Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
Fender
The moment she said my name, I knew I’d fucked up. No, that was an understatement. I’d just claimed Tempest, I’d made her my mate without her agreement, something that couldn’t be undone.
There were a lot of things I could blame what I’d done on: the shit from Pan’s realm that had still been fucking with the beast when we walked into this room, and still hadn’t completely left me yet.
The fear of what was coming, a war, and the driving need to claim Tempest to keep her safe, so I could keep her close and protect her.
All of those things had played a part in what I’d just done, but none of it was an excuse.
I’d taken away Tempest’s choice. I’d made a decision about her life, the entirety of it, and hadn’t included her in the decision.
What I’d done was wrong in every conceivable way, and now, somehow, I had to explain what I’d done to the sweet female still knotted to me, looking at me with wide, confused eyes, and hope like fuck she’d find a way to forgive me.
If she chose not to, if she chose to leave me instead—I may as well have War put me down now, because life wouldn’t be worth living. A hound, once mated, didn’t do well without his female, not fucking at all.
“Fender?” she said and tried to move again.
I grabbed her hip, holding her to me. “We’re locked together, peaches. It’s normal.” Between mates anyway. “You have to stay with me for a little longer, okay?”
Her eyes were still wide, but she nodded. “Something happened, didn’t it? I feel like something just happened.”
My knot should have released her by now, but the beast could smell her distress and my body was holding on to her all on its own. Some primal reaction to her tensing against me, her preparation to flee, when I hadn’t even told her what the something that happened was.
I breathed deep, trying to calm myself, but more importantly, trying to calm the beast down. Until it felt her relax, my knot was going to hold her in place and not let her go.
“When we walked in here, I said there was something I needed to tell you,” I said roughly, the beast in my throat.
Her eyes flared wider, and she tried to jerk forward again. I hissed and hooked my arm around her waist to keep her hips where they were, snug against me. “If you don’t stop panicking, baby, it’s gonna take a lot longer for my knot to release you.”
She nodded, woodenly, and lay back, but she was stiff as hell. “Does this happen every time you have sex?” she said, her voice shuddery as if she were freezing cold, when she was the total opposite.
Pressing my lips to the mark I’d given her, I shook my head.
“No.” It was fucked, considering the circumstances, but there was no stopping the feeling of elation when I looked at her mark.
It was the nicest one I’d seen. Maybe all my brothers felt that way, but it looked so pretty on her smooth skin.
“Tell me what just happened, Fender.”
Her voice snapped me back to reality, and I held her tighter to me, as if I could will her to forgive me for what I’d done, as if I could make her feel the same way I did and return it—as if I could make her love me back.
“There’s something I’ve known for a while that I didn’t tell you. I wanted to, but you’re skittish, baby, and you were so determined to keep this casual between us that I was afraid that if I told you the truth, then you’d bolt and I’d lose you—”
“What truth?” she rushed out.
“You’re my mate, Temp…and after what we just did, we’re mated…in truth.”
She went utterly still. “No…that isn’t…that can’t be possible. I don’t have a mate, I can’t…”
“Yeah, peaches, you do.”
She was shaking her head. “You’re wrong, you have to be.” She tried to pull away again, but we were still knotted and there was no sign of it releasing her.
“I’m not.”
“How do you know?” she rushed out. “You could be wrong…you have to be wrong.”
Her denial, her obvious shock and horror at the idea, was making the beast pace and snarl.
He wasn’t going to release her, not until she said she was ours.
“A hound only knots with their mate. But I knew before this, I’ve known for a while now, when I started to feel more than I should.
A hound only develops a wide range of emotions when they spend time with their female. ”
“And you felt this? You’ve developed more emotions?”
“Yes,” I said and gently rubbed her hip, trying to calm her.
She was shaking her head, though, and her distress rose. “This can’t be happening…oh gods, this can’t be.”
“Is it really so bad?” I choked out, unable to stop myself, because her denial fucking hurt.
She twisted again, so she could see my face. “Yes…” She shook her head. “This isn’t supposed to happen. It shouldn’t be possible. I don’t have a mate, I don’t get one—”
“Yes, you do,” I said. “You’re looking at him.”
“I don’t understand. I need to go…you need to let me go. Release me,” she said, struggling against me. “Fender, let me go.”
“I can’t,” I choked out. “I need you to relax, peaches. I can’t let go unless you calm down—”
“I don’t need to do any such thing. You didn’t ask me if I wanted this, you didn’t give me the choice. I can’t be here right now. I need to go home, let me go home.”
“Tempest, please. I didn’t mean to do this, not now, I never planned to do it this way. I’m so fucking sorry. Peaches, will you just stop for a minute and take a fucking breath. We can talk this through…we can—”
“No,” she screamed, not anger, sheer panic. Her eyes locked with mine, with the beast. “Let me go,” she said with so much horror and desperation that the beast recoiled. My knot instantly deflated and slipped from her.
Tempest was off the bed in an instant, snatching up her clothes and bag, and ran to the bathroom. The door slammed and I scrambled out of bed, hopping down the hall after her.
“Tempest? Please, we need to talk.” Nothing, not a sound. I pounded on the door. “Tempest!” I grabbed the handle. She hadn’t locked it, and I shoved it open. I stormed in after her—but she was gone.
Tempest
I stumbled across the yard, my legs still shaking, not only from what we’d done but what Fender had told me. His mate? I couldn’t be. Matildas didn’t have mates, the fates made sure of it, but goddess, he’d sounded so sure of it.
