Victoria
Iwas engrossed in my newest audiobook purchase and folding laundry when a knocking sound caught my attention. Tapping Pause, I cocked my head and listened. When a second knock sounded on the door, I abandoned the towels on my bed and hustled out of the bedroom.
Noah hovered in the hallway, wearing a tight T-shirt that showed off his tattoos and a backward baseball cap. Tess was propped on his hip, gnawing at Sophie the Giraffe’s head, a drop of drool clinging to her chin.
He gave me one of his cocky smiles. “Get changed. We’re going hiking.”
Even as a thrill shot through me, I lazily leaned on the doorframe. “Really?”
He had mentioned it the other day, but I hadn’t thought he was serious. For the last ten days, I had spent most evenings upstairs. We took turns making dinner and playing with Tess, then we slept in shifts between episodes of Schitt’s Creek. We’d already made it halfway through season two.
“Tess is going stir crazy.” He kissed the top of her head, making me melt a little inside. “She requested a waterfall. So we’re gonna do the Waterford trail to Moxie falls.”
With a huff of a laugh, I straightened. “She requested X falls?”
The girl’s signing game was on point, but at ten months old, her conversation mostly revolved around food.
Moxie falls was about forty minutes outside of town. The short hike there was challenging, but the exquisite views and the small wading pools made it worth the effort.
He nodded. “My girl gets itchy if she doesn’t get enough forest time. Come on. It’s gonna be a beautiful day.”
Tess held her free hand out to me and shouted, “Ick-Ick.”
In the last couple of days, she’d started calling me “Ick-Ick,” and though it wasn’t the most flattering moniker, I was shamelessly thrilled she’d given me a name. I felt like the coolest kid in the world when she smiled at me and shouted it at full volume.
“Okay, give me ten minutes.”
“Meet us at the Caffeinated Moose. We’ll pick up coffee and sandwiches for the road.”
I dug my beat-up old daypack out of the bottom of the closet and tossed a hat and gloves into it, then threw on a few layers.
May in Maine was far colder than most realized.
A water bottle, granola bars, and an extra pair of socks rounded out the extent of my hiking prep.
Knowing Noah, he’d have every type of emergency supply ever created in his truck, so my minimalist approach would be fine.
When I stepped into the coffee shop, Tess was beaming. Several locals were cooing at her, and she was basking in the attention. She wasn’t the only one being fawned over, either. There were more than a few women cooing at Noah as well.
The hot dad look was really working for him. The tight T-shirts, the backward hat, and the full sleeve of tattoos only made the babywearing look sexier.
With a big smile, he reached past Mrs. Dupont, holding out a large latte.
Before I could take a sip, she was watching me, her focus intense. “I knew it.” She stomped her foot. “You two are dating.”
“Uh,” I said, mouth full of lava-hot coffee.
“Jodie, Steph,” she called to a small group of women in the back corner of the shop. “You owe me. They are together.”
Jodie, or Miss Wetherbee, as I called her when she was my elementary school PE teacher, gave us a thumbs-up.
“Actually,” I said, nudging Noah, who was chuckling. “We are not dating. We’re friends.”
“And neighbors,” he added.
Tess yelled, “Ick-Ick,” the sound ear-piercing, and reached for me.
Cheeks heating, I took her from Noah and balanced her on my hip, turning away so I could take another sip of coffee without her getting her hands on it. It was the best I could do to avoid speaking more about this.
Mrs. Dupont frowned and looked from Noah to me and back again. “Sure, you’re not.”
Noah smiled. “We’re neighbors. Victoria came upstairs last week because I was making a lot of noise trying to get Tess to sleep. From there, we became friends.”
It sounded so simple when he explained it. It was true. Though we’d only really gotten to know each other over the last several days, we’d become good friends. And I adored Tess. She was a bright ray of sunshine in my life. Day after day, I looked forward to seeing her.
Noah himself was good company. He was funny and relaxed and so adorably in over his head with an infant to care for.
Our friendship came with no pressure, no expectations. The antithesis of being with Graham. Even being in the same room with my ex would make me anxious and self-conscious. Did I look okay? Was I saying and doing the right things? Talking too much? Too little?
In the little cocoon of Noah’s apartment, we played with the baby, shared casual dinners, and laughed at a funny sitcom. I never wore makeup or put effort into sounding intelligent. It was refreshing, being 100 percent myself.
