56 #2
I take two steps at a time. My softening emotions harden again as I near Roland's study.
The door creaks open. Roland is sunken into the armchair while Vesper and Zain are curled next to each other on the adjacent loveseat.
Conversation halts the moment I pass through the threshold.
“Don't stop on my account.” I cross my arms, letting my shoulder and hips fall against the doorframe.
Roland beckons me inside. “Take a seat.” Per usual, I stand with my arms crossed.
Zain's lip curls into a smirk. “He hates being told what to do.”
Roland lets out a long drawn out sigh. “How is she?”
“Fine.” It comes out short and clipped. I'm not here for chit chat. Vesper snaps at me. “Kieran. Be nice. He's helping us. Show some gratitude!”
I scoff. I owe no one shit, especially not Roland.
He's straight as an arrow now, but that never used to be the case.
He indulged in the Void before, albeit a long time ago, he still did.
Fuck knows what sick shit he's done in his past.
As if Vesper can read my thoughts she pipes up.
“One's past doesn't define their future, Kieran.”
Roland pinches the bridge of his nose. “Alright, let's get down to business then.”
I nod in agreement. “Lets.”
Roland's face is nothing less than terrified once we get back on track.
“I'm sure you've heard of what is happening at Grimshaw? Your father’s past indiscretions have caused an uprising. The Elites are painting a picture that it is acceptable to bring all impure into the Void as playthings to breed.”
I hiss out a curse. I should have known that this would snowball.
Mortensen has essentially freely given permission for Elites to fuck and breed with impure, and while purity means shit to me, their consent does.
Rape on campus has been a problem before but now amplified.
I am well aware the Offering at least consents to be a fuck-toy, but never to be bred mercilessly.
Breeding with the impure is forbidden. I know Mortensen didn't expect his actions to lead to this. He's a purist.
“What is your plan?” I ask, knowing they've had time to formulate something.
Vesper gets to her feet. “You could voice your grievances.”
I snort. So diplomatic of her, but nothing about the Void is that simple.
“Mortensen had power in his grasp and was unable to control the Elites after his admission. What the hell makes you think I can? I never asked for this shit. Killing him only grants me ownership and full authority over Void. I don't want it. I want to shut this shit down.
Put that responsibility on someone else.”
Zain slams his fist on the table. The guy rarely loses his temper. “Christ, Kieran. Man up. They used our girls. They fucked her, did you forget!? Stop letting your hatred for your father steer your decisions,” he shouts.
I explode in his face. “Shut your fucking mouth, Z. I know good and well what they did to her, what the hell I did to her! It's my fault she's in this fucking mess. I showed weakness and Mortensen exploited it to force my hand! I am no leader,” I shout back.
My fists shake at my sides. I'm a hair away from punching something—anything.
Rage saturates my insides, seeping onto my skin.
I wanted to leave this life behind but couldn't leave Zain alone with this shit.
I knew one way or another we'd find ourselves in this situation.
Not quite as deep, not involving females we feel something for.
Zain tips his chin up at me. Vesper doesn't say shit. Smart.
“Time to man up, Kieran. Like you said, you always knew you'd be forced into a role you never wanted. Tell me, why don't you want it? You don't give a shit about the girls they use or how they use them. Is it because you lack sensibility?”
he taunts. I'm on him in an instant. The loveseat tips backward sending all three of us flying to the floor.
My fist connects with his cheek. I wrestle him to the floor.
I faintly hear Vesper shout at me to stop.
Roland frantically tries to break us up.
I'm fueled by pure rage. The mother fucker wants to antagonize me.
Zain's knee lands square in my stomach. I fall to my knees with a grunt.
Sweat beads from Zain's forehead. His black stringy hair sticks to his skin.
He smooths it away from his face as he crouches down to eye level.
His breath comes in heavy pants. “There you are. The incensed flame burns inside you. It hasn't extinguished yet. You're afraid of bein’ Mortensen's reflection because you don't think you could possibly be good for her! You're afraid you'll do to her what Mortensen did to your mother.
You're a callous asshole, but you're not that big of a piece of trash. You are capable of feelings. He isn't.”
He puffs, desperately trying to catch his breath. I say nothing. I clutch my stomach and slowly rise to my feet. Zain's muted eyes sink into me. “Man the fuck up. I won’t keep you grounded anymore,” he spits, waving me off.
His words slam into me like a brick wall. He hit the nail on the head. I'm not good for her. I know it. Everyone knows it. What if I fail? What if I lose her?
Roland interjects. “We all need to take a breather and have a rational conversation about this like adults. It's simple, if we can—”
“Simple? Nah.” I choke out a sneer. “Simple for you! You can walk away, I can't!” I pound my fist against my chest. “FUCK!” I shout. Without another word I storm out into the hallway, slamming the door shut behind me making it rattle. A picture hanging above
the doorway crashes to the floor, busting into millions of pieces.