57 #2
Hell, I almost didn't recognize the emotion entirely until Zain explained it.
I love her, too. A weakness on my part, one I can't reciprocate until this is over.
If anyone has a reason to use her against me, the Elites will.
For now it's safer the Elites assume she's my plaything; a temporary distraction.
My fucked up head instantly searches for ways to exploit her open emotions for my own gain.
Letting her believe I do not love her is safer for her, but not my heart.
Having her hatred is better than having nothing.
“We are going back to Grimshaw tomorrow. You're going to class like normal. Ya got me? I'll handle Mortensen. Do you trust me?”
She hesitates but isn't pressing this lovey dovey bullshit. Thank fuck. She clouds my vision, and I know if she goes soft again, I'll lose my shit. I release her from my grip.
Those sapphire eyes drag me down. “Yes,” she whispers.
Fuuuuuck. Who knew how sweet her complete submission would taste on her tongue.
I snatch her wrist and drag her toward the door a little more forcefully than necessary.
“We're gonna stay at Grey's for today, I'm gonna handle shit. I'm gonna be taking you to each class. I'll be by your side as much as I can. You'll be safe.”
It fucking kills me to let her out of my sight at all, but I can’t let my father sink his claws in her.
I can't be held accountable for the ungodly shit I would unleash.
She reluctantly complies; I am completely enthralled with her emotions geared toward me.
It's clouding her judgement, and that's scary as hell.
The last thing she should ever do is put her trust in me fully.
Hell, I don't even trust myself, but I'm too selfish to ever let her go.
I wish I was more of a man, a better one for her.
I escort her out of Roland's estate without so much as a goodbye to anyone else.
I pull my phone out and shoot a text to Grey.
I am close to Silas and Val, but knowing they've fucked her still sets me on edge.
The past is the past, but I'd rather keep her away from them.
Grey allows us to use his guest house for the night in an understanding that I owe him one.
The motherfucker never does anything out of generosity.
Tomorrow when classes start the entire student body will see us together, until then I need time alone with my Nightshade.
I'm not proud of the choices I have made and will continue to make, but I don't deserve her love.
My memory is clouded by my thoughts of her.
Her smile. Her touch. Her cunt. The urge to drown in alcohol creeps into my chest.
I stole Zain's keys to his Lincoln. He can bite my head off later.
She doesn't say a damn word the entire drive, and neither do I.
Her sweet scent fills the car, testing my willpower.
I want nothing more than to drown in her body.
I'm sick in the head, I know it. My hands clench the steering wheel.
Her hand creeps toward my thigh. The tips of her fingers feather along my jeans.
I hold back a curse, because fuck this woman is a tease.
My insides coil tight like a spring. I want nothing more than to slam on the brakes, pull over and fuck her until she saturates into my being. My resolve is dissolving.
Her tank top hugs her tits perfectly. The swell of her breasts teases me. “If you don't stop, I'm going to fuck you until you cry for your God, and sweetheart, he's not gonna save you.”
Her hand stills along my jeans. She changes the subject entirely.
“What if Mortensen takes me back to the Void?”
Her blonde hair falls over her frown, but she can't hide from me.
I take one hand off the wheel and thread it through her strands forcing her eyes on me.
“Nah, I'll never let him touch you. You are mine. Got it?”
I reassure her. I'm not used to giving a fuck about what she feels, but something about those sad eyes pull at my cold heart.
I weave through the traffic in silence. When I look over, her little body is curled against the passenger window.
After all she's been through her body is in desperate need of repair.
Wrought iron gates emerge in the distance through the fog.
I punch in the gate code. The car coasts around to the back of the sprawling estate, like Mortensen, the Elites love their flashy shit.
Rows of sculptured statues, fountains, and lamp posts line the entrance.
I'm not worried about his old man finding us, he's too far plugged into the Void, getting his cock sucked, to give a fuck what happens in his own backyard.
Still, I cut the headlights just in case.
I don't need anyone else getting involved with this shit right now.
We’re playing a dangerous game and I won't hesitate to keep her safe at any cost.
I'll pay any price to ensure she remains at my side.
I cut the engine. Fuck knows how long I let my inner turmoil eat away at me like a corrosive acid.
I stare at her like someone's going to rip her from me again. Her soft exhales fog the window.
My head settles against the headrest. She fucks with my emotions.
All I want is to be able to control myself, something I've always lacked.
She threatens to undo me. Her ocean eyes sink into my depths, laying her anchor in my heart.
Finally, I get out and carry her into the guest house.
It's a simple building nestled poolside.
Inside I settle her onto the bed. My body sinks beside hers.
I kiss her lips tasting her sweetness, unable to get enough.
Without her, I fall apart, only she makes me feel alive.
“I love you, Nightshade,” I rasp along her temple knowing exactly what I need to do.