Jude #2
She trailed off, taking in our surroundings not with the intent of searching for the phone, but in wonder, really drinking in the scene.
“The last time I was here, I was terrified. But sitting here with you, I feel safe.”
My heart stuttered at her words. My instinct was to puff up with pride. Of course I could keep her safe. But I reined it in. In reality, that safety was only an illusion. She was in danger. We both knew it.
But her attitude was contagious. This place was beautiful. The foliage and the crisp air fueled me and encouraged me to keep going.
She reached into the pocket of the giant jacket I’d lent her and held out a treat to Ripley, who sat patiently, her tail beating the dirt path with excitement.
“I love this dog.” She leaned forward and scratched her ears. “You are the best girl, Ripley. The best.”
With a quiet groan that betrayed just how much this excursion had taken out of her, she sat up.
“Where did you get her?”
I opened my mouth, but before I could respond, a familiar sound interrupted me.
“Do you hear that?” I pivoted, scanning the trees. “There,” I said, pointing at a massive curved oak up ahead. “That’s an American redstart.”
She squinted, one hand blocking the sun from her eyes. “The little black bird?”
I hummed. “See his long tail and the orange streaks?”
She nodded.
“They’re a protected species up here. Listen.”
We sat perfectly still, and eventually, the bird opened its flat bill and let out a series of melodic squeaks and chirps.
“That’s different.”
“Yes, their warble is longer than that of most birds. We’ve done a lot up here to protect habitats, and I did a lot of research, so I nerd out when I see one.”
She picked at the trail mix and grinned. “You’re a birdwatcher? Never would have guessed that.”
“I’m a student of the forest.” I leaned back on my hands. “Spent my life out here, getting to know the trees and the animals. And birds are fascinating creatures.”
“You’re full of surprises.” She rubbed Ripley’s head, her expression softening. “Now where did you find this beautiful creature and how sad will you be when I steal her?”
Ripley watched Mila, her eyes full of love and devotion. The sight sent a surge of panic through me. She really could steal my beloved dog. Ripley would probably go willingly, and I didn’t think I’d have the heart to stop her.
“She found me.” I poured trail mix into my hand and tossed it into my mouth.
“Up at the Northwest Camp, near the Montreal border. It’s been about five years now, I think.
We went up one early spring, while the ground was still frozen, to do a survey and collect some data.
We were sleeping in an old camp hut with no heat.
It was nearly impossible to sleep with the number of mice scurrying around in the walls and ceiling.
I was lying in bed, wide awake, when I heard a crying sound.
I shoved my feet into my boots and pulled on my coat, then went out to investigate. ”
Mila’s eyes widened. “Was she hurt?”
I nodded. “I found her in the deep woods. She’d dug herself a little den under a boulder.
She had a broken leg. Her fur was matted and she was scraped up pretty badly.
” I scratched her chin, assessing her now.
My beloved Ripley. How far we’d both come since that day.
She was the most loving, protective creature on earth.
She went everywhere with me, and at night, she slept in her special bed, on the floor right next to mine.
“We were hundreds of miles from civilization. I couldn’t tell you where she came from, but she was small and scared and I…” I dropped my head between my knees. The thought of how malnourished she was back then always hit me hard.
“You’re a protector,” Mila finished with a light elbow to my ribs. “No denying it.”
“Something like that.” I straightened, keeping my forearms on my knees. “So I brought her home and took her to the vet. After that, we were inseparable. I had no idea she’d grow into the size of a small horse, but I’m not complaining.”
The gentle beast gazed up at me with those soulful dark eyes, showing me again that she understood so much more than I realized.
The vet had suggested she was part wolf hound. It made sense, with the dark gray fur with the occasional black spot. She had a white circle around one eye, which wasn’t a wolf hound trait, but she was perfectly Ripley.
“She adores you,” Mila said, pulling another treat from her pocket. “I’ve never had a pet. Always wanted one, even though I wasn’t sure I was a dog person.”
“Even as a kid?”
She nodded. “My parents worked a lot. I swore that when I was grown, I’d get a cat. I love cats.”
Ripley wrinkled her snout as if disgusted by the suggestion.
“But then I traveled all the time, chasing stories and packing up with a day’s notice. So it never felt practical.”
“You’re a dog person,” I assured her. “And you can hang out with Ripley any time you want. She’s pretty ambivalent about people, but she likes you.”
A smile spread across Mila’s face. “It’s mutual.” She stood, brushing crumbs off her lap. “We should get back to work.”
I packed up the Thermos while she continued to scan with her flashlight, kicking leaves and dirt to clear a path.
“And I wasn’t kidding about stealing her,” she teased.
A couple of hours later, we’d covered a significant portion of our route, but we’d had no success, and the cold was setting in.
We’d been at it since sunrise, and after our snack break, I’d felt recharged, but now I was quickly losing steam.
Mila’s calm from earlier had morphed into agitation. All morning, I’d reassured her that if we stuck to the grid, it would turn up. But the longer we searched, the harder it was to remain positive.
With her back to me, she hunched over, sniffling.
Gut lurching, I hopped over a fallen tree and darted for her.
“Are you hurt?” I took her good hand between mine to warm it and ducked, catching her sorrowful eyes.
She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears.
“We will find it,” I said with a conviction I didn’t feel.
“What if we don’t?” she whispered as the tears crested her lashes and tracked down her cheeks. “What if it got smashed or broken and it’s all gone?” Before I could respond, she pulled her hand away and fisted it at her side. “This is hopeless. I’m a complete failure.”
The words had me snapping up straight. I was used to confident Mila, sassy Mila, and injured Mila. But sobbing Mila was distressing. She hadn’t made an appearance since that first full day after she was attacked.
The pain and defeat in her tone tore at me, ripping me apart.
Without thinking, I pulled her into my chest and wrapped my arms around her, careful of her shoulder. I rested my chin on her head and held her as she cried into my chest.
This was all I could offer her. Warmth and comfort.
I’d fucked up. I’d promised her we’d find the phone, and I hadn’t delivered.
I held her close, aching to make this all go away.
“Let’s take a break. We can come back tomorrow.”
“No.” She sniffled. “Every minute that we don’t have the evidence is another minute these fuckers are hurting people.”
I eased back and surveyed her face, cataloging the fierce determination in her eyes.
In that moment, my world shifted.
As I held her shaking body while she spoke with such steel in her voice, I knew I was gone.
Life would never be the same.
And while that should have terrified me, the realization brought nothing with it but peace.