Chapter 19 #2
My heart clenched with affection for her. “It’s how it all started. She wanted to be wild. She was feeling like she’d missed out during her twenties since she’d spent them all working nonstop to become a doctor. So I offered to help her cut loose.”
“And now you’re cooking and cleaning and playing house?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Pretty much. But it still feels wild. For me, at least. Depending on her, working with her, spending my days eager to see her. It feels so damn good. I know it’s dangerous—”
“It’s more than dangerous, dude. You’re not only risking a broken heart. You’re also risking your relationship with Owen.”
I sighed. I’d considered this. But the truth was that I had no real relationship with Owen. He’d always disliked me. At this point, I didn’t have much hope that would ever change.
And my feelings? Sure, it would be awful if they weren’t reciprocated. But damn if I wasn’t falling a little more in love with her every day. And the farther I fell, the more painful it was keeping it to myself.
“I don’t care,” I told him. “My main concern is that she’s the one taking the bigger risk.
Her parents mean everything to her. Her job too.
You should see her. She is incredible. To lose the respect of the community or disappoint her parents?
” I shook my head. The idea of it made me ill.
“And not to mention Lila is her best friend.”
Jude steepled his fingers and tapped them against his lips. “You really love her.”
“I think I do.” Chest aching, I buried my head in my hands. I was so fucked. “I should never have kissed her. It was selfish. There is too much at stake to give in to what I want like that.”
“Slow down, brother. She did marry you, so you have an in. I think this is a situation where you have to sit back and follow her lead. No pressure, no expectations. Be the husband she needs and bide your time.”
I nodded. That made sense. She had a lot on her plate. She didn’t need me slobbering all over her while she was up to her eyeballs in responsibilities.
He got up and paced. After a moment, he stopped in the middle of the room.
“You gotta convince her you’re worth the risk. Show her the kind of man you are, what you’re capable of.” He put his hands on his hips. “Keep up with the therapy. It’s clearly doing you good. If you’re growing and putting the party guy persona behind you, then she will see and appreciate that.”
His tone made me cringe.
“I’m not that guy anymore,” I said, keeping my voice low and my eyes downcast. “Haven’t had a drink since that night in Vegas, and I have no plans to.”
“Good for you.”
“I want to be better.” I looked up at him again. “Be worthy of her. And I want to show her that.”
He grinned at me, the expression especially effusive for my reserved brother. “You’re a Hebert. I’m pretty sure you can prove it to her.”
“You sound like Finn.” My middle brother, the prior service Navy pilot, was all confidence.
“You could learn a thing or two from him. He got his girl, and trust me, she put him through the fucking wringer.” He smiled. “She’s awesome.”
He wasn’t wrong on that count. Adele Gagnon was a force of nature, and it was clear in every interaction I’d witnessed that she made the hyper-cocky Finn work for it.
Jude walked out of the room, shouting “get your ass up. I need to move” over his shoulder.
I obeyed, cringing. What was with people forcing me outside in the cold while mid-conversation?
“Now,” he barked, heading toward the door with Ripley on his heels.
He put on his Carhartt jacket and boots, and I did the same.
“Where are we going?”
He pulled a wool hat over his head and stepped outside. “To chop wood.”
“Why?”
“Because chores gotta get done, and it helps me think,” he said, pulling the door shut behind me. “Plus, it wouldn’t kill you to chop some wood, brother. You’re descended from a proud lumberjack lineage.”
He headed down his driveway toward a large shed. He was shorter than me, yet to the rest of the world, he was considered tall. And he hiked through the snow with speed. I followed him, shaking my head. I hadn’t swung an axe in years.
Jude unlocked his shed and pulled the string hanging from the ceiling, illuminating the single bulb.
Like the rest of his house, this little building was meticulously organized, with a lawnmower and snowblower lined up neatly.
Peg boards on the walls held tools sorted into type, scrap wood was stacked on racks, and several chopping tools hung in a row from the largest axe to the smallest hatchet.
He opened a drawer and handed me a pair of leather work gloves. “This one,” he said, taking a large tool off the wall. “This is a small splitting maul. Should be good for you.”