Sure, he was easy on the eyes and a lot of fun to hang out with, but I didn’t have it in me to experience attraction or desire. Not anymore. Those sensations had died with Graham’s betrayal and my divorce.
And while I was annoyed at the invasive questions and town gossip, it beat the hell out of being asked when I was going to have a baby.
Those questions and comments killed me every single time.
I was always amazed by how even casual acquaintances felt entitled to information about my fucking uterus.
I gave her a sweet smile. With a little huff, Mrs. Dupont went back to her table. Probably to spread more gossip. Once she’d settled in and peeked over her shoulder at us, we grabbed our snacks and headed to the car.
On the drive to the trail, we played “We Didn’t Start the Fire” on repeat.
It was Tess’s favorite song. She danced in her car seat, babbling along and rocking out.
The third time through, I pulled out my phone and started googling the historical references Noah and I didn’t understand.
Turns out I didn’t know all that much about the Cold War.
After zipping Tess into her puffy coat and pulling a hat with pink cat ears over her head, Noah put her in a hiking backpack. The moment she was settled on his back, she kicked her heels and screeched a happy sound.
The forest around us was dense, and the light dappled as it broke through the trees here and there.
I’d never get tired of this. The beauty and grandeur of Maine. The ability to exist in the wilderness. No cars, no noise, no chaos.
The peaceful soundtrack created by the crunching of our boots on the trail, the rushing of the water ahead, and the chirping of the birds.
Though it was technically spring, a sunny forty-degree day like this was about as good as it got this time of year, so I relished every moment I could.
There was no better place to stretch my legs and clear my head. Alexandra’s wedding was two weeks away, and the lump in my throat grew every time I thought about it. By now, it was a wonder I hadn’t choked to death on it.
At the advice of Aunt Lou, I’d bought a really gorgeous dress. It was deep purple and dipped low in the back. When I tried it on, I’d felt like a tall, glamorous supermodel rather than a thirty-five-year-old pear-shaped woman who was barely five-six.
Despite the gorgeous armor I’d don and the fashion therapy session, suffocating dread filled me each time I imagined watching Alexandra, with her baby bump and white dress, soaking in the attention at her big white wedding while my family made a fuss over Graham.
Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away and focused on the path and the little girl who was babbling and clapping as birds flew overhead.
My legs burned already. I relished the sensation. This was good. Nature and exercise. This was part of the reason I’d moved back to Maine.
We stopped for water a couple of times, and within an hour, we had reached the base of the falls. Massive rock formations created a small break and tide pools swirling with icy cold water.
Up ahead, the falls roared, the water raging down the stark granite, all power and fury.
We settled on a large flat rock next to a small pool, far from the danger of the falls. Noah took Tess out of her carrier and set her on the ground, where she immediately picked up a rock and inspected it. She set it down and found another.
Between sips of water, Noah shook his head. “I spent so many years swearing I didn’t miss Maine.”
“Same. I vowed I’d be a city girl for life, but when my life went sideways, I hustled right back up here. It didn’t take long once I was back to realize that’s what I am. A Mainer.”
A low chuckle rumbled out of him. “It suits you.”
We broke out our picnic, Tess delighting in the frosted maple scone Noah set on a camping plate for her. She gummed it with a grin, then broke off pieces for her rock friends, who she had arranged in a circle where she sat.
“You gonna tell me why you seem so upset?” he asked gently.
Inhaling deeply, I watched the falls. Could I?
“No pressure.”
Normally I would change the subject. I’d been taught at a young age that being ruled by emotions was bad. That I should deflect and deny. Make pleasant small talk and keep my feelings to myself.
But I was tied up in knots, and they were making it impossible to enjoy this beautiful day.
Noah and I had been sharing meals and sleeping in the same bed for the last week. At different times, of course, but still.
We were friends. Good friends.
“My youngest sister is getting married in two weeks.”
He sat patiently, head tilted, waiting for me to elaborate.
“She’s marrying my ex-husband, and the thought of going to the wedding makes me want to vomit. On top of that, she’s pregnant. After experiencing infertility and divorce and a thousand other terrible scenarios, I don’t know if I can do it.”
He turned his hat around, as if putting it on the right way would help him think, and steepled his fingers.
Shit, he was gorgeous.
“Hold on.” He sat up straight. “Your ex-husband is marrying your baby sister? Isn’t she a lot younger than you are?”
I nodded. “Nine years. Six years younger than Elizabeth. She was an oopsie baby.”