Chapter 9
MILES
“Well, I have good news,” Dr. Montgomery said. “You’re pregnant!”
Chelsea gasped. Miles didn’t react, but he felt the same sense of shock.
Though this was exactly the outcome they’d been trying to achieve — it shouldn’t have come as a surprise — he hadn’t expected things to be so easy.
They had only been through one round of IUI.
Miles had been mentally bracing himself for a much longer process, one during which he would have to fudge the timeline to his father and hope he hadn’t paid too much attention to the date when Miles had told him he was expecting a baby.
But now it would be easy. He could give his father the real timeline.
The baby would be a few weeks later than his father might expect if he had been paying very close attention, but that wouldn’t be too difficult to obfuscate.
Miles guessed that once he gave his father a due date, his father probably wouldn’t ask any more questions.
Chelsea’s thoughts didn’t seem to be coming as quickly. “Am I really pregnant?” she asked the doctor. “Already? We only did one round of treatment. Everyone was telling us we needed to be prepared for this to take a long time.”
“That is what we say to people,” Dr. Montgomery agreed.
“And it’s good advice, because this process can take months, even years.
But sometimes we get lucky.” She smiled.
“You should look at it as a good sign, I think. You’re both healthy and have good fertility, according to our tests.
There’s a compatibility between the two of you — almost as if you were meant to have a child together.
It’s a very good thing. Congratulations!
Do you have any questions for me right now? ”
“I…” Chelsea shook her head. “I wasn’t expecting this news today. I’m not prepared.”
“That’s okay,” Dr. Montgomery said. “It’s not unusual for people to need a moment to process news as big as this. Why don’t I give you a few minutes?”
“That would be great,” Miles spoke up at last. A moment was exactly what Chelsea needed. That much was easy to see.
Dr. Montgomery got to her feet, still smiling at the two of them. “I’ll give you some time together, and then I’ll come back and we can discuss plans for the future and any questions.” The doctor smiled and left them alone in the room.
Chelsea slumped back in her chair and let out a long sigh. The sound of it sent a spike of anxiety through Miles. “Is everything all right? This is good news, isn’t it?”
She looked up at him. “I think so. But you haven’t said much. You’re happy about it, right?”
“Of course! This is what we were hoping for.” Miles hadn’t sat down when they had first come into the office — he hadn’t expected they’d be here for very long — but now he walked around and took the seat next to Chelsea.
“Now we can talk to my dad about the baby without feeling like we’re being dishonest.”
“I didn’t know you were feeling that way,” she admitted.
“Of course. We are being dishonest. Or we were.”
“Are,” she corrected. “We’re still pretending to be in a relationship with each other, and that isn’t true.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the part that really matters to Dad,” Miles said.
“In fact, we can probably tell him we’ve split up in a couple of months.
He’ll be ready to cope with that news by then.
I don’t want to tell him while he’s sick, but once he’s a bit stronger, we can just say the relationship is over but that we’re going to raise the baby together anyway. ”
“Which means I could move back into my own place,” Chelsea said.
“Sure, you could, but not yet. Since he’s out of the hospital now, he might want to come visit — and for now, at least, I do want him to think we’re still involved.
” He shook his head. “I don’t know why we’re talking about this right now.
We just got amazing news, Chelsea. We’re going to have a baby! ”
“I know why that’s amazing for me,” Chelsea said.
“I mean, this is all I’ve wanted for the longest time.
To be a mother.” She rested a hand on her stomach reverently.
Watching her, Miles thought she actually looked like a pregnant woman, even though her body wasn’t showing any signs yet.
It was something about the way she held herself, as if she contained something impossibly precious.
She really is going to make a great mother. I made the right choice here — not just because she wants a baby and needs my help to have one, but because I want the best possible mother for my child, and I really think Chelsea is that person.
To his utter surprise, he felt his throat swell with emotion.
I’m going to be a father. This is really happening.
He turned his face away and brought himself quickly back under control. What was he doing getting worked up like that? This was a business arrangement. It wasn’t supposed to move him to emotion.
But it wasn’t just business. Of course it wasn’t.
He was doing this because he wanted to make his father happy, and to provide for the future of the company, but he wasn’t a robot.
Of course he would feel something about his own child.
It’d be strange if he didn’t have these feelings, at least in passing.
This was going to be a massive change to his life.
And whoever this baby turned out to be, he would be its father.
That was powerful. Miles had a good relationship with his own father, so the idea of fatherhood meant something to him.
He would be on the opposite end of that equation when this baby was born.
He could only guess at what that would feel like, but he was sure it would be something special.
Miles had always gotten everything he’d wanted in life, so he had never doubted that if he wanted a child, he would have one.
He couldn’t relate to Chelsea’s feelings of anxiety, her fear that becoming a parent might not be possible.
Looking at her now and seeing her shell-shocked by the realization that it was really happening — he couldn’t relate to that. What must this be like for her?
What’s this like for me? For a moment, he allowed himself to focus on what he was feeling. He had only recently realized that this was what he wanted in life, how did it feel to know that it was really going to happen?
