Chapter 8
Me? A girlfriend? Yeah. I freaked out. I panicked.
And I ran.
I groaned as I parked my car. I knew running was a bad idea the moment my eyes popped open this morning. If Beretta was insane before, I knew I hadn’t seen anything yet after the night we just shared.
Flashes of the sex we had—no . . . the lovemaking—filled my mind. I closed my eyes tightly and relished in how good last night had felt. And not just the sex . . . everything. Being with Beretta felt so right.
My eyes popped open as a fresh wave of panic hit me. I got out of my car and jogged up to the front door of Chyna’s house. I’d sought out my sister for my meltdown yesterday. It was Chyna’s turn today. Chiara needed to be on standby because at this rate, I’d need her ass tomorrow.
I rang the doorbell and waited, but it only took a few seconds for Keegan to answer the door. He looked down at me with a knowing smile, and I frowned as I pushed past him.
“What?”
He chuckled. “Yeah, aight. I seen that post, Icelynn. You and my cousin, huh?” Keegan asked.
The post. Damn. I’d forgotten all about that. I groaned again. “Where is my cousin?”
“Right here, girl. Come into the kitchen with me,” Chyna said as she descended the stairs with KJ and Liam right behind her.
“Auntie!” Liam shouted. He and KJ hugged me around my waist as soon as they hit the bottom step.
“Hey, rug rats.” I patted them on the head before I followed Chyna into the kitchen.
Keegan had disappeared somewhere else in this big-ass house, and that was just fine with me. I needed a bit of girl time so I could come to terms with this big ass change in my life.
I sat on one of the stools at the center island, and Liam and KJ climbed up onto their own stools on either side of me while Chyna moved around the kitchen to make some coffee and fix the boys each a bowl of cereal.
Finally, with her mug of coffee in hand, she leaned her elbows on the center island across from me. She peered into my eyes over the top of her cup like she had all the answers in the world.
“You really think you and Beretta are a good idea, Ice?” Chyna asked.
I shook my head. “No.”
I let out a deep sigh as Chyna continued to peer at me.
“Beretta is my uncle cousin,” KJ said proudly.
“Him my friend,” Liam added.
I rolled my eyes. Here these two went. They didn’t know how to stay out of grown folks’ business at all.
“Him is Auntie Icelynn’s friend, too, Li. Her special friend.” Chyna giggled before she took a sip of her coffee.
I cut my eyes at her. “This ain’t funny, Chy. You know like hell I don’t know the first thing about being a damn girlfriend.”
Chyna sighed and put her mug down. She gave me her full attention as she responded. “Then why did you agree to be his girlfriend?”
“I didn’t! Not really. He didn’t give me a choice.”
Chyna snorted. “That sounds real familiar.”
I bet it did. Keegan’s crazy ass had snatched Chyna up quick as hell once they got into that groove, but they’d at least known each other for three years before that happened.
I’d known Beretta’s crazy ass for six months, and 90 percent of that time we spent going at it like we couldn’t stand each other.
“What am I gonna do?”
“Play dinosaurs,” KJ said firmly.
I blinked up at the ceiling. I had almost forgotten the rug rats were here. I looked at him and raised my brows. “Yeah? You think that’s going to fix my boy problems, kid?” I ruffled his hair.
KJ shrugged. “Boys like dinosaurs. Maybe if you learn to play, Uncle Retta will like you so much he will kiss you.”
“Gross. You wanna kiss, Auntie?”
I looked at Liam and laughed when I saw his little nose all scrunched up. I poked him in his side, and he laughed.
“I do way more than kiss that man.”
“Okay, enough. Boys, bring your cereal to the living room. You can watch TV.”
The boys cheered and then very carefully got down from their stools, collected their bowls full of cereal, and dashed out of the room.
“What?” I asked as Chyna eyed me like I did something wrong.
“Really? You wanna talk to my kids about all the nasty shit you and Beretta do? Just gross.” Chyna’s nose scrunched up just like her son’s had seconds ago.
I giggled. “Can’t be nastier than what you and Kee be doing. Probably right here on this counter.” Chyna’s face went from one of disgust to one like she daydreamed about the shit she and her husband had done right here on this center island. I scooted back in my chair. “Okay, yuck.”
Chyna snapped out of her daydream and cut her eyes at me. “Okay, enough of that. Talk to me. Why you so worried about this relationship?”
“Have you met me?” I threw my arms up in the air dramatically.
“Known your ass since we looked like some damn potatoes fresh out the womb.”
“First of all, I ain’t ever looked like a damn potato,” I argued.
Chyna’s brow arched. “I have photos that suggest otherwise.”
I huffed out a breath. “This isn’t helping. I shouldn’t have come here.”
I made a move to hop off the stool, but Chyna rounded the counter quickly and stopped me. “Okay, okay, Ice. Chill. For real, I get it. I know how you feel. It’s scary falling in love. I remember it well.”
“Duh, you remember it. It was only six months ago. You act like it’s been a lifetime.”
She shrugged. “Feels like it.”
We stayed silent for a moment before I asked, “You really think this is love?”
Chyna kissed her teeth. “I knew that from the moment y’all met right here in this damn house.