Shoving the door open, I walked into the cottage and collapsed on the floor.
I’d blown up my life. I’d abandoned my patients.
I’d selfishly gone after what I wanted and destroyed everything.
There was no way I’d be permitted to stay here now.
I shook my head. Fender’s mate? No, it was impossible, forbidden.
It couldn’t be true. Matilda W told me that it was impossible, that allowing myself to believe otherwise would only end in pain, that we were, and always would be, a coven of spinsters. No, Fender was mistaken. He had to be.
Now my coven wasn’t answering me, and I’d just run from Fender and more than likely hurt him as well, and telling him why he was wrong, telling him who and what I was, would be another betrayal to the Matildas, and after the destruction I’d already caused, I couldn’t bring myself to cause more.
“I’m sorry,” I said out loud. “I’m so sorry I let you all down.” But there was no reply. No familiar voices in my mind, no comforting rush of warmth as their power touched me, letting me know they were there. There was nothing.
Not knowing what to do or where to go, I headed for the cemetery.
Glindy followed me, lying down with me beside Matilda W’s grave.
She’d trusted me, and I’d failed her. “I’m so sorry, Sarah,” I whispered, using her true name.
She’d shared it with me when I got older and learned the truth and realized Matilda wasn’t her birth name.
I’d asked and she’d given it to me, but I’d never used it, not until she lay dying and asked me to, because she wanted to be Sarah one last time before she left the mortal realm.
I’d loved her, and she’d loved me. I’d tried not to, to protect myself, but I had, and I missed her so much right then that it hurt.
It hurt so badly, and all I could think was how much I wanted Fender with me right then.
How badly I needed him to comfort me and call me peaches and hold me in his strong arms.
He doesn’t want you. Not really.
You’re nothing.
Nobody wants you.
A sob broke free as the hateful words echoed in my mind, but it was my father’s voice.
You’re lucky I allowed you to live in my home as long as I did. Your mother never wanted you either.
I covered my ears, unable to move. Frozen, as his hateful voice came at me over and over again. I couldn’t go inside, my legs wouldn’t work. I wanted Fender, but I couldn’t do that either. I had nowhere to go. Nowhere.
Magnolia wasn’t my friend anymore, Jack didn’t want me anywhere near him or the clinic, and I’d run out on Fender. I’d screamed at him to let me go. But I didn’t want that, I didn’t want him to let me go.
He wouldn’t want me to come back now, why would he? Like everyone else in my life, he wouldn’t want anything to do with me.
Why would anyone want such an ugly, pathetic little thing like you?
My father was right.
I was all alone.
And it was exactly what I deserved.
When I woke next, it was still dark. Glindy was curled up beside me, tucked under my chin, and my arm was curled around her small body. I listened for what had woken me, because something had woken me. I was sure of it.
My phone.
I grabbed it from my pocket and checked it.
Messages. There were so many messages from Fender.
Outside your place, peaches. Please, baby, talk to me.
That one was right after I left. He must have ridden straight to my door behind All the Herbs.
Ten minutes later: I fucked up. Please, Temp, we can work this out.
Fifteen minutes after that: I know I’m fucking up again, aren’t I? Sitting out here like this. You left to get away from me, and I ignored your wishes and your boundaries and followed you. I put my own needs ahead of yours again. I’m sorry, Tempest. I’ll leave.
Another came an hour after that: I’m at the clubhouse. I’ll be here if you want to talk.
And he’d sent a voice message eight minutes ago.
I hit the button to replay it. “I’m gonna give you the space you want, peaches,” he said in that wonderful deep, raspy voice.
“But just so we’re clear, I want you. I want to be with you.
I want my mate by my side. I know you have secrets…
whatever they are or whatever you’ve done, I don’t care.
Nothing could change what I feel about you.
I know you, Tempest, and, baby, you are everything I have ever dreamed of.
I’ll be here waiting when you’re ready to talk. ”
Then he disconnected.
My cheek tickled. I swiped at it and realized I was crying.
He still wanted me.
I stared down at my phone—it started ringing, and I quickly answered it. “Fender?”
“T-Tempest?”
A frail voice came down the line. “June?”
“I…I need your help.”
She didn’t sound right. “June, are you okay? What’s going on?”
“Please…please, I need you to come to the store.” Then she hung up.
Something was seriously wrong. Jumping to my feet, I ran inside, grabbed my bag, and used the door handle to get to her. When I walked out behind her shop, I shivered.
It was dark back here. The light above the door at the back of her shop was out, but I knew something was wrong before that, when the smell of sickness, thick and cloying, hung heavy in the air.
Oh gods, June. Her door was ajar. Shoving it open, I ran inside and found her on the floor. Her skin was gray, her eyes bloodshot. Her body was emaciated, as if she’d been starved for weeks, when that was impossible.
I dropped down beside her. “When did this happen?” I pressed my hand to her clammy skin.
Her mouth opened and closed, and I could see her shriveling up before my eyes. She was dying in front of me. “June?” I said, trying to force my healing powers into her, even though I knew it was no use. She was too far gone.
She tried to lift her hand but couldn’t do it. Her gaze slid from me then, wild with terror, and locked on something behind me—then she was gone.
“I thought it was about time I formally introduced myself,” a horrifying voice said.
Slowly, I rose and turned.
Disease stood before me. The same male who I’d seen walking around the clinic, the one who had made me sick when he’d touched me that one time. He wore jeans and a hooded sweatshirt with the hood up. He smiled broadly. “I am Disease, and it’s time we had a little talk, don’t you think?”