Chapter Sixteen. Etan #2
“She trained you as a healer,” I said, admiration lacing my tone.
Few knew much about my upbringing prior to when I’d come to live with Rheaghan and Mab, but it sounded as if Fallon’s knowledge was the human equivalent of what my mother had been gifted with as a Goddess.
Levana was the Goddess of Witchcraft and Magic, and the legend stated that the witches had been one of her creations—that they worshiped her within their covens even still.
She was far more their mother than she had ever been mine.
I possessed little of her magic within me, only successfully channeling it when I combined my father’s magic with hers. They’d both been Gods, and unlike Caldris, I hadn’t been blessed with enough magic to call myself a second-generation God.
“There must have been a lot of sick and injured in order for that to fill your days,” I observed, feeling uncomfortable with the similarities that seemed to hit too close to home.
We both had the same heritage in a way, Fallon through experience and me through blood, but neither of us alone had the magic it took to truly harvest such skills.
Living on the fringes of something great, without ever really being able to grasp it.
“It didn’t take all my time,” Fallon said, a wistful sort of smile transforming her face as her cheeks flushed with pink.
She studiously kept her gaze forward, avoiding the stare that I kept on the back of her head—waiting for her to look at me.
“I spent a lot of time writing in notebooks that Imelda would bring me after a team returned from a supply run. Dreaming of far-off lands and places that I would never get to see. The people of the rebellion were close, because we were so confined together. There was always entertainment that came in companionship, and that was highly encouraged in our community—the more partners the better, because there were fewer women than men. That was just for fun, though. I wasn’t one of the women who did that as a day job, so to speak. ”
“Stop talking,” I snapped, realizing that she was rambling. I knew it was probably her discomfort, but I couldn’t decide what had provoked her to tell me about her history. I couldn’t even decide if she was serious or if it was a cruel prank to push me away.
I had no business feeling possessive because of her past partners. It wasn’t as if I’d been celibate, for fuck’s sake.
“Are you a virgin, then?” she asked, turning to look at me with a smirk that made it clear that flush hadn’t been out of embarrassment at all.
She was trying to get under my skin, the little helfire.
“Or are there plenty of previous partners that I’ll have the pleasure of bumping into once we reach the Summer Court? ”
“Ah, well, I—” I cut off, clearing my throat. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead, but none of my previous partners were serious. They won’t be an issue for you.”
“Good. I’m not the jealous type. In fact, I think you’ll find I’m quite open to sharing, but I do have a problem when others get possessive over something that doesn’t belong to them either—”
“There will be no sharing, Sunfire. You’re the only woman I need, and I would like for that to be reciprocated,” I said, taking a deep breath so that I didn’t show my entire ass and declare ownership of Fallon.
While she hadn’t outright told me her dreams, I was getting to know them slowly through the things she didn’t say and the hints of what else was there.
“That sounded like it hurt,” she said, snorting out a laugh that shook her entire chest.
“Do I get credit for trying?” I asked, grinning at her as I leaned forward and touched my forehead to hers.
Her hazel eyes flashed with warmth, the cool tones seeming to burn as she sucked back a breath but didn’t turn away.
Her mouth was so close to mine that I could almost taste her, and I waited to see if she would close the gap between us.
She let her eyes drift closed instead, her words tumbling out as if she couldn’t control them.
She needed something to sever the moment, to pull her back from the desire that pulsed between us like something I could reach out and grasp in my hand.
“I want to see the world,” she said, making everything in me tense.
“I don’t want anything to tie me to one place.
When I dreamed of far-off lands, it was with the hope that one day I would be able to start walking and never stop.
Imelda gave me the skills I needed to survive that if I ever did it.
You want monogamy, and I can’t give that to you unless I stay.
I don’t want to be a prisoner anymore, Etan.
I want to roam beneath the stars and know what it’s like to be free and go where I want, when I want—”
I silenced her, leaning forward to touch my mouth to hers.
The vulnerable words should have cautioned me away, a conflict rising between what the two of us needed.
After our visit to the baths in a few days time, Fallon and I would be crowned King and Queen of the Summer Court.
She would need to be present at my side in order for us to rule, and all she wanted was to leave.
But the admission was the first piece of vulnerability Fallon had offered me; it felt like a truce between us, and I had to have faith that we would be able to compromise. That we could see the world together and return home to the court that needed us when our business was finished.
She froze beneath my lips, her words dying off as I traced the seam of her mouth with my tongue.
The angle of her head was awkward, but she turned her head more to face me fully as she let out a little sigh that I swallowed greedily.
When the tension bled from her body on that sigh, I pressed closer and kissed her slowly, giving her the time necessary to change her mind.
She didn’t, instead releasing a little growl of frustration as she carefully swung her leg over the top of Thunder’s neck and turned to the side.
She repeated that process as he tensed beneath her, but she was as careful as she could be and mindful of his spine as she pulled her leg over.
The movement had forced our mouths to separate, and I watched her to see what reaction I would get.
She reached up with a steady hand, touching the stubble on my jaw. Her skin was so soft it felt like silk, her hands uncalloused from hard labor the way mine were. She inched closer, tipping her head up and waiting for me to close the distance between us.
I smiled as I touched my mouth to hers again, wasting no time on preamble as I opened for her. She matched me, sliding her ass closer until she sat with her legs draped over mine and her core pressed to mine.
I groaned, but forced myself to pull away long enough to give her the reassurance she needed.
“You’re going to be my wife, not my prisoner, Sunfire,” I said, the words a soft sigh.
I wanted nothing more than to pull her down from Thunder’s back and show her all that monogamy with me had to offer, but she’d given me something that mattered to her.
Something I had a feeling she didn’t share with many.
“In my experience, there’s little difference between the two,” she said, her eyes uncertain as she studied me.
“A real marriage should be about compromising and seeing to one another’s needs.
I have to look after my people in the Summer Court and give them stability, but part of that requires me to go to all the different corners of Alfheimr and maintain relations with the nobles there.
If your desires are to travel, then there’s no reason we cannot do that.
You’ll have to be willing to compromise with me and understand that we may not be able to run off all the time, but I have no desire to lock you in a cage, Fallon.
If we’re able and things are stable, we can go wherever you want. ”
“You’d go with me?” she asked, and her shock was palpable.
“Sunfire, you couldn’t keep me away,” I said, smiling down at her as I tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear on the side opposite of her braids.
“But you didn’t ask for this or for me. Mab just dumped me on you, too—”
“Some of the best gifts are the ones you never asked for,” I said, evading the truth and leaning into her more fully. I let her feel the press of me behind her, knowing that we were less than a day’s ride from the first stop on our journey.
“You want me to look at you as a gift?” she asked, quirking her brow at me as if I was arrogant to think so.
I grinned, pulling her tighter into me so that she could feel me. She stilled in my arms, allowing the continued touch when she might not have only a few hours before.
“There are those who would view me as a great gift indeed,” I said, grinning at the snort that she released.
“They must not have known you very well,” she said, and had she not been stuck on a horse with me, I could almost picture her striding away.
Leaving me burning in her wake to prove her wrong.