I’ve never seen you light up like that. I just wasn’t sure if Beretta felt the same, but I quickly saw that the feeling was mutual.
You two just haven’t understood it. Low-key, Keegan and I have had a bet on how long it would take you guys to admit your feelings for one another.
Thanks, by the way. I won. He thought it would take three years. ” She snorted.
I just shook my head. I couldn’t fathom three full years of the toxicity between Beretta and me. Someone would have ended up dead, that was for sure. Now, it felt like something had shifted between us. Suddenly, we no longer had to arm our attitudes toward each other.
“I don’t know how to be in love. I wasn’t wired this way, Chy,” I whispered.
My whole life, I was fine with having the upper hand and not allowing men to have any kind of control over me.
I knew what love looked like. I saw it with my parents, but I just never felt the need to have it for myself.
I’d seen Chyna have terrible relationships, my sister, my cousin .
. . I never needed to go through all that myself to hopefully find true love.
I had true love from my family. That was always enough for me.
Chyna squeezed my hands. “Yes the hell you were. You may have pretended you weren’t or convinced yourself you weren’t, but you are definitely wired to love and receive love. And if you want my honest opinion, nobody but Beretta can love your crazy ass. Y’all are a match made in hell.”
I chuckled. “We ain’t that bad.”
“Yeah, okay. You two leave devastation in your wake wherever you go.”
I rolled my eyes. I felt she was being dramatic. Sort of anyways.
I smiled softly as I thought about him. “I really never felt like any man could ever match me, but then I met him, and he proved me wrong.”
“He proved us all wrong, cousin. I never thought anyone could match your crazy ass either. I always thought if you did settle down, it would be with a poor man you would run all over.”
I grinned. “Yeah, that ain’t happening with Beretta. Is it weird that I kind of like that?”
Chyna cocked her head to the side. “Is it weird that I got wet watching Keegan beat my old landlord with an iron pipe?”
I cackled, remembering the day fondly. “Nah, that shit was super entertaining. I liked Keegan for you ever since then.”
Chyna shook her head. “Yeah, ’cause him and Beretta are the same kind of crazy in different fonts.
I just know they were hell growing up.” No lies detected there.
“What I’m saying is that it’s not strange to like a man who can put you in your place.
That’s what he’s supposed to do. Men are leaders by nature.
You won’t ever be in your soft girl era, but I do believe that you can learn to allow Beretta to lead you.
You just have to open yourself up to trusting someone else with your heart other than yourself. It’ll come with time and patience.”
“And probably a lot of arguing.”
“Probably.” Chyna agreed. “But it’s what y’all do best. Ain’t no shame in that. It works for you guys. I think that, eventually, that arguing and shit will settle into comfortable, loving bickering.”
To me, it already felt like that. Even when Beretta did the most and caused scenes or hurt my feelings, deep down, I always knew it was rooted in love, and the same went for my actions toward him.
Love.
“Wow. This is really happening.”
“It’s really happening, Cousin, and I love it for you.”
I beamed, but my smile fell slightly when I thought of Beretta. “He’s going to kill me.”
“Why?” Chyna asked with her brows crushed together.
“I might have snuck out of his house this morning after we had such a vulnerable night together.” Guilt crept in because I knew if I was in Beretta’s position, I would knock all this shit over and knock his damn head off.
Chyna snickered. “Yeah, I’ma need you to leave. I don’t need him finding your ass over here and knocking me upside my head as a damn accomplice.”
My brows rose. “You’re really kicking me out to fend for myself?”
“Yup.”
I rolled my eyes as I hopped off the stool and stretched. “Fine. I need to shower and change, anyway, and then I’ll go back to his house and face my punishment. Maybe it’ll be a good one.” A lopsided grin overtook my features.
“Ew, you ain’t even wash your ass before coming over here?” Chyna’s nose scrunched, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I cut my eyes at her. “This is the last time I come to you for comfort in my desperate time of need.”
I stalked toward the front door.
“Oh, you’re extra sensitive this morning,” she teased.
I stuck my middle finger up at her. “Bye, rug rats!”
“Bye, Auntie!” they called out from the living room.
I opened the front door and ignored Chyna when she said bye to me. She simply laughed and closed the door.
In the car, I tossed my phone to the side, not wanting to see if Beretta called.
All I wanted to do was shower and get back over there.
If I was lucky, he would still be asleep and not even notice I was gone.
I would even pack some clothes to keep at his place.
Give this whole relationship thing a true try.
And since his ass had a key to my place, he needed to be ready to make me one for his place.
A lazy smile formed on my face as I drove home, completely lost in thought and settling into the fact that I was a girlfriend now . . . and in love.
When I pulled up to my place, though, my smile completely dropped, right along with my heart. Beretta’s car was parked outside. He wasn’t in it, which meant he was already inside and probably pissed the fuck off.
Slowly, I got out of my car and prepared myself to kiss Beretta’s ass. He deserved it. I just had to keep reminding myself that if I was in his shoes, I would be mad too. Hurt and mad. I couldn’t allow my temper to get the best of me.
I coached myself all the way to my door, and when I unlocked it and pushed it open, I was met with an angry-faced Beretta standing in the middle of my living room.
“Where you been, Juicy?”