64
“Fuck, just pick one before I change my mind,” I grumble. I can't believe I'm doing this shit for her. I don't want to raise a monster like my father did. I don't think I'm capable of being anything other than dark and twisted. Clara pulls my arm and yanks me face level.
“If you're not ready for this, we can go,” she mutters, clearly attuned to my dilemma.
Her dewy skin beads with sweat. She's nervous.
Fuck, me too. Her gorgeous face falls when I don't immediately respond.
The past few months she's blossomed into my strong butterfly, so I figured this would help her find that solace she needs or whatever.
I still haven't a clue how to be who the hell she needs, but what can I say? I'm a work in progress.
“Nah, it's fine.” I kiss her nose making her delicate smile sweep back over her face.
Her little nose crinkles, making my heart squeeze.
She squeals in excitement as she tugs my big bulky frame toward the back of the orphanage.
A little girl is all smiles in a frilly pink dress.
She's swinging on the run down swing set without a care in the world.
How she still manages a smile on her face every day irks me.
She's so innocent and carefree despite her circumstances.
A wild thought. Her blonde ringlet curls fly in unruly spirals in all directions. She has large doe eyes, a deep shade of blue. She's small for her age. She's probably five, maybe six? They likely give her meager portions in a place like this. Clara is entranced. She drops my wrist. I wait. I watch.
Clara lights up like a Christmas tree the moment she strikes up a conversation with the little girl. She lets the swing slow, her feet kicking up dirt. An innocent bubbly giggle escapes the girl's throat at something Clara says. Clara settles into the swing next to her.
The seat is far too small, but that doesn't stop my girl.
A strange sensation pulls at my insides.
Zain says it is love. He describes it as a fulfilling sense of care, longing and deep-rooted desire for another.
I know I love Clara, I've figured out that much, but what is happening right now sends shock waves crashing through me.
A similar feeling envelopes me. Something I can't put my finger on.
A strange urge to protect the little girl surges through my veins.
I run my fingers through my course curls. Emotions have always hit me 10x harder than the average person.
Clara points to me, ripping me from my thoughts.
The little girl's eyes fall on me from across the yard.
For a moment, she looks horrified. Her sweet smile fades to a distrusting frown.
My tats and piercings are probably something from her nightmares or whatever.
Then I smile. She smiles back. Then she jumps off the swing and runs toward me.
Clara chases after her with a giggly laugh. “Wait for me!”
I slide my hands in my pockets, because what the hell does one do in this situation? I don't know shit about kids. “Hi, I'm Verity.”
I blink a few times. I swear the whole outside world can hear my heartbeat. “I'm Kieran,” I finally respond.
She cocks her head. “Are you going to be my daddy now?”
Christ. How the fuck does one say no to that? Clara stifles a giggle behind Verity. My eyes shoot up to Clara, pleading for some sense of direction. She's thrown me to the wolves in uncharted territory. Taking control? Easy as shit. Leading the Void. Cake!
Talking to kids? What the fuck do I even do?
Clara comes around and snakes her arm around my waist. She winks at me, clearly enjoying my discomfort. Clara rocks back and forth on her toes. “Verity here is six and a half.” She informs me. My brows shoot up. I crouch down. “Is that so?”
Verity covers her mouth and snorts. “Mhm,” she hums. Something warm grabs hold of my insides. Clara taps my shoulder. I rise to my feet as the matron plows through the other waiting families, clipboard in hand.
“Off to play now, Verity.” She gives the girl a stern look before she races through the yard to a group of other waiting children.
The matron eyes Clara then me. She lowers her glasses.
She knows who I am. Who doesn't? I know the shit floating through her head.
Luckily she doesn't comment. That would be unwise. She flips through her clipboard.
“Verity. She has been here two years. Her mother is deceased and her father used to abuse her. She has a lot of love to give but struggles with night terrors. She may have additional issues that resurface later in life from childhood trauma. We do not know the extent of abuse he subjected her to,
” she says plainly.
What the fuck. Abused, starved, and fuck knows what else. I can't let that happen. I know all too well what abuse can do to a person, Clara too. It isn't too late for Verity.
Clara squeezes my arm hoping to sway me. “That's heartbreaking.”
Her voice cracks.
The matron nods. “Indeed. Verity will need a strong home with loving parents.”
“We want her.” The words leave my mouth before I can stop myself. Damn your impulses, Kieran. Though . . . this time it feels right.
Clara snaps her head in my direction. Her eyes go wide. “We do?” she asks. I nod. Seems like I better figure this dad shit out. The future of the Void depends on one sweet little girl.
Thank you so much for reading.