Maul in hand, I followed him back outside and around the structure to where a lean-to had been built into the side.
He rolled out a few cut logs. Then he picked up his own maul. “I assume you know what to do with that?”
I nodded, lining up and swinging.
The blade hit the wood, but rather than slicing it in two, it got stuck halfway.
With a laugh, Jude took the maul from my hand and wedged it out with his boot.
“Use your knees,” he said, bending his own knees in demonstration. “And drive with your whole body.”
I nodded and tried again. This time, the log split, but not evenly. One side was way larger than the other.
“Better. Do it again.”
My next swing was better. I threw the cut pieces into the pile and grabbed another log.
While I worked slowly, Jude effortlessly and efficiently chopped half a forest a few feet away. I paused for a moment, watching each movement, trying to understand his technique.
We chopped and chopped, and with each swing, my form improved. My back ached, and I was sweating through my clothes, but it felt good.
“You’re not bad,” he said, leaning against a tree. “We could train you. Get you competition ready.”
I scoffed. “Doubtful.”
“I mean it. Gus is incredible with a chainsaw, and Finn can throw an axe with incredible aim. I can climb and have decent speed. But you? You’re fast and strong and have those crazy long arms. We could use you on the team.”
My heart skipped a beat. Team?
“You guys still compete?”
“Only once in a while. Did that thing last summer against the Gagnons. Bastards beat us, but that was to be expected, with Remy on the pro circuit now. But yeah, once in a while, we get together for town events and charity stuff.”
The wheels in my head started turning.
“Would you be interested in doing something at RiverFest next year? A competition or a showcase or something?”
“Sure. You gonna run the thing again?”
That was the big question. The mayor had already asked me to, but I hadn’t given him an answer. I wasn’t sure where I’d be then. I really wanted to get back to school in the fall, but the idea of walking away, knowing the town could really use the revenue didn’t sit well with me.
“I’m helping right now, but they’re looking for someone to take over.”
“Shame,” he said with a shake of his head. “You did a good job.”
“Thanks.”
Jude picked up his maul and headed back to the shed. Apparently that conversation was over. I neatly stacked the freshly cut wood under the roof of the lean-to so it would stay dry, then I followed.
“Keep that,” he said, gesturing to the maul in my hand. “And unlock your trunk.”
Frowning, I narrowed my eyes at him. “I don’t need it.”
Ignoring me, he jogged to the uncut log pile. He scooped a couple up, then strode to my truck.
I pulled my key fob out and hit the button to raise the liftgate.
“You need it now,” he said as he dropped them into the cargo area. “Go home, chop some firewood. You’ve got good form.”
“Like to train?”
He rolled his eyes. “No. To impress your girl. Ladies love a lumberjack.”
I barked out a laugh. I was many things, but a lumberjack was not one of them.
“I mean it. Women get feral about woodchopping. You wanna know if she’s into you? Casually chop wood and then start a fire for her.”
“That is pure caveman shit.”
Head lowered, he shook it, grinning. “Sometimes you gotta go full lumberjack to get the girl. You own any flannel?”
“Yeah.”
He gave me a nod. “You know what to do.”
With a sigh, I closed the liftgate, eyeing the logs and the splitting maul as I did. I guess I was going full lumberjack.
“You’re not gonna tell me she’s too good for me?”
He frowned, a crease forming between his brows. “Cole, you need to believe that you’re good enough for her. And I can see you’re working on it.”
When I headed over here with cookies, I couldn’t have imagined this would be where we’d end up. But I wasn’t complaining. Sharing this felt good. Jude had always been a good listener, but even so, his consideration had surprised me.
“Show her the kind of man you are,” he urged. “Hell, show yourself the kind of man you are. She may want more, and she might not. But you’re gonna come out of this a better person either way.”
My stomach twisted itself into a knot. “You seem so sure.”
“I’ve watched three of our brothers fall in love. And every single one of them had a hefty dose of personal shit to work through before getting there. You’re in it, Cole. You’re doing the work. Now it’s time to trust yourself.”
“Thank you.” I swallowed back the emotion burning at the back of my throat. “I really owe you.”
He waved me off and turned back to his house. “Go home and impress your girl.”