Chelsea reached over and put a hand on his arm.
“Are you happy? I know this doesn’t mean as much to you as it does to me — or at least not for the same reasons.
But I’m so happy, I feel like I could float right through the ceiling.
I hope you’re happy too, Miles. I really do.
This is so wonderful. I know it’s happening fast.”
He shook his head, trying to rid himself of his excess of emotion.
He needed to be practical here. “It’s what we wanted,” he said.
“We wanted it to happen quickly. We planned for that. You don’t have to worry that it’s going to be a disappointment to me — this was exactly what I hoped would happen. ”
“I know that,” she agreed. “But there’s a difference between planning and hoping, and… actually facing it. I wouldn’t fault you if you were feeling apprehensive now.”
“Are you?” He turned to look at her, concern for her well-being suddenly returning.
“Of course,” she said. “I want this more than anything. You know I do. But it’s also the biggest thing that’s ever happened in my life, and it’s happening all at once, so quickly.
I don’t know what it will be like. I don’t know how I’m going to feel or what I’m going to do with those feelings.
It’s so much to process.” She sighed, “More than anything, I just want to be a good mother. I’ve always believed I had it in me to be, but now it’s going to be put to the test, and the stakes are suddenly so high. ”
“You’re going to be great,” Miles assured her.
She pressed her lips together, a frown creasing her brow. “I want to believe you’re right, but you really haven’t known me all that long,” she pointed out. “How can you be so sure?”
“My dad was pretty sure about you,” Miles smiled.
“And I’m the same way, Chelsea. He and I have this in common.
We always have. We’re both great at gauging people quickly, sizing them up and determining their good qualities.
You’re a very caring person. I can tell that about you already, and I admire it.
” He hesitated, “I don’t know if you know this, but I lost my mother when I was young.
I understand why it’s important for a child to have a good mother in their life.
I wish I’d had mine for longer than I did.
And I wouldn’t be doing this with you if I didn’t have faith that you could be that kind of mother to our child, Chelsea. ”
Chelsea studied her hands.
“I know this is a lot,” Miles said. “Even though it’s what we wanted, actually facing it is different. You’re right about that. But we can get through it. We can manage it together. And the truth is that I’m… well, I’m more excited than I thought I was going to be.”
Chelsea looked up and smiled at him, she looked relieved.
“I’m so glad you feel that way,” she said softly.
“I don’t know what I would do without you.
I can’t believe I was ever thinking of doing this on my own, Miles.
I think I would be sitting here absolutely terrified right now if I didn’t have someone in it with me. And I’m glad it’s you, too.”
The warmth that spread through Miles at those words was completely unexpected.
He hadn’t thought much about how he would feel about having a child, but even if he had thought about it, he would never have considered the mother’s approval to be something he needed.
Of course she wanted to do this with him — who wouldn’t?
He could provide all the resources she and the baby were ever going to need.
Any sensible woman would embrace that, and Chelsea was clearly smart enough to know a good thing when she saw it.
And yet, Miles had the feeling it wasn’t only his money she was embracing.
The way she was looking at him now seemed deeper than that, as if she was seeing him and not just the resources he could offer her.
As if she was saying he would be a good father.
I can’t believe how much I want to be a good father.
Before he could process that thought, or respond to anything Chelsea had said, there was a knock on the door and Dr. Montgomery re-entered the room.
“How are we doing in here?” she asked gently.
“Thank you,” Chelsea smiled. “You were right. I think we needed a moment. We’re doing well now. This is so exciting — I can’t believe it actually worked as quickly as it did. It really does feel like it was meant to be.”
“Well, let’s get your next few appointments set up,” the doctor suggested, sitting down at her desk and typing away at her computer.
Miles stopped paying attention as the women discussed various dates and the multivitamins Chelsea needed to start taking. The interruption had given him the space he needed to step back from his feelings, and now rational thought was starting to creep back in.
Yes, he wanted to be a good father — because this child was his responsibility, and Miles Aspin took all his responsibilities seriously.
Yes, he was glad the fertility treatment had worked quickly, because it meant that his plan was coming together and that he would be able to give his father the grandchild he yearned for.
That was what these feelings were about.
He had allowed himself to be swept away by the emotion of the moment, but he was over that now.
He was going to keep his mind where it should be — focused on making sure he satisfied his father’s expectations and provided an heir.
That was what this was all about, in the end.
Chelsea had finished her conversation. She got to her feet and beamed at Miles, and he knew that he couldn’t let her know he hadn’t been paying attention. He would catch up on the important information later. He thanked Dr. Montgomery, and followed Chelsea to the door.
As they left the clinic and walked to the car, Chelsea kept turning to smile at Miles.
He returned her smiles, but he felt grateful that she wasn’t trying to prolong their earlier conversation.
If she had tried to talk to him again, Miles was sure he would have gone for it — and before he knew it, he would find himself carried away, romanticizing this process again.
That wasn’t something he wanted to allow himself to do.
This was strictly business. Nothing more.