d travel in the off-season.
But then it started to look like hockey wasn’t going to work out, and he started to talk about having kids soon and buying a house up here.
“My mom had me when she was in high school. You know that.” I sat up so I could face him completely. “For every single minute of my life, I’ve been aware of just how much of a burden I was.”
“You are not,” he protested, grasping my hand.
“Logically, I know that. My mom has never made me feel as though she didn’t want me, and she has devoted her life to caring for me. But I’ve seen the toll it’s taken on her. She put her own life on hold for me.”
He stared at me, his lips parted as if he was surprised by this revelation.
“My whole life, the world has just assumed I’d get married and have kids. Be some guy’s wife and some kid’s mom. It took me a long time to realize that I get to call the shots and decide what’s right for me. The real me, not some idealized version. And I’m good with just me.”
I could remember the sheer panic I felt when Cole brought it up.
The immediate desire to run away and hide.
Our relationship was hanging on by a thread at that point, so even if I’d wanted kids, I wouldn’t have wanted to bring them into that dysfunction.
And I’d spent so much time supporting his dreams, and he hadn’t even bothered to ask me what mine were.
It was so typical of Cole. He just assumed I’d go along with whatever he wanted.
“I realize that’s probably a deal-breaker for you,” I said, feeling nauseous. We hadn’t defined the future yet. We were still tiptoeing around the fact that he was leaving soon.
He took a sip of his prosecco and looked out into the dark for a long moment before peering down at me. “Can I be honest?”
“Always.”
He looked away again. “I don’t want kids either.”
I bolted upright. If I’d been drinking my prosecco, I no doubt would have done a spit-take. Owen Hebert? He had responsible family man written all over him.
“I want a partner,” he clarified. “I want to be one-half of that kind of family. I want nights where we cook meals together and vacations, just the two of us. I want someone to come home to, someone to share my life with. Maybe a pet or two.” He took another sip. “But kids? Nah, probably not for me.”
I was well and truly shocked. Owen Hebert would make the best kind of dad. He was authoritative and could be strict, but he was patient, kind, and successful.
“Really?” I asked.
His nod was slow. “My family is huge. Our house was pure chaos. I guess I’ve never felt the urge to create a life like that. It’s not to say that I don’t like kids. I love Merry. And I can’t wait for the new baby to arrive.
“And being here these past few weeks has made me realize how much I want to be closer to my brothers and my mom. I want to work on strengthening those relationships. But I have just never had any interest in children of my own.”
Huh. This conversation had taken a very deep and very strange turn. But I wanted to know everything about Owen. I wanted to dig down deep and get to know all the parts of him, even the not-so-great ones. I’d never experienced this kind of honesty and intimacy before, and I was hooked.
I shifted, nestling myself in closer again.
“Ooh,” I said. “I forgot to mention a cat. I really want a cat. I’m getting one as soon as I’ve got a home and a job. Maybe two cats. We’ll see.”
He was silent, like I’d stunned him speechless, so I gave him a shove.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He shook his head. “I just didn’t figure you for a cat lady.”
I elbowed him. “Big time cat lady. When I die, I’m going to leave them everything. I’ll make sure they have a butler to wait on them and everything when I’m gone.”
We were both laughing now, but the air had grown heavy, and a weight had dropped into my stomach.
Likely sensing it too, he pulled his phone from his pocket, pressed a few buttons, and pulled me close.
I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a mental snapshot of this perfect night. Something I could look back on to give me hope when things were difficult. To remind myself of how two struggling people came together and built one another up while having a lot of fun in the process.
“You’ve set me up with high expectations. I hope this ’80s teen rom-com can deliver.”
“Oh, it can and it will. Just shut up and enjoy your vintage Cusack.”
“You know, he’s old enough to be your dad.”
“How dare you? His charm is timeless. Pay attention, Hebert. You could learn a thing or two from Lloyd Dobler.”